Chapter 6.2

“This can’t be solved with an apology.” That was true. “How long have you liked me?” Endo asked monotonously. It appeared he had already entered his sadistic bullying mode.

“This again…”

“Well, I vaguely figured it out when you quit your old job and came with me here.”

“Huh?” Kodai said because of the way he said it like it was no big deal. “What, so you knew?”

“I mean, who would quit such a famous store to work in the countryside?”

“Th- That’s because it would have been impossible for you to run a store by yourself with your personality. Even Yashiro was worried.”

“That guy said that he was tired of watching you get power-tripped by Anzai and wanted me to look after you as well.”

“Ah, yes.”

“That was definitely a lie. You look helpless but actually, you’re quite strong-willed.”

“Eh?”

“You have a steel mental state that can deal with any type of person. You even had Anzai in the palm of your hand, didn’t you?”

“‘Dealing with someone,’ ‘in the palm of my hand,’ those sound so rude.”

Despite saying that, he had faltered internally at the way he had been seen right through. Anzai was generally detested by his juniors, but Kodai was empathetic and couldn’t hate him. He never intended to treat anyone with disrespect, but it was true that in order to not make himself feel uncomfortable, he always maintained a moderate distance from him and was appropriately friendly in a superficial manner.

“It’s hard to imagine such a person would go out of his way to come to a place like this.” Endo blankly stared at Kodai. “You must really love me.”

“No… Well.. Umm…. Just kill me now…” 

Kodai held his head in his hands.

 He couldn’t bear to be ridiculed on top of having his feelings exposed. What kind of mistake did I make in my past life?

“That doesn’t mean you can kiss me like that.”

“I already got that. You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry.”

Endo calmly rose from the sofa. “Are you truly sorry?”

As he drew closer, Kodai instinctively stood up. “I am, from the bottom of my heart.”

“Then, shall we take it from zero?”

“Ummmm, zero…?”

Kodai didn’t completely understand but did he mean to pretend nothing happened? So, to continue working at Citron together as usual?

As Kodai tried to wrap his head around what he meant, Endo got closer and closer. To keep an appropriate distance, Kodai slowly walked backwards with his legs still numb from kneeling. But, in such a tight living room, his back immediately hit the door.

“En-chan, what’s wrong? Ah, do you need the bathroom?”

“Just shut up.”

“But, at this rate, I’ll…”

Just as he was about to say, ‘run into the door,’ Endo sighed against Kodai’s eyelid.

“Eh, wai-”

His lips were blocked and the veins in his head felt like they were going to burst with his violent heartbeats.

“Wa-”

He didn’t understand what was happening. When he tried to move his lips to speak, a large hand grabbed his chin and snatched away his words. What is this? Am I being kissed by En-chan?

After being kissed like his soul was being sucked out, their lips separated with a moist sound.

At their close distance, Endo was glaring angrily at Kodai.

“Wh… What?”

“I did it first. I don’t count that half-assed kiss.”

“I don’t…”

I don’t understand. He muttered in a hoarse voice and sank to his knees.

“Don’t be so shocked you fall down.”

“No, my legs are numb from kneeling….” Well, both were true.

Endo crouched down in front of him and pressed down on the top of Kodai’s foot with his finger.

“Ow- Stop! No, what was that just now, En-chan?! Why did you k- kiss me?”

“Can’t I kiss what’s mine?”

“‘Mine’… So, you like me too?”

“You could say that,” he said, his face unchanging.

“Huh? What does that mean? Why?”

“You should’ve gotten it when I let you come with me to my hometown.”

“I don’t get it! What is that?! If so, you should’ve told me before inviting me here!”

“What if you rejected me?”

“Huh?”

“Do you think I have an endless stream of confidence?”

Kodai’s words stuck in his throat after being asked such an unexpected question.

Endo stared at Kodai, his facial expression not changing one bit.

Before, he had thought that expression was that of exasperation or contempt.

But, in actuality, it might have been Endo being unsure of what expression to make.

“Wait. Allow me to organise my thoughts. En-chan, you like me?”

“Yeah,” he agreed casually and Kodai felt like he was going to vomit his heart out of his chest.

“Since when?”

Endo thought for a beat then replied resolutely, “Pretty much from the start.”

“…The start?”

“You were so friendly and smiley, even sucking up to such an unlikeable person like Anzai, I thought, ‘what is with this guy?’” 

“No, wait, isn’t that different from liking? You’re just dissing me, aren’t you?”

“I realised that this guy who got along with everyone especially liked me…”

“Wait, wait, why? When did you realise?”

“It was written all over your face.”

“No way…”

Kodai covered his face with his hands. He was trying so hard to hide it. But, since Yashiro figured it out too, was his defence covered in holes?

“If you knew, you should’ve said something.”

“Why should I have to say something?”

Huh, he thought after hearing his blunt answer. I have to confess, but he has to kiss me. What’s with these selfish rules?

Kodai ruffled his hair. “What’s with that? Weren’t you wasting my time?”

“Wasting?”

“I mean, you knew we liked each other, but you never tried to hang out after work or line up our off days so we could meet up.”

“Couldn’t be bothered.”

“….Oi, so you were lying, huh?” Kodai pouted. Endo stared back at him.

Kodai’s heartbeat sped up from his stare.

“Even if I didn’t go out of my way to hang out outside of work, it didn’t change the fact that you were always mine.”

Kodai slumped over from his hunched position against the door and laid on his back facing the ceiling.

What is with this guy?

It’s the worst.

Being like this, I feel great.

“Give me back my five years of unrequited love.”

“When you’re in love, that’s the most fun part.”

“That did not sound like something you’d say, En-chan.”

“Stop calling me En-chan.”

Kodai glared at Endo from the floor.

“Why?! If we like each other, shouldn’t pet names be a given??”

“It’s misleading.”

“Huh?”

“You’re going to be Endo too one day so don’t call me by my last name; use my first name instead.”

Kodai startled and averted his gaze.

“…Wait a second. So, that’s why you’ve been telling me not to call you En-chan?”

“Yeah.”

‘Yeah,’ he says….

Kodai felt like sinking into the hard floor.

Was all my desperation all for naught?

“Whatever, I’ll still call you En-chan. It’s simple and I like it more anyway. And even if I become Endo one day, you can just call me by my first name.” He smiled smugly at his excellent idea. Kodai was prepared to defend himself when Endo undoubtedly argued back.

“Okay. Kodai.”

However, when he accepted it lightly and said his first name in a low voice for the first time, Kodai felt uncontrollably fidgety.

“Ah, sorry, you can go back to calling me by my last name.”

“Why? You just told me to call you by your first.”

“I did but it’s kinda…”

Just yesterday, he had felt like his life was desperately over but now, a day later, he was receiving too much. His body nor his heart couldn’t catch up.

Endo bent over and extended a hand towards him so Kodai’s heart sped up thinking he was going to help him off the floor like a prince.

However, he used that hand to pin Kodai’s body onto the floor and he loomed over him.

“Eh, wai- wait a second, En-chan, you’re too close!”

“I’m trying to get closer to you so of course I’m close.”

“Ahh, wait, what are you…”

“What do you mean, there’s only one thing to do in situations like this.”

“Wait, this progression is too fast for me! At least give me time to calmly digest. We haven’t even gone out together other than eating.”

“Shut up for a second,” Endo said and kissed Kodai’s lips.

Usually, people close their eyes but Kodai was so amazed his eyes remained wide open.

He knew this. A yukadon¹Like a kabedon, except pinning someone on the floor instead of a wall. Pretty much the position they’re in now then ‘shutting them up by kissing them.’ He had seen it thousands of times in dramas.

He would have never imagined he would end up in such a situation himself. And with Endo at that.

Endo pried open his teeth with his tongue and Kodai unconsciously arched his back. His timidly extended tongue was intertwined with his and Kodai couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore; he shut his eyelids tightly.

He couldn’t believe it. He would have never imagined a day would come when he would be kissed by Endo like this.

He was used to being treated unkindly every day, and he always tried to ease those situations by joking, so he never imagined such a situation.

He didn’t know what to do, his heart was beating out of his chest.

“…Nngh.”

After passionately kissing Kodai’s lips, Endo’s lips slid past his chin towards his neck. At the same time, he pushed his dry palms underneath the hem of his shirt.

“Ah…” Kodai’s voice cracked at the stimulation he had never experienced before.

Endo stopped his movements and whispered, “Stop making such erotic sounds.”

“So- sorry.”

After apologising instinctively, Kodai quickly turned the situation back. “…Well, I think anyone would make those kinds of sounds in this type of situation.”

Endo drew his face near and fixed Kodai with a glare. “Do you have experience making those sounds?”

“Uh, well…”

“Are you trying to agitate me by talking like a veteran?”

Endo bit down on his neck, causing both Kodai’s spine to shiver and him to feebly push against Endo’s chest.

“I’m not, I’m not! I’m just assuming! Ya…”

Endo bit him gently from the back of his neck to his collarbone as if trying to leave a mark and an alluring fire lit throughout his body.

“En-chan…. Ah…”

“This is in the way.”

Endo sat up and violently pulled Kodai’s hooded parka from his head as well as the shirt underneath. The electricity pouring through his body turned into a somewhat enticing feeling.

Endo usually didn’t change his expression, no matter the circumstance. His beautiful face always looked sour—even when he smiled, he only lifted the corners of his mouth.

Seeing the faint sensuality in Endo’s eyes, Kodai almost felt the climax of his heart with just that alone.

This is like a dream come true.

But, because he had only thought of it like a dream until now, he felt more scared than happy. 

Was it really okay for something like this to happen? Did Endo really mean it when he said he liked him?

Could it be that, while waiting outside for Kodai, he went to the vending machine to buy a drink and his favourite coffee was sold out so he bought something he wasn’t accustomed to and its ingredients caused him to want to fuck anyone he saw?

…. That probably wasn’t it.

–

T/N

🙂

also, some quick updates for me. school is ramping up so idk next update may be late

also from the 4th of September to the 15th, there will likely be no updates. that’s because of exams + me going away

AFTER THAT THO I will be on holidays so hopefully I can finish the novel after 😀

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  Like a kabedon, except pinning someone on the floor instead of a wall. Pretty much the position they’re in now