Chapter 3 – Be good, don’t misplace your head.

Editor: Xinghe

Translator: ChuRen/ YuQiChen

At eleven o’clock at night, the old house of the Fan family was brightly lit with candles. The Fan family’s descendants were all dressed in mourning clothes, quietly surrounding the urn, silently keeping watch through the night.

Whether it was an illusion or not, at ten minutes to midnight, a cold wind blew through the memorial hall, causing the candlelight to flicker, casting an eerie glow on the black and white photograph.

Fan Ziqi shivered, feeling goosebumps on his body, tightly clutching the protective amulet he had purchased.

“Wh—why is it so cold?” whispered his cousin beside him, moving slightly.

Cold?

In the summer night, Fan Ziqi was almost sweating from the heat.

“I’m cold too,” murmured his younger cousin, “I always feel that the old house is eerie.”

“Maybe it’s because we’re in the suburbs, the temperature here is lower than in the city, don’t think too much about it,” whispered his cousin, trying to comfort either himself or his younger cousin.

Fan Ziqi’s hand holding the prayer beads was sweaty, partly due to the heat and partly due to fear.

However, everyone felt cold except him, who felt hot. What did this indicate?

Fan Ziqi looked down at the protective amulet, feeling relieved.

Finally, it was almost midnight, and the temperature in the memorial hall seemed to have dropped significantly.

His younger cousin couldn’t help but take out a large shawl from her bag, wrapping it around herself and even shivering. “Why do I feel like it’s getting colder?”

His cousin “shh”ed her, whispering, “Stop talking.”

She hesitated for a moment but couldn’t help herself, leaning over to ask Fan Ziqi, “Cousin, do you think this old house is not very clean?”

Fan Ziqi didn’t dare to nod. Just as he was about to stop his younger cousin from talking nonsense, before he could say a word, he saw his cousin’s face suddenly change, her eyes staring fearfully behind him.

“H-How did the p-photo change like this…” his cousin said with a trembling voice.

Fan Ziqi turned around to take a look and was instantly half scared to death—on the photo, his uncle who was originally smiling, was now looking at them expressionlessly, blood slowly seeping from his eyes, under his nose and at the corners of his mouth.

Thick, blood-red liquid flowed down the photo, forming a small dark red bloodstain on the ground.

Real blood flowing from the seven facial orifices.

“Ahh—!”

Fan Ziqi was halfway through his scream when suddenly, grayish dead faces appeared on the ground.

Each face resembled his uncle, eyes staring fixedly at them, blood starting to flow as they wailed, “It hurts… It’s so uncomfortable…”

A thick mist of blood covered the ground. Within the mist, hundreds of dead faces tumbled around, wailing and howling like ghosts.

Instinctively, Fan Ziqi jumped onto a chair, clutching his protective amulet, tears and snot streaming down his face as he began to pray, “Buddha, Guanyin Bodhisattva, Jesus, God, save me!”

To avoid startling the evil spirits, Su Ling and the others waited outside the old house this time.

Upon hearing the ghostly wails from inside, Su Ling shuddered and immediately ran in, exclaiming, “Oh no, it’s a hundred wailing ghosts!”

Upon entering the house, they saw that while yesterday there were only a few dozen souls in the memorial hall, tonight, the entire hall was densely packed with evil spirits, numbering at least a hundred!

Fan Ziqi, protected by the amulet, was relatively unscathed, but most of the Fan family members were surrounded by several evil spirits, often getting attacked by one as soon as they dealt with another.

Standing behind Su Ling, Shi Kongzang took a quick look, then swiftly withdrew his head, exclaiming, “Oh my, they’re evil ghosts! And there are two of them! I knew it, how could a mere ghost from a photo exude such strong malevolence?”

Su Ling sighed, “Stop talking nonsense and think of a way to deal with this.”

Shi Kongzang raised his palm, saying, “Amitabha, I am a monk, I do not harm living beings.”

Su Ling gave him a cool look.

Shi Kongzang quickly added, “I also do not kill ghosts.”

Sheng Ze glanced at Shi Kongzang acting all innocent, raised the corner of his mouth, rolled up his sleeves, and said, “Let me handle this.”

Su Ling quickly held him back, sternly saying, “What do you mean ‘handle this’? Are you looking for death?”

Clearly, he was being underestimated.

Sheng Ze’s sleeve-rolling motion hesitated, he opened his mouth, then suddenly realized he shouldn’t start explaining from there.

Su Ling gritted his teeth, swiftly moved forward, and rescued a member of the Fan family from the mouth of an evil spirit.

Among the hundreds of evil spirits, the most troublesome were those two evil ghosts. Their grudges were much heavier than ordinary evil spirits, their obsessions from life unfulfilled, thus their souls could not disperse—hence they were undying and indestructible, and could only be imprisoned.

Su Ling found those two evil ghosts among the evil spirits and with a swift motion, he threw a thunder-attracting talisman at them, exclaiming, “Heavenly Thunder echoing faintly, striking alongside the dragon¹Okay guys admittedly Idk how to phrase this so if yall have a different chant, pls help!!!”

A heavenly thunderbolt struck the evil ghosts, but instead of harming them, it only enraged the two spirits.

The blood-red malevolent aura on the spirits instantly doubled and grew, with streams of bloody mist baring their fangs and claws, pouncing towards Su Ling.

The bloody mist seemed about to engulf Su Ling, proving resilient to attacks. In a moment of desperation, Su Ling picked up his exorcism sword, unsheathed it, and swung it forward without hesitation.

In an instant, an earth-shattering dazzling sword light swept across the entire memorial hall.

Wherever the sword light reached, the evil spirits were all completely obliterated.

As for the legendary undying evil ghosts, they turned into ghost dolls of about a foot tall, trembling in a corner.

—The memorial hall was empty in an instant.

Su Ling: Damn!

Shi Kongzang: Damn!

Fan Ziqi and the other Fan family members, scared out of their wits: Damn!!!

Sheng Ze, who was about to step in and save the day: … Quietly stepped back, continuing to feign innocence.

Fan Ziqi let out a breath, dumbfoundedly asked Su Ling, “What move was that?”

Su Ling looked at the unremarkable sword in his hand, then at Fan Ziqi’s admiring expression, cleared his throat, and proclaimed solemnly, “This is the legendary… Hundred Ghosts Slash!”

Fan Ziqi was truly clueless.

After ridding the place of evil spirits, Su Ling and the others sealed the two evil ghosts in a special bottle before bidding farewell to Fan Ziqi.

Fan Ziqi generously and promptly paid for their services, also giving Su Ling and his team each a generous red envelope.

Judging by the thickness, it contained at least four digits.

Once out of Fan Ziqi’s sight, Su Ling and Shi Kongzang huddled together, marvelling at the exorcism sword.

“Boss, after buying so many things, this time was the only one that wasn’t a loss,” Shi Kongzang sighed.

Su Ling’s hands trembled with excitement as he held the exorcism sword, “Did you see that? Just one strike and all those ghosts were gone! All of them!”

All that talk about the Hundred Ghosts Slash and such was just to fool Fan Ziqi, a layman. Su Ling knew it had nothing to do with him; it was solely the power of the sword.

“However, Boss, why do I feel like the patterns on this sword aren’t as they were before?” Shi Kongzang questioned suspiciously.

“Is that so…” Su Ling, after hearing this, also felt that something was off.

Sheng Ze squinted his eyes and interjected, “How can the patterns already engraved on it change? You guys probably just remembered wrong.”

“Well, that might be it. We must have remembered it incorrectly,” Su Ling scratched the back of his head.

Shi Kongzang raised an eyebrow without commenting, casting a meaningful look towards Sheng Ze.

Sheng Ze, the instigator, calmly met his gaze without flinching.

Shi Kongzang: …

Su Ling and Sheng Ze, in perfect harmony, sat back to back on the small electric scooter.

Shi Kongzang pointed at himself, who was left out, innocently asking, “What about me?”

Su Ling pointed at the red envelope in his hand, “Be good, take a taxi back by yourself.”

Shi Kongzang smiled wryly, “This is the outskirts, and it’s midnight! Which taxi driver would dare to take a fare?”

This morning, Fan Ziqi had given him a ride back. But tonight, Fan Ziqi was staying at the old house, so he couldn’t bring himself to ask for another ride.

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I believe in you. Just keep trying to hail a taxi and someone will pick you up!” Su Ling encouraged with a fist pump. Then, he patted Sheng Ze’s waist and swiftly departed.

Shi Kongzang: … Is this how that proverb is supposed to be used?!

After waiting for a while in the night breeze, Shi Kongzang finally caught a bus.

There were only a few scattered passengers on the bus, all unusually quiet, with their heads drooping as if they were dozing off.

Once Shi Kongzang boarded, the driver gave him a faint glance, then started the bus without saying a word.

Shi Kongzang casually took a window seat, looking calm as if he hadn’t noticed the bloodstains on the seat.

The bus silently moved along for a while when suddenly, the long-haired girl sitting in front of Shi Kongzang turned around and gave him a “friendly” smile.

Shi Kongzang replied with a friendly smile, saying “Amitabha.”

A handsome man and a beautiful woman, it seemed like love at first sight.

What a harmonious and beautiful scene!

If you ignore the long, extended tongue on the female ghost’s face and the eyes with only the whites left.

The female ghost, seeing that he wasn’t scared, scratched her head in confusion, looked at him, then turned her head back.

After a while, a programmer came to Shi Kongzang’s side.

The programmer locked eyes with him for three seconds, then suddenly smiled strangely, shook the head on his shoulders, and it fell off like a watermelon.

Shi Kongzang calmly held onto the head, extended his hand, and helped the programmer put the head back on. Then, he very kindly patted the programmer’s shoulder and lovingly said, “Be good, don’t misplace your head.”

The programmer was stunned for a moment, then floated back to his original position.

Suddenly, the bus made an unpleasant screeching noise, and the back door of the bus opened with a “creak,” as if trying to kick Shi Kongzang off.

“Oh? You’re kicking me out already?” Shi Kongzang shook his head and said, “It’s late, and I can’t find a taxi. So I’ll trouble this gentleman to give me a ride. My home is at xxx Street, No. xxx, thank you.”

The driver turned around, his eyes filled with contempt, as if mocking—why should he?

Shi Kongzang sighed leisurely, full of compassion, “I’m not negotiating with you all, but threatening.”

As soon as he said this, all the ghosts on the bus turned back, roaring and showing their sharp teeth at Shi Kongzang.

Shi Kongzang lowered his eyes slightly, palms together, looking at them with a compassionate gaze like a living Bodhisattva, “May Buddha be merciful. If you all refuse to give me a ride, then I will have to take action.”

The female ghost and the programmer roared, and ten black sharp nails grew out of their fingers, about to stab Shi Kongzang.

But in the end, the driver suddenly spoke up and stopped them, “Stop!”

The driver looked at Shi Kongzang, eyes full of fear, unable to believe, “You, you’re Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva²Kṣitigarbha is known for his vow to take responsibility for the instruction of all beings in the six worlds between the death of Gautama Buddha and the rise of Maitreya, as well as his vow not to achieve Buddhahood until all hells are emptied.?!”

【Today’s Monk Type Mini Theater】

Shi Kongzang, wearing a helmet and with dozens of talismans around his waist: The last ghost who dared to provoke me is now in the eighteenth level of hell.

The ghosts: Hehe.

Then, Shi Kongzang took off his robe, and the Buddha’s light on his body almost blinded the ghosts.

The terrified ghosts: … Oh my god!

Shi Kongzang raised his hand, effortlessly turning the evil spirit into a black ball, then said, “Amitabha, I do not kill ghosts.”

The terrified ghosts completely collapsed: … You don’t kill ghosts, but you eat them! Eat them!!!

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• 1
  Okay guys admittedly Idk how to phrase this so if yall have a different chant, pls help!!
• 2
  Kṣitigarbha is known for his vow to take responsibility for the instruction of all beings in the six worlds between the death of Gautama Buddha and the rise of Maitreya, as well as his vow not to achieve Buddhahood until all hells are emptied.