Chapter 28 – Don’t leave me

Unedited atm, please forgive me if the English gets wacky QAQ

Content warning: descriptions of car crash & loss of life

Translator: nura

12/14/2022 Update – Edited by Sammy

“Hey, Winston!” Hunter squinted his eyes as he smiled and waved his hand. “I wanted to show off to you. You can see a very beautiful lake from the window of my room!”

“Winston, I didn’t think that I’d be able to see you here. I hope that you’ll still be able to defend the championship position,” said Audrey.

However, Winston only nodded cooly and softly replied, “Thank you.”

Audrey wasn’t angry, she had long gotten accustomed to Winston’s alienating attitude.

Yet Winston walked over to Hunter’s side, softly asking, “You’re staying here?”

Hunter pointed in the direction of the hotel with his hand. “I don’t remember the name. It’s a hotel with such a long history that you can still hear a creaking sound when you walk in the room, but it’s really close to the competition venue.”

“En, we’re not staying in the same hotel this time around.”

Audrey, who was standing at the side, was a little surprised. This was her first time seeing Winston chatting with someone else, and it had nothing to do with the competition.

“You got drunk previously, does your head still hurt?” Winston faced over with his eyebrows drooping, unexpectedly it caused his originally indifferent temperament to soften at this moment.

“You still want to talk about alcohol with me?” Since Audrey was still close by, Hunter abashedly closed in on Winston and whispered, “Didn’t you say that you’d keep an eye on me? Take a look at this!”

Hunter fished up his collar and revealed them to the latter. Although they weren’t as deep as before, if he was attentive enough, he could still see the shallow marks.

“I’ve been watching you constantly,” Winston replied.

“Liar.” Hunter pointed a middle finger at Winston. “I was clearly calling out for you, but you just ignored me!”

“I didn’t lie to you, who was it that sent you to the hotel? Don’t tell me you didn’t have a good time?”

Winston’s rhetorical question rendered Hunter speechless.

“You didn’t feel satisfied?” As if he couldn’t let it drop unless he heard Hunter’s answer, Winston faced over, almost as if he wanted to press onto Hunter’s cheeks.

His voice was light, as if there were a hand constantly comforting an area that Hunter couldn’t control.

That wild, unrestrained kiss that had made him breathless controlled over him. The sense of a strong, overwhelming danger attacked again, feeling akin to an addiction. It caused his face to immediately redden.

“I… I did… I was just muddleheaded, what a shame… ” Hunter sighed.

“You can always enjoy it again when you’re awake.” Winston’s voice was cold and faint. It was as if they were discussing whether to put basil into their macaroni tonight.

Also, why did Winston’s voice sound as if he’d kissed him that night and made him release several times…

Hunter raised his hands to cover his eyes. He didn’t dare consider such a notion… If his little Hunter dared to come close to Winston’s lips, Winston would definitely use his hand like a knife and be more agile than when crossing the finishing line.

Just thinking about it hurts!

Nevertheless, the discussion wasn’t loud, so Audrey on the sideline couldn’t discern what they were discussing. But when Winston leaned towards Hunter, painting a scene of a close relationship, she wouldn’t have imagined it even in her dreams that one day Winston would display such intimacy with someone.

“You guys seem to be very familiar with each other?” Audrey smilingly asked.

It can’t be that the racer Hunter just mentioned was actually Winston? This is incredible.

“Yes,” Winston responded softly.

“The you today seems so peculiar. Also, I’ve forgotten to wish you a happy birthday.” Although Audrey was interested in the relationship between Hunter and Winston, she could also feel that she couldn’t blend in with them.

“Today’s your birthday?” Hunter asked Winston.

However, Winston only nodded towards Audrey and said a word of thanks.

“Then I’ll be leaving first. There’s not enough daylight, so the results of the photos won’t be good. I’ll see you after the race, Hunter.”

Audrey blinked and turned around to leave.

At this moment, Hunter got excited. “Audrey said earlier that she wants to have a one-on-one interview with me after the race!”

“Do you like her?” Winston questioned.

“Is there any man who wouldn’t like a woman like her?”

Just as Hunter finished, Winston turned and strode away with his long legs.

“Hey! What’s wrong with you? Don’t tell me that you like her? Then why were you so lukewarm earlier?”

Hunter chased after Winston to walk alongside him.

But Winston didn’t even bother to give him a line of sight.

“Hey… Worse comes to worst, I’ll stay far away from her! Even if I do like her, you’re still more important!”

“You little liar.” Winston’s voice was still frosty, but Hunter could feel that the latter was no longer angry.

“And who did I lie to?”

“Right now, you say that you’ll distance yourself from her…” Winston suddenly faced around and his finger hooked Hunter’s chin, raising it in his direction. Catching Hunter by surprise, he stumbled. “By the time she expresses a little goodwill towards you, you won’t hesitate to give your entire self to her.”

“Hey— Don’t imagine me as someone with no will!”

Hunter wanted to shift away and evade Winston’s fingers. It was pretty clear that he was watching when Audrey jokingly hooked his chin earlier.

Don’t assume that Winston’s fingers were just slender, they actually had a lot of strength. Hunter’s chin was starting to hurt from his pinching.

“Who shoots just from kissing?”

Hunter’s eyes went wide.

The other’s kiss that night had been too enthusiastic, he wasn’t able to hold back…

“You… you couldn’t have just been watching from the side right?”

Didn’t Winston stand outside the tent?

Or did Lilith tell him?

Winston didn’t reply to him, he only loosened Hunter’s chin and continued his walk.

Hunter pitifully realised that Winston had a new addition to his black history.

“Hold on, where are you heading?”

“Going to your room.”

“Going to my room?”

“Didn’t you say that the view from your window is great?”

“The sky’s getting dark, what kind of view can you still see!?”

Pondering on it once more, today was the other’s birthday, and so Hunter started regretting it again.

Winston gave a lot to him, but he had nothing that he could give to the other.

“Let’s go see if we can get a cake?” Hunter asked.

“I don’t need to spend my birthday in a special way.”

“I just want to eat cream, ok? There happened to be a competition when I celebrated my 19th birthday, and since the results weren’t good, no one bothered to remember it at all.”

“Let’s go get one then.”

They walked to a dessert shop at the side of the road. This place wasn’t a bustling city, so the cake styles were rather simple.

Returning to his room, Hunter placed the cake on the table and pointed at the furnishings. “Isn’t it so antique? Even the wardrobe will creak when you open it!”

“Yeah.” Winston moved to the window where from afar, he could still vaguely see the reflection of the moon on the lake.

“What’s your room like?”

Hunter opened the cake box as he asked.

“They renovated, perhaps due to wanting to welcome the customer flow that’ll come during the Grand Prix. I don’t like the taste.”

“Oh… it would’ve been better to book this place, right?” Hunter poked Winston’s back with his finger. “Hey, do you want to blow out the candle and make a wish?”

“No need. My wish will still come true regardless.”

Others would call this ‘being conceited’, but when this guy said it, it had the impression of being heaven’s decree.

“But I’ve lit it up for you…”

Even though it was a little childish, Hunter still hoped that it would bring about a birthday atmosphere.

“Then it’s fine.”

Winston walked to the side of the table from the window and sat down.

Hunter was originally playful, swaying on the way back, hence the cake had already become crooked.

He suddenly felt anxious, since Winston seemed like a perfectionist at first glance, this cake definitely didn’t suit his aesthetics.

But he chose to close his eyes as if he were truly wishing devoutly.

Hunter felt that this Winston was quite beautiful. It seemed like the media’s evaluation previously, about him being ‘aloof and unreasonable’ was all nonsense.

When Winston opened his eyes, Hunter quickly shifted his gaze away.

“Hey, what wish did you make?”

“Don’t you know that it won’t happen if you say it out loud?”

“Cut it… You’re taking it so seriously!”

Hunter couldn’t wait any longer and started scooping the cake with his plastic fork, not even planning on waiting for Winston to slice it and then eat.

Regardless, this guy didn’t even mind his saliva.

“However, only you can fulfil my wish for me.”

Hunter froze, suddenly recalling something that Winston had mentioned before. ‘I’ll wait for you at the corner.’

Warmth surged from the bottom of his heart.

“Ok, I’ll make sure to make this wish of yours come true.”

Winston gave a soft ‘en’, lifted his fork and proceeded to scoop his cake.

“It’d be nice if there were two bottles of beer!”

“Carbonated drinks are prohibited before the race.”

“It’s not the start of the competition yet! There are still two days till the practice match!”

“Even when it’s still inching close to the Grand Prix, don’t touch alcohol.”

Hunter felt helpless… then who was it that watched him get drunk two days ago?

“Do you have anything planned for tomorrow?” Hunter bit onto the plastic fork, accidentally breaking it in the process.

He displayed a bitter expression and flipped through the box only to realise that there were no extra forks… how stifling.

“I have a technical meeting at 10 o’clock.”

Winston used his fork to scoop a slice of the cake, then stretched it towards Hunter’s lips.

“So do I, how are you planning on returning to your hotel in a while?”

Hunter had just finished his words when the cake was shoved into his mouth.

“Um…”

“I can walk back.”

“Ok, but handsome guys like you should be careful, there’s a lot of car-crazed fans lurking around the neighbourhood. If you’re suddenly attacked by them while walking on the forested path shrouded by the night, then even if you call for the heavens, the heavens won’t answer.”

Hunter spoke enthusiastically but was suddenly stuffed with another mouthful of cake.

“Um…”

This cake was originally bought for you ok!?

“You can have it.”

“You really don’t want it? There’s still half left.” Hunter asked while still having Winston’s plastic fork in his mouth.

The other parted his mouth, gazing at Hunter without saying a word.

Hunter rolled his eyes in his heart. Here this guy goes again… it was like this when we smoked, and it’s also like this when we’re eating.

Watch how I can disgust you!

Hunter smirked and purposely licked the fork in front of the other, then he proceeded to scoop the cake and stretched it out to the latter.

If you have the ability to, then eat!

If you don’t loath it, then eat!

At the next second, Hunter’s wrist was hooked with a strength that dragged him forwards to the latter. Winston had actually swallowed up the cake piece and ate it nonchalantly.

His eyebrows raised as if saying, ‘What other tricks do you have up your sleeves’.

Hunter admitted that he was disappointed.

He originally thought that he could see Winston’s annoyed expression, for he’d always assumed that Winston couldn’t tolerate many things, but he realised the other’s bottom line was far beyond his imagination.

“You seem very disappointed?”

“How could that be!” Hunter laughed dryly. “I feel very honoured!”

“Honoured by what?”

“Honoured that you don’t mind eating my saliva!” Hunter deliberately showed a despicable expression.

“You’re the only one.”

“Really? I feel that special? You haven’t had someone close enough to wear the same pants, drink from the same beer can, or get high together by watching a movie?”

“There was for the first two, but not for the last one.”

Winston’s eyes fell, while Hunter’s heart ached inexplicably.

“If you said previously that you’ve never watched a movie alone, I could believe it, but you’re so very pretentious when you play. I don’t believe that you’ve never gotten high from watching a movie.”

“I can think of you in order to.” Winston rubbed his chin.

Hunter showed a helpless expression. “If you give up on yourself like this, then be careful because I’ll also give up treatment.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it.”

“Then I’m curious, who exactly wore the same pants as you, and even drank from the same beer can?”

“He left me,” Winston answered.

“Left you? Was it because they couldn’t stand your ‘matter of course’ way of ridiculing others with embarrassing jokes?” Hunter playfully asked.

“One day, as I was lying down on my bed while reading a book, his team manager called to tell me that he and an engineer from his team crashed into a lamp post while driving.”

Not everyone could see Winston’s emotions through his eyes.

But Hunter knew at that moment that the Winston who spoke about someone crashing into the lamp post was different from the Winston who spoke embarrassing jokes.

“I don’t have that big of a curiosity… Today’s your birthday, we can chat about happier things.”

“He’d once made me happy.” Winston faced Hunter, his voice flat from start to end. “I never realised it until I couldn’t see him anymore. I thought that we’d have happier times ahead, but we actually didn’t.”

Hunter opened his mouth, not knowing what to say.

Winston also changed his posture, propping up his chin to watch Hunter.

With such a gaze, Hunter felt as if he was in another world.

“Hunter, there’s something that I’d like to say to you.”

“Ok, I’m listening.”

“When I first met him, it was at a Charity dinner. Everyone was just chatting, suddenly, the fire alarm sounded, so all the guests were beelined to the exit. I didn’t even see the smoke, there was nothing in the air except for the smell of alcohol.”

“Did someone activate the fire alarm by mistake?”

“Yes. I felt calm at that time, thinking that once everyone came to realise that it was a false alarm, they would settle down, but someone had suddenly grabbed onto my hand. I had never been pulled like that before, and that feeling was very special to me.”

“Did he pull the wrong guy?” Hunter curiously asked.

“That’s right. He’d turned around and was surprised when he saw me, while his partner for the dinner, who wasn’t far away from him, had pointed a middle finger at him while cursing.”

Winston’s gaze turned soft, even the corners of his lips fell slightly.

“This bro must’ve been pretty miserable. His companion definitely would’ve assumed that he’d abandoned her.”

“En…” Winston closed his eyes, his smile becoming more distinct. “At that time, he knew that he’d grabbed the wrong person, but he still didn’t let go of my hand. Later, I asked him why.”

“Let me guess…” Hunter tilted his head, simulating the scenario in his mind and smiled afterwards, “Did he reply that since he’d pulled the wrong person and couldn’t avoid being misunderstood by his companion, he might as well continue to pull you. It wouldn’t be a loss either.”

“Correct, this was how he’d replied.”

“Huh?”

He actually randomly guessed it right?

“Later on, we would frequently smoke together before a race, then discuss the performances as well as the techniques of the racers afterwards. We would play tennis together, climb mountains, and even go watch the aurora… Until one day, he asked me if I wanted to go to a barbecue, I had told him that I wanted to sleep early. He’d replied on the phone that my work-rest habit was like an old man’s.”

“You only pretend to be an old man.”

Hunter thoughtfully smiled, regardless of the warehouse bar in Montreal, or the ‘Lilith’s night’ in London, Winston wasn’t as cold as he seemed to be.

“At nine o’clock, I was reading a book while leaning against the headboard, afterwards I picked up a call… They told me that he’d crashed into a lampost while driving and it smashed down onto his old jeep… I felt that the things said on the other end of the phone should be someone else’s business, it had nothing to do with him and that all of this wasn’t real. I thought that I should finish my book, then shut the lights to sleep, and be able to hear that guy’s voice the next day. That everything was just a dream.”

“Winston…”

“I had driven past the speed limit that day, my team informed me that there were several policemen on their motorbikes chasing after me… but I still couldn’t catch up to him. I saw many familiar faces sobbing in the corridors of the hospital. The doctor had cleaned up the blood on his body and face, and covered his body with a white cloth. I’d told myself that perhaps it might not be him… he might still be in the operating room, although injured, maybe the doctor would tell us that he’s out of danger a few hours later. But while even covered with a white cloth, I could tell from the contours that it was him.”

Hunter’s eyes started to blur.

The surroundings felt as if soaked in icy cold waters, spreading everywhere, unable to escape.

“Someone had told me, told me not to pull off the cloth, not to look… but how could I not look? I lifted it off little by little, and I saw his familiar soft hair, his boyish forehead, and the huge wound that killed him. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was in pain? Did he think of me when he was in pain?”

Winston’s voice was still steady, but Hunter could see that his shoulders were trembling.

“It’s enough, Winston… I get it…”

Hunter reached out a hand and pressed his palm to Winston’s cheek.

“I had called his name, again and again, yet he still didn’t open his eyes to see me in the end. Just like every time he ran over to hug me because he attained a good rank, I hugged him tight, full of expectations… but there was no response. I thought that as long as I cried and appeared devastated, this asshole would immediately spring up and laugh at me, gleefully talking about how good his makeup was, about how hard it was for him to not move! I grasped his hand, imagining how it would suddenly tremble, just like when we first met, clenching me tightly… deathly clenching me tightly, telling me how he’d be at a loss if he didn’t hold onto me longer…”

Hunter stood up and walked to Winston’s side to hug him strongly.

“After that, I doubted every minute and every second of my life. Wondering if I was still dreaming, wondering why that asshole didn’t call me to wake me up.”

We were born alone and became accustomed to being lonely.

If we’ve ever felt warmth, then the loneliness from before would crush us a hundred and thousand times more.

“…I’ve sat against the headboard and thought about it countless times. When was the last time that I saw him? What did he say to me? What were we doing? But I can’t recall anything. Hunter… It turns out that in life, there’d be one person who has never bid goodbye, yet you would still want to see him one last time.”

Winston’s face leaned towards Hunter’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“Yea… Just like my dad, and just like your friend.” Hunter’s heart was moved, hurting together with Winston.

“Don’t do the same to me again, Hunter.”

“Ok.”

“No matter what I do, no matter how angry you get… Don’t leave me…”

“Ok.”

Hunter proceeded to hug Winston tight, he didn’t know how else to comfort him.

Winston’s hands rested on Hunter’s waist as he pressed harder onto Hunter’s chest.

“Never ever forget what you’ve promised me.”

“Of course.”

At this moment, Hunter clearly felt that Winston was depending on him.

He was obviously as strong as him, yet he was relying on him like a child.

“It’s late, I should get going.” Winston lightly patted Hunter’s back.

“Let’s sleep together! What if you get swept away by some crazy fans while heading back? You can run back to your hotel tomorrow morning.”

Hunter lowered his head and said with a smirk.

“Ok.” Winston’s reply was so natural that Hunter wondered if he’d already planned to spend the night here.

–

The author has something to say:

When frying eggs:

Hunter: My birthday wish is super simple!

Winston: What’s your wish?

Hunter: Bunny girl party!

Winston: Sure, I’ll give you one on your 20th birthday.

Hunter: Really?

Winston: You can see but you can’t touch.

Hunter: You might as well punch me and make me faint… damn it.

nura: I’m releasing two (unedited) chapters today as an end of year special! Please rememeber to click next~