Wei Xiu started feeling conflicted. He’s been doing his best to ignore his feelings, while still indulging with the warmth between the two of them.
He wants to take Xu Yunchun everywhere he goes, and while the other likes to stick to him, he’s also naturally playful.
Unlike him, who is reserved, Xu Yunchun can get along with anybody, sometimes spending time outside with some military comrades. Wei Xiu would always say “Go wherever you please”, but there was always a bit of bitterness in his heart.
Especially when he saw Xu Yunchun speaking with a woman, he always had to suppress the impulse to snatch him away.
*
“Young master,” one afternoon, Xu Yunchun climbed onto Wei Xiu’s back, “say ‘ah’.”
“What is it?” Confused, Wei Xiu still opens his mouth.
Xu Yunchun puts a candy into Wei Xiu’s mouth, it’s osmanthus flavored candies.
Wei Xiu grinned, and the other said: “It was made by the squad leader’s sister. How is it?”
Utterly oblivious, Xu Yunchun passes the candies to Wei Xiu: “It’s the young master’s favorite flavor. Here young master.”
“It’s not, you eat it.”
“It is!”
“It’s not!”
Xu Yunchun thought Wei Xiu’s reaction was strange. He pulled at the other’s sleeve. Wei Xiu waved him away, but regrettably, that wave splashed the candies out of Xu Yunchun’s hands.
Wei Xiu’s heart sank.
‘Oh no’, he thought, expecting to hear Xu Yunchun start wailing, instead, Xu Yunchun was completely silent. He gave him a look, then turned and left.
Xu Yunchun was angry.
Seeing the other angry, Wei Xiu felt ashamed. Then, he also felt an unexplainable anger.
It was just some candies, why did he get so mad? Because it was gifted by that girl?”
Wei Xiu also turned and left.
With the two gone, there were just a few pieces of candies left on the floor, covered in dust.
*
Wei Xiu stayed angry for an hour. Once his anger subsided, he understood his wrongdoing.
So what if Xu Yunchun got close to a girl? Why would he be upset?
*
That night, Wei Xiu made a table full of Xu Yunchun’s favorite dishes, expression tense, he called his young attendant to come eat.
Xu Yunchun was sitting on the bed, ignoring him.
“Come eat!”
He turned his face away, refusing to look at him.
“Suit yourself.”
Wei Xiu left.
Later, Young Master Wei brought in a large lunchbox, placed it in front of Xu Yunchun, and left with a foul expression on his face. After some time, he came back in. He discovered that the other hadn’t touched the lunchbox, and in a huff, started feeding Xu Yunchun. At first, Xu Yunchun refused to eat, constantly turning his head away, but when he saw that it was his favorite food, he calmly accepted it.
*
After eating, Xu Yunchun’s expression eased up a bit. He took out a folding fan and started fiddling with it: “What a nice fan. It’s been immersed in osmanthus oil, so it smells of osmanthus when you fan it. The frame is made of refined steel. Light and durable, it can be used as a weapon. There’s also a hidden compartment in the larger part of the frame,” Xu Yunchun pressed something, and a mechanism was released, “you can put anything in it: drugs, hidden weapons, candy, the osmanthus candy Chunchun had someone specially make, but was wasted to the floor…”
Wei Xiu’s complexion turned red. Xu Yunchun’s face showed nothing but calm
“Chunchun…”
Xu Yunchun twisted the fan into Wei Xiu’s direction, handing it to him. But when the other reached to receive it, he pulled it back.
“This is for good young masters, not bad young masters.” Xu Yunchun hugged the fan to his chest, turning away from Wei Xiu.
*
That night, Wei Xiu pleaded and pleaded, and only then did Xu Yunchun give the fan to his good young master.
Xu Yunchun said: “A birthday present.”
Wei Xiu was stunned: “It’s been over half a year since my birthday…”
Xu Yunchun: “I hadn’t finished it then. What could I have done?”
Wei Xiu: “Young master Xu is correct.”
Wei Xiu played with the fan, letting it release puffs of osmanthus, the scent soothing his soul.
This fan was handmade for him by Xu Yunchun himself, it was made so beautifully; when it’s open, the characters “Wei Xiu” can be found subtly carved at the end of the handle, but when it’s closed the carving is nowhere to be found.
All of Xu Yunchun’s gifts to Wei Xiu will have those characters carved in bronze script. Simple, yet impactful.
Looking at those characters, Wei Xiu imagined what Xu Yunchun must have looked like carving them stroke by stroke, and a rush of emotions would surface.
Chunchun, his Chunchun.
*
A year elapsed, the emperor passed away, and the crown prince rose to the throne. The previous chief minister’s son becomes the chief minister and the current emperor’s confidant.
“The chief minister is not a good person.” Xu Yunchun said, “I hate him.”
Although the emperor was benevolent, he had no thoughts of his own. He knew deep down that his skills were lacking and always felt a sense of unease, afraid that generals and noblemen with strong connections to the military would overthrow him. This type of emperor was most susceptible to slander and falsetalk, and the minister happened to be quite conniving.
“It seems trouble is on its way,” Wei Xiu said, “once the clans of the northwest regions have been suppressed, I’ll retire from my position.”
“Yay!” Xu Yunchun cheers, “Then the young master can accompany me to all kinds of places!”
Wei Xiu smiled.
Young master and Chunchun, hand in hand at the ends of the world. This is the future he had always wished for.
Just how their future should be.
*
That year, invasions from the clans of the northwest regions continued. Wei Xiu was ordered to Shizhou by the emperor to suppress them.
As usual, Xu Yunchun was to follow suit as his attendant. But, unexpectedly, three days before they are meant to set out, Xu Yunchun falls sick. The sickness hits like a wild bull and Xu Yunchun is bedridden.
“Chunchun, get up and drink some medicine.”
“Leave the medicine outside, don’t come any closer…” Xu Yunchun said. His throat was hoarse, “I can’t let the young master get infected.”
Usually Xu Yunchun was quick to pout and complain. Even a small cold would have him pestering Wei Xiu, refusing to eat anything except porridge specially made by Wei Xiu himself, and needing to be fed medicine one spoon at a time or else he refused to drink it.
But now, he wouldn’t even see Wei Xiu, too afraid to pass the sickness onto him before he headed out to battle. Wei Xiu was worried sick, but he knew that Xu Yunchun was considering the bigger picture.
*
The day before setting out to battle, Wei Xiu is completely ill of ease, so he returns home from the training grounds.
He stood at the door, and quietly called out: “Yunchun.”
From inside, Xu Yunchun said, voice hoarse: “You mustn’t come in, young master.”
“I understand, I won’t come in, I just…”
Wei Xiu couldn’t continue his sentence.
Suddenly, the window cracked open a bit, and Xu Yunchun reached his hand out from it.
Understanding his intention, Wei Xiu hurriedly reached his hand out too.
Separated by the window, Xu Yunchun and Wei Xiu grasp each other’s hands. Just as had happened countless times in the past, as Wei Xiu worried anxiously for his young attendant, he quietly reached out his hand to snuggly hold hands with Xu Yunchun.
*
Wei Xiu set out to battle.
Xu Yunchun vowed that as soon as he’s better, he will immediately follow, but half a month later, there was still no sign of Xu Yunchun, Wei Xiu hadn’t even received one letter from home.
Eventually, a letter did come.
Wei Xiu was already going crazy, even just a glimpse of Xu Yunchun’s handwriting would ease his mind. But, when he opened the letter, he saw the handwriting of the new housekeeper.
“Xu Yunchun’s sickness still leaves him bedbound.”
It was 8 words, and every one of them were like a knife stabbing through Wei Xiu’s heart, it hurt so much he couldn’t lie to himself anymore.
He couldn’t be without Xu Yunchun.
Xu Yunchun was the person he loved the most.
*
The housekeeper also stated that Xu Yunchun is in bed constantly missing Wei Xiu, itching to get up and head out. As he read this, Wei Xiu wanted to give up everything and return to Xu Yunchun’s side. But he knew he had a considerable responsibility on his shoulders, if he wanted to return home, the only thing he can do was hurry and win this battle.
*
That night, snow fluttered about not hitting the ground.
In the still quiet of the night, the military mess cook holds a needle steadily in his hand as he carefully pricks Wei Xiu’s chest.
Drop by drop, the ink collects into the two characters for “Yunchun”.
“Yunchun”, boldly tattooed in bronze script, slightly wobbly, like an answer to the countless carvings of “Wei Xiu”.
Wei Xiu had Xu Yunchun tattooed onto his heart.
Indeed, Xu Yunchun was undeniably the one who had his heart.
*
Wei Xiu won this battle at a speed never seen before.
The troops made their way back to the kingdom with Wei Xiu at the head of the group itching to get back home to Xu Yunchun. He wanted to be back at Xu Yunchun’s side and show him the tattoo on his heart, and have him understand his feelings. He had already wasted so many years, he didn’t want to wait anymore.
But, right before he could walk through the door, the emperor called him into the palace. Through the door he could already hear Xu Yunchun’s laugh.
Xu Yunchun was laughing while telling the housekeeper: “When the young master gets back and sees the mess I left the residence in, he’ll definitely scold me. I have to clean up now, or I won’t finish in time.”
Wei Xiu smiled and followed the emperor’s order to go to the palace. He has to give Xu Yunchun some time to clean up the residence.
*
“General Wei, you fought quite brilliantly in this battle. The people have all begun to call you a ‘god of war’.”
The emperor praised from inside the palace hall.
Wei Xiu, eyes were looking to the floor: “I was simply following Your Majesty’s orders.”
The emperor smiled kindly: “You’re too modest, General Wei. Honestly, you are quite deserving of the name. Even I could not live up to a title such as ‘god of war’.”
Wei Xiu said nothing, only thinking that the northwest would likely remain suppressed for at least two year’s time, and by that time he and Xu Yunchun will be long gone.
After two years, he will have no ties to anything, only Xu Yunchun.
*
Wei Xiu accepted the awards and stopped at the military grounds on the way, intending to distribute them to the troops. But, on this short trip, he hears a few people discussing him and Xu Yunchun.
“General Wei was so eager to return. He must have been eager to get back and see Xu Yunchun.”
“Xu Yunchun? See him for what?”
“You don’t know? He’s a, you know…” the person lowered their voice, “kept man.”
“Don’t talk nonsense!”
“What nonsense? He was kept at the general’s side from a young age. The two are close, they’re together all day long…” the person lowered his voice again, “They always sleep together.”
“If that’s the case, then it must be true.”
“Everyone knows it, but we don’t mention it. You better not go gossiping about it. It’s honestly too indecent. If you do, it’ll be quite shameful!”
Wei Xiu cannot listen any further, he’s furious. He wants to go in and eliminate those two. But when he pulled out his sword, he remembered the tattoo on his chest.
Those two tattooed characters, plain evidence of his deepest desires. Even if he denied it now, as soon as he and Xu Yunchun confessed their feelings, wouldn’t it just be a testament to the rumours?
Would this world ever allow two men to be together?
Can he really just disregard Xu Yunchun’s reputation?
In a rush of excitement, he had forgotten the many obstacles of the world.
*
That day Wei Xiu returned home. Xu Yunchun was ecstatic upon seeing him and immediately jumped into his embrace.
Wei Xiu avoided it: “I have been riding for several days. I’m covered in dust, don’t touch me.”
Knowing Wei Xiu’s love of cleanliness, Xu Yunchun urged: “I have bathed already for you, young master! Come bathe, quick!”
Wei Xiu bathed in silence. But, in only a few moments, Xu Yunchun pushed open the door.
“Young master, I’m-”
“Get out! You’re forbidden from coming in!” Wei Xiu hastily covered his mouth.
Xu Yunchun couldn’t make sense of Wei Xiu’s big reaction, so he left.
Inside, Wei Xiu was panicked and upset, his whole face red. If he let Xu Yunchun see his tattoo, how would he even begin to explain it?
So foolish! Why would he get a tattoo on his chest? He must have been possessed!
*
At night, Xu Yunchun was on guard, afraid that Wei XIu might suddenly explode again: “Young master…I can sleep here, right?”
Wei Xiu is sitting on the edge of the bed, feeling conflicted.
Seeing Wei Xiu remain silent, Xu Yunchun intended to climb onto the bed. Suddenly, Wei Xiu spoke up: “From this day forward, we will sleep separately.”
“Huh?”
Xu Yunchun was at a loss. Before the young attendant could make a fuss, Wei Xiu continued: “I will eventually marry and have children. It is not appropriate for me to always sleep with you. It would be met with ridicule if word got out.”
Wei Xiu looked too serious. Xu Yunchun realized that no matter how much of a fuss he made, Wei Xiu wouldn’t give in.
So Xu Yunchun didn’t cry, he simply asked: “Are you afraid that women will not desire you, young master?”
Wei Xiu took a deep breath: “Yes. You don’t want me to be ridiculed either, right?”
Xu Yunchun thought about it for a moment: “Chunchun won’t let anyone ridicule the young master.”
With half of his body already on the bed, Xu Yunchun stood up, he evened out the wrinkles of the bed, still a bit unwilling to go: “…can’t we sleep separately a little later?”
Wei Xiu said: “I’m already 22, I should have been married long ago…who knows, I may get married at the start of spring.”
“Alright.” Xu Yunchun is irritated.
He organized his things to leave, walked to the doorway, then turned around and asked one other thing: “It’s not that the young master is abandoning Chunchun, right?”
He was trying to be calm, but his voice was quivering.
Wei Xiu turned away: “Don’t be ridiculous. Go to bed. I’m exhausted.”
Xu Yunchun stood at the door for a bit, then finally left.
Eight years ago, Wei Xiu was wishing for that crybaby to go and sleep on his own.
Eight years later, Wei Xiu’s wish came true.
*
Ever since that day, Wei Xiu did not sleep with Xu Yunchun again, nor did he bathe with him.
Wei Xiu even kept himself neatly covered, not showing even an inch of skin.
At first, Xu Yunchun wasn’t quite used to it, but he believed in his young master. Whatever his young master said, he believed.
He would even tease Wei Xiu: “Does the young master have a red virginity mark?”
Wei Xiu was stonefaced: “No.”
“Then you must have tattooed the word ‘innocence’ to your back.”
“And what if I did? How is it of any business to you?”
“Chunchun likes young master the most, of course it’s of any business to me.” Xu Yunchun said, climbing onto Wei Xiu’s back.
Wei Xiu also wanted to prevent Xu Yunchun from nuzzling into his chest, but whenever he tried to push Xu Yunchun away, the other’s desolate expression would render him without resolve.
In the end, he silently consented to Xu Yunchun continuing to climb all over him, he just wouldn’t let him scurry about for too long.
Xu Yunchun: “If the young master has a tattoo, I also want one.”
Wei Xiu, serious: “If you tattoo any words, you won’t be able to remove it for the rest of your life. Don’t be reckless about it!”
Xu Yunchun: “So what if it’s for the rest of my life? The young master adopted me, won’t that also last the rest of your life?”
