Translator: ChuRen/ YuQiChen
There are generally two ways for mortals to enter the underworld.
One is after death, where the Black and White Impermanences1I really don’t wanna type 4 words cuz I’m too lazy. So from the next chapter on, I shall use their pinyin name instead WuChang capture the soul and the Ferryman ferries them across the Naihe River, washing away all the karma from the human realm. Those who have committed severe wrongdoings are sent for punishment; those who are to be reincarnated are handed over to Meng Po, who erases their memories with her soup. They then cross the Naihe Bridge and wade through the Naihe River, ending their current life completely.
Of course, in recent years, due to the negligence of the Black and White Impermanences (actually, they went to work for Su Ling’s company), the soul-capturing process has been skipped, and now King Yama gives each departing soul an automatic locator, allowing them to return on their own.
The second way is like these students or like the ghosts caught by Su Ling before, where a certain formation or a big shot forcibly tears open the boundaries of the underworld and sends people in.
In theory, those who enter through the second method don’t need to go through so many processes. Moreover, the location of the underworld accessed by the formation is not near the Naihe River.
However, Sheng Ze, a dedicated and responsible “underworld tour guide”, couldn’t bear to let the students’ journey have any shortcomings.
So, he tirelessly led everyone in a circle, bringing them back to the Naihe River.
Sheng Ze watched the rushing waters of the Naihe River and, embodying the spirit of a serious and responsible guide, patiently explained to everyone, “Starting from here is the best, as you can almost fully experience the process of death.”
With a marketing tone that sounded like, “Come on, experience death, it’s free anyway.”
The students: …
Not interested in experiencing it, thank you!
The Ferryman was dozing off in a small boat when suddenly, he shuddered all over, feeling a strong sense of danger.
Restless, the Ferryman stepped out of the boat and immediately saw several big shots approaching him.
Meng Xiaoman and the others were actually quite low-key; many ghosts hadn’t seen their true faces. However, the Ferryman, being somewhat of an official, not only recognized these big shots but was also their direct subordinate…
Double the level of fear!
The Ferryman, with an intense desire to survive, knelt down on the ground, bowing his head, “Ghosts…”
Respected Ghost King and esteemed lords, your presence here is truly an honor for me!
That was the original line.
However, in the moment the Ferryman knelt down, Sheng Ze sent him a message: [Don’t say a word, just act as if you don’t know us.]
So, all the words the Ferryman was about to say got stuck in his throat.
Su Ling, looking confused and innocently puzzled, asked the Ferryman who was kneeling before him, “What did you just say about ghosts?”
Ferryman: “…What brings your esteemed ghosts here?”
Sheng Ze, now playing the role of a welcoming and warm tour guide, kindly asked the Ferryman, “Could you ferry us across the river?”
Trembling, the Ferryman replied, “Yes.”
Su Ling cocked his head, glanced at Sheng Ze, then back at the Ferryman, finding it odd, “Why are you kneeling to us out of nowhere?”
Ferryman: !!!
Sheng Ze immediately gave the Ferryman a warning look.
Struggling to survive, the Ferryman explained, “I lost my balance and accidentally toppled over.”
Su Ling helped the Ferryman up, showing concern, “You should take care of yourself more often, especially at your age, bones are not as resilient as when you were young. It’s quite an inconvenience to you, you’re ferrying us despite being injured…”
The Ferryman, trembling even more, stammered, “No trouble at all.”
Su Ling thoughtfully placed a pearl in the Ferryman’s hand and smiled, “Thank you, this is for your hard work.”
The Ferryman trembled even more vigorously, “I-I can’t accept this.”
Su Ling blinked, worried, “Why are you shaking so much?”
Struggling to speak, the Ferryman managed to say, “… C-cold.”
“It is quite cold.” A student rubbed the goosebumps on their arms, agreeing.
Su Ling looked surprised at the Ferryman, “You ferry souls to the underworld, they feel cold, that’s normal. After so many years, you still haven’t gotten used to it?”
Ferryman: … remained silent.
Su Ling, showing great empathy, suggested, “With osteoporosis and being sensitive to the cold, ferrying souls must be quite difficult for you. Why don’t you talk to King Yama and ask for a more leisurely position to retire?”
The Ferryman was on the verge of tears—please, don’t say these things in front of these leaders!
If this continues, I really will have to retire!
However, with only one boat available at the Naihe River, in the end, the Ferryman, with trembling hands, slowly started the engine…
The Ferryman gripped the steering wheel, standing confidently.
With his entire posture, he was showing Sheng Ze and the others that he was still young and capable, truly QAQ!
Although the boat looked small from the outside, once inside, they realized the space was expandable. Excited to be in the underworld for the first time, the students ran back and forth, exploring every decoration.
“It’s similar to the boats in the mortal realm!”
Being young, the students were very adaptable, already well-adjusted to the “underworld day trip”, feeling no nervousness.
“It’s quite similar indeed, as the underworld also needs to keep up with the times,” Su Ling explained cheerfully. “But there are many differences as well… like that tattered turtle shell in your hand, which is actually from the Yin-Shang period.”
The student almost dropped the turtle shell in shock.
Carefully placing the turtle shell back in its place, he wiped the sweat off his forehead, relieved, and was about to lean on the nearby wooden railing.
“Be careful, that was embedded during the Tang Dynasty, it might not withstand your weight,” Su Ling warned.
The student silently retracted his hand, deciding to stand still like a harmless sculpture.
With the fear of accidentally damaging antiques, the students finally reached the other side of the Naihe River.
As they arrived, Tour Guide Sheng Ze mysteriously produced a small red flag, holding it high and calling out, “Next stop is the Judgment Platform, where one’s good and bad deeds are evaluated after death. Hmm, since none of you are spirits, unfortunately, we can’t have you experience this process.”
Students: Couldn’t ask for more!
“But, we can still take a look,” Sheng Ze suddenly changed his tone.
He stepped aside, creating space, and the students saw a line of souls waiting to be called.
When called, a person dressed like a scholar would step forward, holding a stone and meticulously recounting the sins and virtues of their lifetime. There were about seven or eight of these scholars—due to a certain special circumstance, the judges were negligent, so they had to be replaced by temporary stand-ins.
Hearing the commotion, the souls in line turned curiously. Many of them showed surprise in their eyes when they saw this lively group of students.
The scholars also glanced over, then stood there in shock.
The scholars kneeling on the platform all together exclaimed, “Congratulations, Judge…”
—Congratulations, Judge, on your return, we can finally stop working, oh yeah!
Of course, they couldn’t finish that sentence either.
After receiving a message from the Judge, the scholars’ faces looked like they were constipated, unsure whether to remain kneeling or stand up.
Especially enduring Su Ling’s serious inquiry in his curious baby-like manner, “Congratulations on what? Why are you all kneeling?”
Amidst the awkward silence, one scholar cleverly responded, “Congratulations to Pangu for creating the world for ten thousand years. We are deeply grateful and bow in respect.”
“Oh…” Su Ling scratched his head, thought for a moment, then bent down and bowed towards the west.
Not far away, Meng Xiaoman sighed while looking at the innocent-looking Su Ling, “I can’t help but feel a bit guilty.”
Shi Kongzang nodded, “I feel a bit guilty too.”
Chang Bai pondered for a moment and said, “Why don’t we take this opportunity to come clean?”
“No.” Before anyone else could speak, Sheng Ze immediately vetoed the idea.
Although Shi Kongzang also thought it wasn’t a good idea, he couldn’t help but ask, “Why not?”
Sheng Ze gave him a meaningful glance without saying a word, and instead motioned to Su Ling.
“I’m asking you, tell the truth.” Sheng Ze mysteriously lowered his voice and said, “What do you think the Judge is like?”
Su Ling gave him a “are you kidding me” look, “How am I supposed to answer that in this place?”
“He can’t hear us, only we can hear each other here,” Sheng Ze thought for a moment and found a ready-made excuse, “We don’t know much about this, in case we meet the Judge and others, it’s good to be mentally prepared.”
After thinking it over, Su Ling nodded, “Okay, but you can’t tell anyone else!”
The ghosts all nodded in agreement.
Su Ling lowered his voice, “The Judge is just a bookworm.”
Wu Pan clutched his heart tightly, sadly taking two steps back.
Misinterpreting his expression, Su Ling hurriedly added, “Not like you, Judge’s level of bookworm… stubborn as an ox, you know? Not like your cute kind of bookworm, but the kind that makes you feel exhausted after every sentence he says.”
Wu Pan: … That sounds even more heart-wrenching.
“Ksitigarbha,” Sheng Ze asked.
Su Ling pursed his lips, not too pleased, “Stingy.”
“What about the Black and White Impermanences?”
“One with a deadpan face, the other with a smiling facade.”
“And Meng Po?”
“A skilled gossip, if you ever run into her, don’t agree to drink her soup!”
Su Ling glanced at Meng Xiaoman and muttered, “But in a way, she does resemble Meng Xiaoman…”
Sheng Ze timely changed the topic, not intending to continue further.
However, Shi Kongzang, Meng Xiaoman, and the other ghosts all spoke up in unison, “What about the Ghost King?”
Su Ling pursed his lips, showing a slightly worshipful and admiring expression, whispering, “If you happen to meet the Ghost King, could you get me an autograph? Although the Ghost King is quite friendly, this behavior is too fanatical, and I’ve always felt embarrassed…”
Meng Xiaoman and others: … Furious!
And they kicked over the dog bowl.
“In any case, if you encounter the Judge, the Black and White Impermanences, Meng Po, or Ksitigarbha,” Su Ling spoke solemnly, “the farther you can stay away, the better. Among these important figures, the only one you can observe up close without danger, besides King Yama, is the Ghost King.”
Meng Xiaoman and others: ???
Boss, your thinking is way off base, do you realize that?
The misunderstandings here are just too much!
Satisfied with the answers, Sheng Ze let Su Ling go find the students. Then he turned to the ghosts, shrugged, and asked, “Anyone still want to confess their identity?”
“Screw confessing! My conscience suddenly doesn’t hurt anymore, not only that, I feel like I have such a good temper now!” Shi Kongzang exclaimed angrily.
“Whoever wants to confess can do so, but be clear, you can only speak for yourself, no revealing identities,” Meng Xiaoman coldly hummed.
“We never said we weren’t impermanences, but the boss didn’t ask either, right?” Chang Bai innocently spread his hands and concluded, “So, we’re not really deceiving anyone.”
“You can’t forget our company’s principles,” Wu Pan reminded them. “We agreed before, working is fine, but we must adhere to the twelve-word policy—”
“The boss charges in!” The ghosts exclaimed together.
“What else?”
“Employees just eat, drink, and wait to die!”
Wu Pan clapped his hands, then spread them out, “There you have it, so we mustn’t reveal ourselves. If there are any little or big ghosts who know you, go and inform them quickly, we can’t afford any more misunderstandings like before!”
With Wu Pan’s words, the strategy for all the big shot ghosts was set.
Only Sheng Ze, looking speechless, said, “Forgive my boldness, but does your boss even know about this wise twelve-word policy?”
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