Chapter 23 – Apology
Translator: Xena
Cheng Yinian felt as if he and the surrounding air had frozen solid, and the orderly structure in his mind seemed to have been thrown into chaos by a cannonball. He froze in place for a moment before realizing he needed to restore the phone screen.
When did he fall off his horse?1Falling off a horse means a disguise being revealed or getting caught pretending.
“…Yinian?”
Before he could think of anything or finish what he was doing, Chen Xiangsui emerged from the restroom and walked up to him.
The two stared at each other in silence, until finally Cheng Yinian broke the silence first: “When did you realize… it was me?”
“I knew it from the very beginning, from the moment I first added you as a friend.” Chen Xiangsui instinctively grabbed Cheng Yinian’s wrist. “I’m sorry.”
Cheng Yinian stood frozen in place like a statue. Chen Xiangsui knew it was him, asked him for photos, agreed to date him, and played along with the charade of being his boyfriend.
“Chen Xiangsui, do you find this amusing? You know I’m a guy, so it doesn’t matter if you just casually agree to date me? Is acting really fun? Seeing me send you those photos must seem pretty ridiculous, huh?” Cheng Yinian grew increasingly furious as he spoke, finally wrenching his hand free from Chen Xiangsui’s grasp.
“No, I didn’t think that.”
Chen Xiangsui spoke while attempting to draw nearer. Cheng Yinian dodged the other person and dashed straight out of the dormitory. Unsure where to go, he eventually sat down on the grass of the sports field and watched the boys playing basketball on the other side of the court
Cheng Yinian hugged his knees and sighed almost imperceptibly. The mere thought of Chen Xiangsui video chatting and sending photos to him while knowing he was Cheng Yinian made him want to dig a hole right then and there and crawl into it.
Even if Chen Xiangsui was a blockhead, there should be a limit. How could he just let him act foolishly on the other side of the screen? Cheng Yinian felt like a circus monkey. A dull ache throbbed in his head.
He glanced at the time on his phone. It was past eight in the evening. To avoid running into Chen Xiangsui, he had to make sure he returned to the dorm after eleven.
Cheng Yinian contacted his other roommates and finally decided to go to the library to study with Xu Zitang. Cheng Yinian hadn’t been able to settle down and read for a long time, but in this tranquil atmosphere, he was able to abandon his distractions and immerse himself in the book.
On his way back, he deliberately slowed his pace to trail behind Xu Zitang, making sure Chen Xiangsui’s bed curtain was closed before stepping through the dormitory door.
Cheng Yinian quietly began packing his things. Since he had no classes tomorrow, he had plenty of time to move back to his rented apartment to sleep.
As soon as he climbed into bed, Cheng Yinian’s gaze fell upon the Walkman Chen Xiangsui had lent him, resting on the nightstand. He paused for a moment, then packed the Walkman into his bag as well.
……
Chen Xiangsui woke up to find Cheng Yinian’s bed empty. He waited until noon, but the other person never showed up.
He never imagined he’d be exposed so suddenly, nor did he ever think that in Cheng Yinian’s eyes, he would be making a fool of himself
Yinian is so adorable, but he never smiles. Chen Xiang thought to himself.
Having not seen Cheng Yinian for just one morning, Chen Xiangsui felt as though his heart were being gnawed at by ants. He unlocked his phone and tried sending messages, but they all bounced back. The red exclamation marks were particularly jarring. Even his calls went unanswered.
Although he knew he would see Cheng Yinian the next day when classes resumed, for some reason he had an intuition that if he didn’t go find Cheng Yinian now, he might never find him again.
He opened his contacts and messaged several friends, asking where rental properties near the school were.
The first to reply was Xu Zitang: [You’re moving out?]
Chen Xiangsui: [No, looking for someone.]
Xu Zitang: [……This is a bit of a stretch. Are there any other clues?]
Chen Xiangsui: [It has a basketball court downstairs? I’ve seen the surrounding area before, so I should be able to recognize it.] He recalled the time when he video-chatted with Cheng Yinian, who had shown him the view outside his window.
Xu Zitang: [That should be the residential complex. I think I know where it is. Langbei Garden, Building 5, Unit 303, if I remember correctly.]
Chen Xiangsui: [You…]
Xu Zitang: [I’ve delivered materials for Yinian a few times before. Go ahead. The dorm feels much quieter with one less person.]
……
Chen Xiangsui searched on his navigation app, quickly retrieved his car from the parking lot outside the school, and soon arrived at the entrance of Langbei Garden. After completing visitor registration at the gate, he was granted access.
He stood before the door of Unit 303, hesitated for a moment, and pressed the doorbell.
“Coming.”
It was Cheng Yinian’s voice. Chen Xiangsui instinctively squeezed his fingers tightly. The door swung open the next second. Cheng Yinian looked as though he’d just woken up. His hair was slightly tousled, his coat slung carelessly over his shoulders, and he was rubbing his eyes drowsily.
Upon seeing the person before him, Cheng Yinian seemed to snap out of his daze in an instant. “How did you know about this place?”
“Someone told me.” Chen Xiangsui deliberately avoided mentioning Xu Zitang’s name. “May I come in?”
Cheng Yinian hesitated for a moment with his hand on the door handle, but let Chen Xiangsui enter in the end. The room was arranged exactly as it had been during their previous video call, except the bedding was slightly disheveled, likely because he had just woken up and hadn’t had time to tidy it yet.
Chen Xiangsui felt as though he’d suddenly become invisible. Cheng Yinian showed absolutely no intention of welcoming his guest, and instead brushed his teeth and washed his face as if he were alone. Finally, he stopped in front of his own closet.
The guest sat on the bench to the side, wanting to say something but always feeling it wasn’t quite appropriate. He rehearsed his response several times in his mind, but the words remained stuck in his throat. After a long pause, he finally managed to say, “I never thought that way, and I wasn’t trying to mess with you.”
“What are you trying to say?” Cheng Yinian reached out to pull open one side of the closet. Chen Xiangsui stood behind him watching, catching glimpses of several dresses hanging in the corner—all gifts he had bought for him.
Chen Xiang took a few steps forward. “I wanted to talk to you more, to get to know other parts of you, so I didn’t tell you.”
He continued walking forward until he stopped beside Cheng Yinian. His fingertips lightly brushed against the dresses inside the closet. “That includes understanding you as you are.”
Cheng Yinian averted his gaze, leaving Chen Xiangsui unable to discern the expression on his face. The latter tentatively picked up the black cat ears lying at the bottom of the closet and then carefully placed them on Cheng Yinian’s head. Seeing no resistance, he gently turned Cheng Yinian’s face toward him until their gazes met. “I like Yinian like this, like a sleepy kitten, so cute.”
“You…” Cheng Yinian’s ears seemed to flush a faint crimson. He deliberately averted his gaze and slowly finished the sentence he’d left hanging earlier. “You pervert.”
“Is liking you considered perverted?” Chen Xiangsui’s expression wasn’t one of mockery. He was asking the question with complete seriousness, as if discussing an obscure and difficult-to-understand professional matter.
“……” Sometimes, Chen Xiang’s expression was so deeply subdued that Cheng Yinian seriously suspected he was putting on an act. Yet when met with those clear, unguarded eyes, Cheng Yinian couldn’t help but simply sigh. “Don’t keep saying things like that.”
Seeing that Cheng Yinian seemed intent on continuing to ignore him while picking out clothes from the closet, Chen Xiangsui quickly spoke up, “Can you come back with me?”
“I have no intention of forgiving you so easily.”
Chen Xiangsui paused, then brought the white plastic bag he was carrying behind his back. “I got you breakfast. Beef brisket noodles with extra beef meatballs.”
“I won’t eat it.” Cheng Yinian didn’t give the bowl of beef brisket noodles a single glance, even though he was genuinely craving it.
Chen Xiangsui was utterly helpless with Cheng Yinian’s gloomy mood. He set the noodles aside on the table, then stepped closer to wrap his arms around Cheng Yinian from behind, resting his forehead against the other’s shoulder. “It’s okay if you don’t forgive me, but can you go back to the dorm? I don’t want to not even see you.”
After a moment’s thought, he added, “If you don’t agree, I won’t let go.”
Cheng Yinian frowned. This guy was acting like a spoiled child. “I’m streaming here whenever I don’t have class. I won’t be heading back today. Besides, I haven’t even changed my clothes yet.”
“I have class tomorrow, so I’ll be back tonight.” Chen Xiangsui tightened his grip on Cheng Yinian’s arm.
“Didn’t you say you’d let go once I agreed?”
“I just said I wouldn’t let go until you agreed.”
Cheng Yinian frowned. This guy was really good at nitpicking over words when it wasn’t necessary.
“The noodles are getting cold.” Chen Xiangsui whispered in Cheng Yinian’s ear. “You haven’t eaten yet. You can’t go hungry.”
Cheng Yinian was utterly at a loss with Chen Xiangsui, so he turned around, sat down at the table, and opened the plastic bowl. What met his eyes was a full layer of beef balls. He picked up a piece and eagerly popped it into his mouth, only to wince as the heat stung his tongue.
Chen Xiangsui picked up a disposable chopstick he’d taken along, picked up a piece of food, and blew on it before bringing it to his mouth. “Take your time, eat slowly.” After speaking, he gently pressed the beef ball held between his chopsticks to his lips. Moments later, he offered it to Cheng Yinian’s mouth. “This one is just the right temperature.”
Cheng Yinian awkwardly leaned back. “I won’t eat it.”
“Just this once.”
“You said it.” Cheng Yinian finally opened his mouth and swallowed the beef ball. He then began eating the noodles in his bowl while Chen Xiangsui’s gaze remained fixed on him, unmoving for a long while.
Chen Xiangsui suddenly asked, “What are you planning to wear today, Yinian?”
“I’m not wearing a skirt.” Cheng Yinian answered coldly.
“Are you never going to wear it again?” Chen Xiangsui had clearly asked a stupid question, but he himself was completely unaware of it.
“Even if I wear it, it’s not for your benefit.” Cheng Yinian blurted out in a rage, Does Chen Xiangsui really like that style of dressing that much? So much that he doesn’t even care if the person wearing it is a man? “…Pervert.”
“Is that so?” Chen Xiangsui’s face betrayed a hint of disappointment as his gaze met Cheng Yinian’s involuntarily. “Then can you not wear it for others to see?”
“…You’d better stop talking nonsense.” Cheng Yinian dug in, devouring his meal so quickly that the plastic bowl was soon empty. He set down his chopsticks and returned to his closet. Before he could select a suitable undershirt, Chen Xiangsui approached him again and grabbed his slender wrist. “Promise me.”
“…Girlfriend.”
