After the battle at Yanling Mountain, the He family’s power was completely eradicated. Li Sui had bloodied half the court, leaving a host of vacant posts. Shen Mei had contributed greatly to bringing down the He family, earning the Emperor’s favor and praise for his loyalty, bravery, decisiveness, uprightness, and incorruptibility. He rose through the ranks several times and landed himself a post as a Supervising Censor in the Censorate. Though it was only a Sixth-Rank, Secondary-Grade position, the Shen family was rehabilitated, and their confiscated home was returned to them.
Before the Mid-Autumn Festival, remembering how long it had been since the brothers had seen each other, the emperor specially granted Shen Ling permission to leave the palace and stay at home for a few days.
Of course, the real reason was that Shen Ling had received a message from Shen Mei asking him to come out and meet, saying there was something extremely important they needed to discuss—an urgent matter involving life and death.
Shen Ling suspected his brother had gotten into trouble outside, or that the Prince Jing’s residence had come up with some new scheme. He’d initially wanted to ignore it, but when he thought of how little medicine he had left, he decided to get busy on the Dragon Bed that night. He kissed Li Sui and cried, telling him he had lost his father and mother and now had only his brother left, whom he hadn’t seen in ages. Whenever he looked at the moon in the sky, homesickness rose in his heart.
Li Sui carried him to the windowsill to look at the moon. Shen Ling was scared half to death. The moon really was round and bright, casting a silvery white sheen over him, as if he’d been dusted with sugar.
Apparently finding him sweet and soft, Li Sui kissed that silvery sheen and asked Shen Ling just how homesick he was.
Shen Ling’s mind was nearly mush. He mumbled, “I lift my head and gaze at the bright moon; I lower it and think of home.”1Translator’s Note: “Quiet Night Thoughts” (《静夜思》) “I lift my head and gaze at the bright moon; I lower it and think of home” is a line from Quiet Night Thoughts (Jìng Yè Sī, 静夜思), a famous poem by the Tang dynasty poet Li Bai (李白, 701–762). The poem describes the poet looking at the moonlight and being reminded of his distant home. The moon is a recurring symbol of homesickness and longing for one’s homeland in classical Chinese poetry.
Li Sui raised an eyebrow and let Shen Ling catch his breath. “Tingting, such lovely poetry. Give me something different.”
“I didn’t write that. It’s a poem from ages ago. If Your Majesty likes it, I can recite a few more.” Shen Ling braced both hands on the windowsill, his body half suspended in the air. His face was flushed from desire, and he still had to think. Trembling, he said, “There’s also… ‘Dew turns white tonight; the moon is brighter over my hometown.’”2Translator’s Note: “Dew turns white tonight; the moon is brighter over my hometown,” comes from Remembering My Brothers on a Moonlit Night (《月夜忆舍弟》) by the Tang dynasty poet Du Fu (杜甫, 712–770). Written during the upheavals of the An Lushan Rebellion, the poem expresses longing for family separated by war. Its original line, “露从今夜白，月是故乡明,” literally means “The dew turns white tonight; the moon is brighter over my hometown.”
“The spring breeze has turned the south bank of the Yangtze green again. When will the bright moon shine on my return… Mm…”3Translator’s Note: “The spring breeze has turned the south bank of the Yangtze green again. When will the bright moon shine on my return?” comes from Mooring by Guazhou (《泊船瓜洲》), traditionally attributed to the Song dynasty poet Wang Anshi (王安石, 1021–1086). Its original line, “春风又绿江南岸，明月何时照我还,” describes spring returning to the southern bank of the Yangtze River and the poet’s longing to return home.
…
Shen Ling couldn’t remember what came after that. He only knew he’d been reciting poems in a daze. When he came to, Li Sui had him pressed against his chest in a tight, tight embrace.
Li Sui had wrapped him in his outer robe and was holding him half upright. Shen Ling felt like a koala clinging to a tree, his arms wrapped around Li Sui’s neck. Everything before his eyes was blurry. He’d nearly blacked out once, and it took a long, long time for his senses to return. Then he felt something wet on his neck. He reached up to touch it. It seemed to be water.
Shen Ling mumbled, “Your Majesty, is it raining?”
Li Sui held him with one arm, his voice hoarse with extreme satisfaction. “Silly boy. With a moon this bright, how could it be raining?”
If it wasn’t rain, what was it? Sweat, saliva, or tears?
Shen Ling was about to ask again when Li Sui said, “Look, fireflies.”
He perked up at once and turned to look out the window. Sure enough, a glimmer of light was flitting back and forth. He obligingly exclaimed, “Wow!”
Li Sui asked, “Never seen one before?”
Shen Ling said, “This is the first time I’ve seen one with my own eyes. The palace really does have a good ecosystem.”
Li Sui said, “Up close, you won’t think they’re pretty anymore. Big bugs with black backs and yellow heads.”
Shen Ling: “…”
He bit Li Sui’s ear. “Your Majesty, stop saying things like that.”
Li Sui asked him instead, “You want to go home that badly? Is Shen Mei good to you?”
“My older brother is a strange person. When he’s good, he’s really good; when he’s bad, he can drive you up the wall. But he’s still my brother, and we share the same blood.” Thinking of his cheap older brother, Shen Ling recalled that while he was working hard here for their plans, the other man might very well have been sprawled in bed sleeping. He was both annoyed and exasperated. He burrowed his head into Li Sui’s arms and gave up. “Forget it. He can wait another year at most. I’ll spend the Mid-Autumn Festival with Your Majesty this year.”
Li Sui chuckled. “I can’t bear to see my beloved consort sad. You may return to your residence tomorrow and stay there for a while. Remember, this is a favor no one else gets.”
“Huh?” Shen Ling hurriedly kissed Li Sui and praised him. “Your Majesty is so good to me.”
*
Shen Ling returned to the residence with a huge pile of imperial gifts.
The Shen residence wasn’t large. After all, Lord Shen had been an honest and incorruptible official, and Shen Mei had carried on his father’s frugal ways. He’d hired only two old servants to sweep the grounds and watch the gate, and had tidied up one room for himself. The rest he’d left as it was; he hadn’t even finished clearing the weeds from the courtyard.
As the emperor’s current favorite, Shen Ling naturally didn’t return alone. Li Sui had assigned him twelve guards and six maids. The eighteen attendants swept into the Shen residence, took one look at the chaotic courtyard, and heard the head palace maid exclaim, “How can Young Master Shen live in such a shabby place?” Then she led everyone off to clean it up.
The brothers had not seen each other for almost half a year. Shen Ling wanted to punch Shen Mei the moment they met, but before he could jump up and hit him, Shen Mei doubled over and began coughing so hard he could barely breathe.
Shen Ling held back his anger. “What’s wrong with you? I haven’t even touched you. Don’t try to pin this on me.”
“Tingting…” Shen Mei came leaning over with his nose running and tears streaming down his face. “Your older brother missed you so much. I thought we’d never see each other again in this lifetime.”
As he spoke, he leaned against Shen Ling and began to weep piteously.
“For the sake of our futures, your older brother nearly gave his life in the southwest.” Shen Mei opened his clothes to show Shen Ling the wound on his ribs, which had yet to heal completely. “An assassin stabbed me. You have no idea—when I was carrying the account book, it felt like there were eight hundred people chasing me, all trying to kill me. I swam all night, but they still cornered me in the reed marsh and stabbed me. It hurt so much I nearly cried myself unconscious. But then I thought, if I cried, I’d die, so I took off running with the knife still in me. I ended up injuring my lungs, and now I cough whenever I overexert myself.”
Shen Ling looked at the wound between Shen Mei’s ribs. It really was gruesome. Even though it had mostly healed, the size of the original wound was still obvious. The trip to the southwest must have been even more harrowing than he’d imagined.
“You’ve been through a lot. I’ll stew you a chicken tonight to build you back up. How did you get away?” Shen Ling touched the wound, and Shen Mei sucked in a sharp breath. He closed his clothes and said casually, “I was lucky. A great hero saw injustice and came to my aid. He held off a whole group of men by himself and covered my escape.”
Shen Ling pricked up his ears. “Where is this hero now? He saved your life. We have to thank him properly.”
When Shen Mei didn’t answer, he looked at him suspiciously. “Brother, you didn’t see he was losing and take the chance to run away, did you?”
“What do you mean, run away? I was merely avoiding the brunt of the attack!” Shen Mei said righteously. “I’m a civil official. I can’t fight. The fact I ran fast enough not to hold him back was already impressive.”
Shen Ling said, “So, that hero?”
Shen Mei rubbed his nose. “His life or death is unknown. I didn’t see a body, so he should still be alive.”
Shen Ling really didn’t know what to say to him.
When it came to throwing his teammates under the bus, Shen Mei was truly a master.
“Why did you call me back?” Shen Ling asked. “You’re not going to ask me to poison someone again or do some other weird thing, are you?”
“I wouldn’t dare.” Shen Mei rubbed his nose. “After what happened to the He family, the Prince Jing is scared out of his wits. He handed over his military authority himself and is staying in his residence, growing vegetables and taking care of his health. Even the Prince Jing’s heir has started eating vegetarian and praying to Buddha. He’s planning to pick an auspicious day to shave his head and become a monk.”
Shen Ling: “…Really?”
“Would I lie to you?” Shen Mei sat with one leg crossed over the other. “I called you back this time because our residence has been returned, and I thought you could come stay for a couple of days. Also, Father’s death anniversary is coming up. We should fold some paper gold ingots for him and burn some paper money, so the old man won’t be poor in death after being poor all his life.”
As he spoke, Shen Mei’s eyes reddened.
Shen Ling’s heart softened. “All right. I’ll start folding tonight. We’ll burn plenty for Father when the time comes.”
“Thanks for going to the trouble.” Shen Mei wiped away nonexistent tears. “Of course, there’s one more important matter. Your older brother here would like to land a post as Censor-in-Chief. Little brother, if you have a way to—”
“Work for it yourself.” Shen Ling said flatly, “My ass is an ass too. Don’t treat someone else’s body like it doesn’t matter! Do you know how exhausted I am every night? His Majesty looks thin, but that thing of his is so * and so *, and when he pounds into me—”
Shen Mei hastily cut him off. “…Stop, stop, stop! Fine, I’ll work my way up on my own. I won’t bother your ass.”
“Now that’s a good brother. Handle your own business yourself.” Shen Ling patted Shen Mei’s shoulder, then suddenly remembered something and lowered his voice. “Oh, right. Brother, you know I only returned to normal not long ago. If you’ve heard anything about His Majesty, tell me all the details.”
Shen Mei asked, “What, trying to win his favor again?”
Shen Ling said, “I just want to understand what’s in His Majesty’s heart.”
“How would I know about something like that? It’s all imperial secrets…” Shen Mei took a sip of water. “No, actually, there is someone who knows.”
Shen Ling asked, “Who?”
“The Prince Jing’s heir. Back then, the Prince Jing and the former Emperor were close as brothers, and the Prince Jing’s heir was greatly favored. He could come and go from the palace as he pleased.” Shen Mei pushed himself up from the chair. “I’ll ask him and see if he can give you any more detailed information later.”
*
In the dead of night, Shen Ling tossed and turned, deciding he really needed to carefully analyze the emperor’s condition.
He put on a robe and lit a lamp. At the desk, he spread out a sheet of paper and drew a black circle in ink, then split it into two branches.
Physically speaking, based on his own firsthand experience, Li Sui was definitely addicted to sex. What adult could have a sex addiction that severe? Every night, the moment he saw Shen Ling, he got to work. He never even took a break, and once he started, he went on and on. Wasn’t he worried about wearing out his kidneys?
Physical symptoms reflected his mental state too. That excessive appetite was a form of compensation. Li Sui was under too much pressure as emperor. After all, there were so many memorials, and he was always keeping up appearances. Though Shen Ling didn’t know the details yet, it looked as if the emperor might have had a miserable childhood—his father didn’t care for him, his mother didn’t love him. All that family and emotional trauma was probably why he sometimes went crazy.
That was why he was so bloodthirsty and unpredictable.
Even now, whenever Shen Ling thought of the day at the Hunting Grounds, when Li Sui had held his hand and turned Second Young Master He into a pincushion with arrows, he felt a chill run through him.
Was he afraid? Of course he was. He’d been so terrified that his hands and feet hadn’t even felt like his own. After returning, he’d bathed for ages and still felt unclean, as if the vengeful ghosts were clinging to him.
He Yu probably wasn’t a good person, but that was the closest Shen Ling had ever come to killing someone with his own hands. That bloody scene had left a lasting psychological scar. Now, whenever he saw Li Sui’s face darken, he sometimes felt the emperor was about to kill him.
But sometimes Shen Ling felt Li Sui treated him very well. When they were close, whispering into each other’s ears, he almost got the illusion that they would be together forever.
Shen Ling felt as though he were hanging from a single strand of spider silk, unable to climb up or descend. Beneath him lay an abyss, and one misstep would mean utter ruin.
Li Sui didn’t seem to be sincere with him, either. Shen Ling’s parents had loved each other, and he’d seen what it looked like to truly love someone. The emperor doted on him, but not as if he were a person. More like… a cute little pet.
He provided emotional comfort, and the emperor gave him the rewards he wanted.
But sooner or later, the emperor would get tired of him.
Shen Ling thought he needed to make plans for the future. He didn’t want to be trapped in the palace forever. If one day he lost the emperor’s favor… he would have to find a way to save himself.
