Chapter 3 – Kiss

Edited by: umamin

Fu An blocked the doorway. If Qi Qianze wanted to leave, he would have to go through him.

Qi Qianze asked, “Is there anything else?”

Fu An: “There isn’t.”

“Oh, then excuse me.”

This was Qi Qianze many years after the time when they had been together. Even though, in his heart, he had many words to say, none of it showed on his placid expression, as if he was facing a stranger.

No, actually, he would be friendlier towards most strangers.

Fu An took a step backward to stand right in the middle of the doorway, with an expression of “just try to pass me” on his face, smiling darkly.

Just judging from outer appearances, it looked like Qi Qianze had somehow slighted him and he was here to seek revenge.

Qi Qianze didn’t speak, simply standing in place and looking at him.

“You really are heartless,” Fu An said after a while. “We haven’t seen each other in so long, yet you have this attitude?”

“It seems that there wasn’t enough wasabi, why couldn’t it just choke you to death?”

“I don’t know, you go ask the wasabi yourself.”

Qi Qianze really outdid himself – as it turned out, there was also an occasion where he could speak like this.

Before, he had always been suppressed by Fu An to the point that he didn’t have anything to say, and in the end he would remain silent. Throughout the years, he had only ever argued with Fu An twice. Once on the day they broke up, and once now.

Fu An smiled, suddenly softening his voice, “You really have a quick tongue, Qi Qianze, did you get another boyfriend or girlfriend? Was it them who taught you how to speak like this?”

Without waiting for an answer, he added, “They must be truly amazing, let me see…… Ah, I spent fifteen years and wasn’t able to get through your head, but it turns out that there‘s a person who managed to do it in less than three. Telling me to ask the wasabi, can you speak to wasabi, Qi Qianze?”

Fu An mused: “I really want to meet your current partner.”

His words were a complete mess, but Qi Qianze knew that this was Fu An when he was angry.

“Fu An.” Qi Qianze called his name, and in a flash, Fu An cleared all the emotion from his face.

“You’re angry,” Qi Qianze observed.

“So you can tell?”

Fu An was expressionless, as if Qi Qianze hadn’t called his name at all. But that— was much better than the cold smile from earlier.

Fu An asked, “Then do you know why I’m angry?”

Qi Qianze didn’t know.

It wasn’t just that they hadn’t seen each other for so long. Even if it was just like before, when they had spent every day together, the big blockhead Qi Qianze had never been able to tell what Fu An was thinking. He could only sense a few of the changes in Fu An’s mood, but that was only because Fu An had had no intentions of hiding his emotions and had wanted Qi Qianze to know them.

Fu An had once thought that the phrase “steel straight man” was custom made to describe Qi Qianze. He had also felt that it was impossible for Qi Qianze to accept his confession. Qi Qianze probably didn’t even like men.

But in fact, Qi Qianze actually was bent. He was very competent in bed, and could get hard.

Fu An had once, for a moment, had believed that he was loved.

But later he’d found out that it had probably been a mere physiological reaction.

Nevermind.

They should go their separate ways¹Lit. Bridge returns to bridge, road returns to road — essentially that they shouldn’t have anything to do with each other anymore.

Fu An suddenly lost interest, feeling that his actions were ridiculous. Hadn’t they already been separated for three years? Why did they need to get entangled together again?

So meaningless. It was already impossible for them to be together again.

He secretly sighed, stepped out of the doorway, and said, “Forget it, you can go.”

Caught off guard, Qi Qianze was stunned.

Fu An really let him go.

In front of Qi Qianze, there was a wide open doorway, inanimate and apathetic. To the side, was the conceding, ice-cold Fu An.

If Qi Qianze were to go forwards, the former would let him leave, but the latter……

Qi Qianze looked at Fu An with slightly swollen eyes, feeling that Fu An was very difficult to endure. He was a lethal poison, was an executioner that stabbed hearts, was the one who had tightly bound him, was the demon that grew happier and happier the more he struggled in vain.

But he was still just Fu An.

The Fu An that he’d looked for for so long.

After he finally appeared in front of him, would Qi Qianze simply let him run away?

No, of course not.

Qi Qianze suddenly moved. He stepped over, lips pressed tightly together, appearing very serious and dedicated.

Fu An lowered his eyes, the prideful light gone from within them. His usual arrogant bearing now seemed listless and lonely. Then, his eyes suddenly widened, because his wrist was tightly grasped by a hand damp from being washed moments ago. 

“Qi Qianze, what are you doing? Let go–––”

“I won’t let go.”

Qi Qianze really was different from before. Perhaps it was that the wasabi choked a new personality into him—now he would go against Fu An in everything.

Fu An was pulled along, stupefied. He could only see Qi Qianze’s back, could only hear his quiet voice.

“Fu An,” Qi Qianze said.

Fu An’s heart moved.

“You once told me I couldn’t get rid of you. You were right.”

Fu An was dragged into the elevator. Despite being in such a large restaurant, the elevator was actually deserted at that time. Qi Qianze smoothly took him to the basement. Only once Qi Qianze unlocked the car door with his keys and the chime sounded did Fu An react, fiercely tugging at his hand.

“Qi Qianze, what are you doing?”

Embarrassingly, Fu An couldn’t pull his hand away at all.

Now, Fu An actually felt a little bit of fear. Qi Qianze had never gone to such extremes. Even on the day they broke up, when Qi Qianze was the most emotionally unstable he’d ever been, he had never treated Fu An like this.

“Qi Qianze!” Fu An furiously yanked at his own hand, with such force that his wrist made popping sounds.

Qi Qianze finally stopped walking.

Fu An tugged at his hand, still unable to pull it free. He took a deep breath, and said, all in a rush, “I shouldn’t have come out today, I shouldn’t have heard wasabi and thought of you, and I shouldn’t have come running because I heard your name. I’m the one who trapped you, I’m the one who had wishful thoughts, I’m the selfish one, I’m the one who let you down, just hate me and let it be.”

“So now, are you going to murder me and throw away the corpse?”

Even his apology seemed like it was full of sarcasm.

Qi Qianze turned and looked at him.

Only then did Fu An realize that he was panting and that his heart was racing. It wasn’t out of passion, but out of fear.

He had never seen Qi Qianze like this. Never.

“It was my fault, I also shouldn’t have gone to the bathroom to block you.”

Fu An was just the type of person who was fierce and unreasonable on the surface, always unable to speak his true thoughts. Really, he had just wanted to look at Qi Qianze for a little while longer, but when they had come face to face, he had said disagreeable words and worn a mocking expression.

It was because of this very reason that Qi Qianze had never liked him.

Fu An lowered his head and let out a breath, feeling ridiculous. Just moments before, he’d clearly hated the thought of Qi Qianze finding a new love, but now he just wanted to give up. 

In those few years, Fu An had finally also changed. He was no longer that willful, bad child. He said, “Don’t do this, you don’t need to do this. Just act as if you hadn’t seen me today. I shouldn’t have come and disturbed you, I…… what are you doing?!”

Qi Qianze didn’t wait for him to finish, and continued pulling him along. They were ten steps away from Qi Qianze’s car—those ten steps filled Fu An with dread.

Fu An couldn’t tell exactly why he was afraid. He’d already experienced so many frightening things. Even when performing surgery, cutting through skin and flesh, he was never afraid, but now he faltered.

It might be because he no longer dared to blight the person in front of him ever again, nor did he dare to force Qi Qianze to like him.

Then why did you still show up in front of him?

Fu An asked himself, cursed, damn it.

“Qi Qianze, this is it for us, it’s best for us to never meet again, you––”

They reached the car.

Qi Qianze stopped and pulled Fu An into the space between himself and the car. His actions were seamless, as if he’d rehearsed this scene countless times in his mind. It was so quick Fu An couldn’t react.

Fu An’s shoulders were firmly restrained, and he was pressed tightly against the car door. For a split second, he thought, Isn’t the car door dirty? Immediately afterwards, he could no longer see a single bit of light.

Because Qi Qianze had lowered his head, and kissed Fu An.

• 1
  Lit. Bridge returns to bridge, road returns to road — essentially that they shouldn’t have anything to do with each other anymore