Chapter 115 – Kissed

Translator: Xena

Chen You held the parrot jade sculpture tightly in his hands and touched it. “It’s so smooth.”

He touched it for a long time, then embraced the jade carving in his arms, rolled on the ground, and happily started to bite it.

“Tastes bad, too hard.”

Sheng Qing massaged his forehead.

“Why is it cold?” Chen You leaned closer to the jade carving and hooked his finger on the parrot’s curved beak. “Not right, it’s so sharp and it’s poking me. I don’t want to touch something like this!”

He threw the jade parrot to the ground and started making a fuss.

Sheng Qing leaned against the sofa. “What kind do you want to touch?”

Chen You muttered again, “Something like Dad’s.”

Sheng Qing’s eyelids flicked up. “Oh? You want to?”

Chen You laughed hehehe. “Yes, I do. I really want to.”

He smacked his lips. His eyes were hazy, and his pale face looked as red as if it had been painted with a blush.

“I want to have a bite.”

The youth opened his mouth and made the shape of biting something.

Sheng Qing felt some pain for some reason. He paused for a breath. With a gloomy face, he sneered and said, “You’re quite brave.”

“Eh, how did you know that? Let me tell you, when I get brave, even I get scared.”

Chen You suddenly covered his mouth in fear. “Teeth, my teeth are gone!”

He looked around and kicked the parrot jade sculpture away. “Dad, a big bird is pecking me, please come save me——”

Sheng Qing: “…” I think you just deserve a peck.

He left immediately. If he stayed any longer, he would not even want the jade carving he had won at an auction, and he would pack it up and throw it out along with the person.

Chen You’s eyes kept twitching as he sat on the ground. That’s right, he sobered up.

Right when he was biting the parrot’s head with his teeth.

Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!

Damn, god knows how hard it was for him to pretend to be an idiot without being discovered.

What was even more difficult was that the big bird was right in front of him, but he had to turn a blind eye to it and couldn’t catch it.

Chen You was going crazy. “Why didn’t you wake me up when I was drunk?”

The system asked, “How?”

Chen You answered, “In whatever way possible!”

The system said, “It’s too late now, maybe next time.”

Why do I feel like you did that on purpose? Chen You felt so regretful and panicked. “My image is completely ruined.”

The system retorted, “You have an image? Since when?”

Chen You, “…”

He scratched his head and sorted out what happened tonight.

He walked on the street, ate grilled squid at a food stall, met the school grass and drank together with him.

There were no problems up to there.

Chen You took off his hairpin and buried his face in his hands. Later, he got drunk and the school grass said he would take him home.

School grass, I’m not blaming you, but if you want to send someone off, you should’ve done it quickly. Why did you dawdle on the streets? Chen You rubbed his face. And then Sheng Qing appeared.

Afterwards, haha.

I’m a little crybaby. What the hell is the point of being skilled at acting, Chen Retarded? Why don’t you just put a flying monkey behind your butt and go to heaven to play?

Chen You’s heart was pounding. It was over. Sheng Qing would definitely think he was a mentally retarded child.

The system remarked, “You scared your Daddy.”

Chen You’s face was full of sorrow. “I know.”

He then rejoiced. “Fortunately, I didn’t say any nonsense.”

System, “Mn.”

Chen You added, “Sheng Qing thought I liked to watch the animals and birds in the zoo.”

The system said, “Your Daddy is still a child at heart.”

Chen You’s lips twitched. “That’s right.”

However, with the frequency with which he courted disaster, Sheng Qing would sooner or later discover the profoundness of literature.

Well, we all have to grow up eventually.

The system suddenly said, “Do you want to know what your Daddy went to do in the study?”

Chen You answered, “I don’t want to.”

The System said back, “Can you cooperate with me for once?”

Chen You reluctantly said, “I want to.”

The system said, “After living for more than 30 years, your Daddy finally knows what it feels like to get an erection.”

Chen You remarked, “…How pitiful.”

He then was stunned. “Why is he hard?”

The system replied, “Don’t know.”

Chen You was speechless. He neither put up his hand nor put down his mouth, so this was not logical.

“Is it because the way I bit the jade carving was too charming?”

The system said, “Maybe.”

Chen You asked, “What is Sheng Qing doing now?”

The system answered, “He’s sitting in a chair, looking at his erection.”

Chen You asked again, “How about Miss Five Fingers?”

He said to himself, “I know. Sheng Qing must be quietly feeling that hardness.”

The System told him, “You might be pecked soon.”

“Don’t scare me, I’m timid.”

Chen You touched the little round head of the jade parrot, wiped off the saliva on it, and looked at the two circles of teeth marks. “I’m sorry, brother parrot, I didn’t mean it.”

He sighed. “You know, it’s a good thing I only touched you and didn’t put you in my mouth, otherwise you would have to take a shower.”

Oh my god, that scene would be really unbearable to watch. It makes me feel sorry for the jade carving just thinking about it.

Animal World was still playing on TV. The birds flew away, and lions and tigers dominated the screen.

Chen You lay dead on the floor, feeling hopeless.

The TV screen in the living room was extremely large, taking up three quarters of a wall. From his angle, he felt as if a tiger’s paw was about to hit him in the face.

His mood couldn’t get any better.

“It’s all your fault. If you had terrified me and told me not to drink too much, I would definitely not have drunk.”

Chen You became depressed. “There is also because of the school grass who said that all the food and drinks are on him.”

“You know I have no moral integrity. If someone treated me to a meal, I definitely won’t turn it down. I will eat and drink without restraint. Now I’m done for.”

The system put the school grass’ pot aside first. “Pray ba.”

Chen You then asked, “Is it useful? If I pray, will Sheng Qing forget what happened tonight?”

The System replied, “Guess.”

 Chen You, “….”

The clock struck ten, and it was time for Sheng Qing to go to bed. He came out of the study and glanced at the young man on the floor. His eyes were so wide open, he didn’t look like he was still drunk.

Sheng Qing didn’t go over, fearing that he would lose control of himself. “Have you come to?”

Chen You’s body trembled, and he climbed back up using his hands and feet. The jade carving in his arms fell and hit his foot with a thud.

Shit, it hurts so much!

Chen You cried. His big toe was broken, truly.

He took advantage of this wave of tears and said, “Dad, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have drunk so much. I was wrong.”

Sheng Qing didn’t react.

After picking up the jade carving, Chen You stood on one leg and hopped over. “Dad, jade carving.”

Sheng Qing expressionlessly said, “Take it and play with it.”

Chen You raised his head. What do you mean? Are you going to play with me? How to play with this jade carving? Is it how I think it is?

He slapped himself in his heart a few times and felt better. “Thank you, Dad.”

“Clean up the living room.”

Sheng Qing went into the bedroom after speaking.

Chen You tidied up the living room, turned off the TV and went to the guest room. He touched the parrot jade carving and looked at its head, tail, claws and beak. It was so beautiful.

After putting the jade carving on the bedside, Chen You brushed his teeth, washed his face, did a skin care program from the system, and lay on the bed to apply a facial mask which he exchanged for goodness points.

“I want a bedtime story.”

The system said, “No.”

Chen You suggested, “You have a lot of hosts under your care, pick one and tell me about them.”

The system said, “I don’t want to.”

Chen You put his hands on his stomach and the index fingers of his right and left hands circled around each other. “What about your promised love for me?”

System, “……”

“There was a host who returned to the real world after completing all the missions and lived a happy life with his princes.”

Chen You was unhappy. “That’s it?”

The system said, “That’s it.”

Chen You was suddenly startled. “You just mentioned prince, but there’s an ‘s’ after it?”

The system answered, “Yes.”

Chen You oh-ed. “The brilliance of this story lies in the imagination. I understand.”

He closed his eyes and fell asleep soon after. He had a dream.

In the dream, Sheng Qing took Chen You to see the colorful world¹Can also be translated as ‘world of sensual pleasures’, where flowers were blooming, birds were flying, and beauty was bubbling.

Then Chen You woke up.

He got up calmly, went to the bathroom to wash his butt, changed his pants and continued to sleep.

In the second half of the night, he played the room-swapping game with Sheng Qing once again.

Chen You hugged a pillow and acted like a spoiled child. “Dad, can I just sleep here?”

Sheng Qing’s tone was cold and firm. “No.”

Chen You was picked up along with his blanket and thrown to the floor.

“……”

When Chen You got up the next day, the apartment was empty and Sheng Qing didn’t even leave him a single fart.

Maybe it stayed, and then dispersed later on.

For the whole morning, his classmate, the school grass, looked constipated. He wanted to say something but stopped himself many times.

Not only that, the school grass also lied on the table tearing up scratch paper for fun, which was really abnormal.

Chen You couldn’t stand it anymore and called the person to the stairs. “If you have something to say, just say it.”

Xiao Langgou had a constipated face. Last night he called the pretty girl over and they hugged each other, even kissed.

But how should he put it? It was that normal feeling of “Oh, that’s it”, without the heart beating faster or being unable to control oneself.

The pretty girl was very excited, but Xiao Langgou had no urge to continue.

So he sent the person home in embarrassment.

Xiao Langgou spoke so fast his words seemed to be flying, “Give me a kiss.”

Chen You still heard it clearly. “No.”

“…” Xiao Langgou’s face flushed suspiciously. “I just want to figure out one thing.”

Chen You emphasized, “Still a no.”

Xiao Langgou, “…”

He gritted his teeth and suddenly lowered his head to attack.

Chen You pushed the school grass’ face. “Go away, go away.”

Xiao Langgou’s face flushed red. He felt like a filthy hooligan who was forcing himself on a beautiful girl.

He held the little crybaby’s shoulders to prevent him from moving, and growled angrily, “It’s just once, you won’t die!”

Chen You refused to kiss him.

You know what? My dad’s people are monitoring me. If they take pictures and send them to my dad, how am I going to explain it?

Chen You was distracted for a moment and was kissed.

The next moment, the person who kissed him showed an expression of great stimulation. He first pushed him away, then swayed, took two steps back, and stumbled down the stairs.

“Boom” and “bang” sounds came from the corridor.

Probably hit whatever in succession.

Chen You, “…..”

Oh, fvck, you’re bent, ai, I’m sorry.

Chen You started to worry about himself next, praying that the person monitoring him had shaky hands and had failed to take the photo so Sheng Qing would not know about it.

At noon, Chen You was called by his classmate, saying that someone was looking for him. He went out to take a look, and oh my god, Guang and Jing were there.

Chen You looked back at his deskmate’s seat. After the school grass kissed him, he hadn’t attended the last two classes in the morning.

As the class monitor, skipping classes without reason has a huge impact.

But it was understandable that going from straight to bent, the average person would have to go through a period of howling and doubting their lives.

Chen You calmed himself down and went downstairs to check on Guang and Jing.

He also did not forget to ask the system where Sheng Qing’s people were monitoring.

After knowing this, Chen You deliberately stood in that position, waiting for Sheng Guang and Sheng Jing to approach, so that the news that they came to the school to cause trouble would reach Sheng Qing.

When the time comes, it will depend on your acting skills.

Chen You thought about it and turned a corner to go to the grocery store to buy a bottle of Coke to replenish his energy.

In the company, Sheng Qing received a call. He raised his hand to order his secretary go out, and turned around in his chair to look at the photos on his phone.

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  Can also be translated as ‘world of sensual pleasures’ ↩︎