Chapter 25 – The Rabbit
Translator: Xena
Chen Xiangsui’s gaze lingered on Cheng Yinian’s face for a long while. He tucked the blanket around him, then finally lay back down.
Yinian, I think I like you.
The answer was etched with striking clarity in the stillness of the night. His gaze lingered on Cheng Yinian’s back.
But he’s my friend, he thought. These feelings intruding upon their friendship left him at a loss. He gently traced the outline of the music, then withdrew the tactile sensation from his consciousness.
……
Cheng Yinian turned off his phone alarm when he woke up that morning. He tilted his head slightly, his nose nearly brushing Chen Xiangsui’s hairline. The other man had buried his head beside his shoulder without him noticing.
He retreated cautiously to the side. Though he’d tried his best not to disturb Chen Xiangsui, the other still sensed his movement and slowly opened his eyes. “Sorry, I overslept and can’t bring you breakfast.”
“…It’s okay. I’m the one who should be sorry for waking you up.”
“I woke up on my own.” Chen Xiangsui curved his lips slightly, then gently smoothed down the few stray hairs sticking up at the side of Cheng Yinian’s head. “I’ll go change.” After speaking, he pulled back the bed curtain and climbed down the ladder, just in time to catch Lu Yan and Xu Zitang busy tidying up their appearance.
“Were you two sleeping together again?” Lu Yan quipped offhandedly, “Ai, Xiangsui’s care for you has even extended to the bedroom.”
Cheng Yinian, still in bed, immediately grumbled a few complaints. “Lu Yan, why do you talk nonsense everytime?”
“This is no joke. It’s just the right thing to add some spice to this boring college life. Actually, Xu Zitang and I can care about you too. Think it over.”
Before Cheng Yinian could say anything, Chen Xiangsui, who was putting on his shoes beside him, spoke up first, “I can take care of Yinian.”
Lu Yan chuckled. “I see you’re already on to it, I won’t bother you two anymore. I’m going to grab a seat in the back.”
Xu Zitang followed Lu Yan out the door, leaving only the two of them in the dormitory. Chen Xiangsui laced up his sneakers and saw Cheng Yinian still staring dazedly at the bed. “What’s wrong? If you don’t get dressed now, you’ll be late.”
“Ah, hmm.” Cheng Yinian hurriedly drew the bed curtains. When he finished adjusting his coat and stepped down from the bed, he noticed a dark brown scarf around Chen Xiangsui’s neck. The very one he had given to Age as a gift.
Seeing that time was running out, Cheng Yinian hurriedly packed his backpack first. He had a meeting to attend today and needed to bring along quite a few documents. Before he could finish what he was doing, Chen Xiangsui had somehow crouched down before him. He gently took his feet which was still warm from being beneath the blankets, slipped socks onto them, then put on his shoes and patiently tied the laces tight.
Before Chen Xiangsui’s hand could reach for his other bare foot, he sheepishly pulled his leg back a little. “I’ll handle it myself.”
“But it’s too late. I’ll help you. This teacher is very strict, so being late will result in deductions from your daily attendance score.” After Chen Xiangsui finished speaking, he was about to grasp Cheng Yinian’s other foot when the latter hastily set down his bag and documents, and took his own sock in hand. “Alright, I’ve got my hands free now.”
Chen Xiangsui watched Cheng Yinian tie his shoelaces. “Are you still mad at me?”
“I am angry, but this is a different matter. I’m not a child. Even if I’m running out of time, there’s no need to act like this.”
Chen Xiangsui looked as if he’d been wronged. “I’m sorry, I just want to take better care of you.”
“No need to apologize… Let’s go.” Cheng Yinian couldn’t help but soften when met with Chen Xiangsui’s gaze, but he quickly averted his eyes. “If we don’t leave now, we’ll really lose points.”
……
When they arrived at the classroom, the bell rang just as class began.
These past few days, Cheng Yinian and Chen Xiangsui seemed to have reverted to their former routine, which was attending classes and meals together. It seemed like nothing changed except that they no longer chatted online. It wasn’t until Chen Xiangsui returned from the courier station that morning and thrust a large bundle of small gifts into Cheng Yinian’s hands. “This is for you, Yinian.”
Cheng Yinian looked at the small items crammed into the packaging bag. Before he could say anything, Chen Xiangsui spoke first. “You can take a look now.”
Upon hearing Chen Xiangsui’s words, Cheng Yinian tore open the packaging bag and began taking out the contents one by one. They were mostly cold-weather gear. The gloves Chen Xiangsui had mentioned buying for him last time, two pairs of fluffy cotton slippers, and thick socks, among other items. Flipping to the last page, Cheng Yinian pulled out a pair of rabbit ears, a matching white fluffy winter skirt, and a tail-shaped design at the back waist.
“Chen Xiangsui, stop sending me dresses.” Cheng Yinian frowned. “I won’t wear it again.”
Chen Xiangsui hesitated for a moment before pulling the skirt back. “Sorry, I grabbed the wrong one. This are props for Lu Yan’s drama club, I was just helping them pick it up.”
Cheng Yinian realized he had misunderstood and was about to apologize when he heard the other person continue, “Are you really never going to wear it again?”
“…You know I’m Nian Gao anyway, so what’s the point?”
Chen Xiangsui still looked as clueless as ever. “Are these two things related?”
Only then did Cheng Yinian belatedly realized that Chen Xiangsui seemed unaware that his approach to Age had been deliberate. The next second, he heard Chen Xiangsui say, “Don’t hold back. Is it because of something I did?”
Cheng Yinian: …
He sensed that Chen Xiangsui clearly misunderstood him, but he couldn’t explain the underlying reasons. Those feelings he’d carefully buried in the shadows couldn’t be exposed to the light. So he could only give a stiff nod. “…I understand. But I wouldn’t wear it in front of other people.”
“Am I considered ‘other people” ?” Chen Xiangsui’s gaze held an inexplicable longing. Cheng Yinian had always been completely defenseless against such a gaze from his beloved. After thinking for a moment, he replied, “Like they say, you’re the… big boss of my livestream?”
Chen Xiangsui frowned slightly. “You only like my money.”
Cheng Yinian: …?
Seems like there’s nothing wrong with understanding it this way. Cheng Yinian paused for a moment before responding, “You’re the same, you only like seeing me in skirts.”
“I don’t.” Chen Xiangsui suddenly began to stammer. “I’m not just…”
The other person seemed to fall into deep thought, pausing for a long while before continuing: “If I send you gifts in your livestream, will you still show it to me?”
Something felt off. Cheng Yinian felt an urgent need to massage his temples. He gave a firm reply, “No.”
“You still haven’t forgiven me.” Chen Xiangsui wrapped Cheng Yinian’s icy hands in his own palms. Once he felt the warmth return to the other’s fingers, he pulled him close, his arms tightening around his waist. “This week’s beef rice bowls with extra meatballs are all on me.”
Cheng Yinian let out an almost imperceptible sigh. “I’d feel embarrassed.”
“Didn’t you feel the same way when you dress up for strangers online?” The light in Chen Xiangsui’s eyes seemed to gradually dim. “Age can do it, why can’t I?”
“…Only strangers couldn’t.”
Chen Xiangsui’s hand tightened around Cheng Yinian’s waist. “But Age isn’t a stranger either, he’s your online boyfriend, and he’s me.”
Cheng Yinian was pondering what words might be used toi refute Chen Xiangsui, but before he could organize his thoughts, Chen Xiangsui continued, “So if Age allowed, can’t I be too? I refuse to lose to a virtual identity.”
At this point, Cheng Yinian simply couldn’t bring himself to refuse. Chen Xiangsui’s deceptively vulnerable posture struck a soft spot in his heart. How cunning, Cheng Yinian couldn’t help but think.
“…I understand.” Cheng Yinian snatched the fluffy skirt and rabbit ears back into his hands, then quickly locked the door from the inside while Lu Yan and Xu Zitang hasn’t returned yet.
Cheng Yinian pushed open the balcony door, deliberately went into the bathroom to change into the skirt, and reluctantly put on the rabbit ears. Yet he hesitated, too embarrassed to open the door. Although he had taken many photos before, standing before Chen Xiangsui in a skirt still made him feel uncomfortably embarrassed.
He spent half an hour in the bathroom talking himself into it. Until finally, he forced himself to take the plunge after Chen Xiangsui’s question, “Did something happen?” He pushed open the door and walked into the dorm.
Cheng Yinian dared not lift his gaze, afraid to see the expression on Chen Xiangsui’s face. Before the waves of emotion in his heart could subside, he found himself trapped in Chen Xiangsui’s embrace.
“So cute.” Chen Xiangsui buried his face in the plush fabric at the shoulder of the dress. “Yinian is so fluffy, warm and cozy.”
“…Pervert.”
Having been called that by Cheng Yinian several times before, Chen Xiangsui seemed to have grown immune to the nickname. He simply rubbed himself against Cheng Yinian, and eventually rested his palm on the rabbit tail at his lower back, giving it a couple of rubs.
“I’m not a real rabbit…” Cheng Yinian spoke shyly, his ears already flushing crimson without him noticing. “Do you really like this so much?”
Chen Xiangsui hesitated for a long moment, as if words were about to burst from his throat only to be held back again. “Yinian is so cute, that’s why I… just want to keep watching.”
He paused. “…Just watching is fine too.”
“But you were practically about to crawl all over me.” Cheng Yinian let out an almost imperceptible sigh.
“I couldn’t help myself.” Chen Xiangsui curved his lips into a smile. Only then did he notice Cheng Yinian’s bare legs beneath his skirt. He guided him to his seat, helped him sit down, and draped a blanket over his legs. “It’s freezing.”
“It’s okay, there’s not much wind indoors.”
Chen Xiangsui reached for his phone on the table. “May I take your picture?”
“I won’t strike any poses to accommodate you” After all, that would even be more embarrassing.
“It’s okay. This is the first time I’ve seen you in this outfit, and… saw your face without the wig.” After finishing his sentence, Chen Xiangsui snapped two photos of Cheng Yinian, who was dodging the camera. “This looks cute too.”
“…After we finish filming, I’m going to change back into my own clothes.” Cheng Yinian’s gaze drifted farther and farther away, but Chen Xiangsui gently turned his face back with his hand. “I want to look at you a little longer, just a little longer.”
Cheng Yinian suddenly locked eyes with Chen Xiangsui. The moment their gazes met, he seemed like a bud blushing shyly, refusing to open. No matter how the other’s gaze followed, he timidly looked away.
“Why won’t you look at me?” Chen Xiangsui couldn’t help but ask.
“…Didn’t I tell you I’d feel embarrassed?”
“But I want to see you. Just let me see you for a moment, okay?”
Cheng Yinian was utterly helpless against Chen Xiangsui. He could only turn and meet the other’s gaze, but the heat rising to his face forced him to stand up. He casually tossed out an excuse and hurried toward the balcony. “I’m not feeling well.”
That clueless straight guy Chen Xiangsui has gone too far.
