Shen Ling clung to the emperor and wept in a theatrical, affected manner. His acting was a little lacking, though—he couldn’t manage to look as though he were weeping prettily, so all he could do was sob and wail in little hiccups, calling “Your Majesty” over and over in a sticky, cloying voice. It sounded as if someone were beating him.
Perhaps he was simply too noisy. A cold hand reached over and covered his mouth.
“If you keep crying, I’ll cut out your tongue and make you eat it.” The emperor looked at him with an expression that was almost a smile, his voice sinister.
Shen Ling shuddered at that and hurriedly shut his mouth.
His eyes were a light color, and when they were blurred with tears, he looked especially pitiful. He curled up in the emperor’s arms like a sparrow whose feathers had been soaked by the rain, fallen into someone’s palm: wretched, yet endearing.
The emperor, however, clearly felt no tenderness for him. He studied Shen Ling, as though turning something over in his mind, and gradually moved the hand covering his mouth higher. That hand was enormous. It was just about to cover his nose, so Shen Ling hurriedly stuck out his tongue and licked it.
The emperor: “……”
Shen Ling: “……”
Perhaps he hadn’t slept well. There were dark circles beneath the emperor’s eyes, and his gaze was still and heavy. His eyes were like a pair of ink-black jade stones. When he glared at Shen Ling, he looked as though he might swallow him alive.
Shen Ling met his gaze, his eyes wandering as he gradually began to feel guilty. Just then, for a split second, Shen Ling had thought the emperor wanted to smother him to death.
The killing intent flashed past, as though it had only been an illusion brought on by Shen Ling’s nerves. At last, the emperor eased his grip. He held Shen Ling with one arm, as if he were carrying a cat or a dog.
“I said I wouldn’t kill you. A promise once made must be kept.” The emperor’s voice was deep and magnetic; spoken close to one’s ear, it sounded like a lover murmuring softly. “Why did you lick my palm?”
Shen Ling looped both arms around the emperor’s neck and said in a trembling voice, “Your Majesty smells so good. I couldn’t help myself.”
The fingers of the emperor’s hand around his waist tightened.
Shen Ling was sensitive around the waist. He was both ticklish and pain-sensitive—and, of course, even more afraid of being dragged out by the emperor and beheaded. When that hand pinched his waist, it felt as if ten thousand bugs were crawling over him. He twisted instinctively, trying to shake the hand off, but the emperor’s grip was firm, steady, and painful.
Shen Ling thought miserably that the skin around his waist was probably already bruised purple.
The emperor raised an eyebrow. “Who taught you that?”
“What?” Shen Ling was confused. A second later, he figured out what the emperor meant, put on a lovestruck expression again, and fawned, “As for loving Your Majesty, I taught myself.”
The emperor: “Heh.”
That “heh” was dripping with sarcasm.
Shen Ling’s forehead started to sweat. Had he laid it on a bit too thick with the cheesy pickup lines?
Fortunately, the emperor didn’t press him. As if he’d heard a joke, he gave a faint laugh, then asked, “You’re young, and all your limbs are intact. Why don’t you think about making a name for yourself? Why are you only thinking about entering the palace?”
Shen Ling answered cautiously, “Naturally, because I like Your Majesty.”
The emperor’s gaze settled on him, and something thick and heavy seemed to churn in his eyes. He teased, “Like me? Then do you know what you’ll have to do after entering the palace?”
Shen Ling’s brain was working at full speed. Hearing that, it automatically latched onto the key words: what he’d have to do? What else could it be? Once he entered the palace, of course he’d be having sex!
He stole a glance at the emperor, wondering if he was hinting at something. But they were in full view of everyone, and there were so many guards in the room… His mind went to a few things unsuitable for children, and his face suddenly flushed bright red. The red spread from his cheeks to his ears, then down his neck.
The emperor watched his expression, his tone lifting slightly. “You…”
Shen Ling raised a hand to cut him off, then replied as calmly as he could, “I know. I’ll have to sleep with Your Majesty.”
The emperor: “……”
Shen Ling’s eyes wandered, too embarrassed to look at anyone. Pretending that the two of them were the only people in the great hall, he stammered out a few more bits of nonsense: “Your Majesty is wise and mighty, the manliest of men. It’s perfectly normal for you to like sleeping with men…I…Your Majesty, don’t worry. I have a very perky butt…”
The emperor: “………”
For a moment, Shen Ling thought he saw a hint of disdain in the emperor’s eyes.
“Heh.” The emperor laughed, and Shen Ling shuddered all over.
“Yes, someone like you…” The emperor spoke slowly, his grip strong. He raised his knee and nudged Shen Ling’s butt, then suddenly leaned in and said at his ear, full of malice, “You’re the easiest kind to get fucked to death in bed!”
How vulgar!
Shen Ling’s face went pale. They were far too close. He looked at the emperor’s eyes, his gaze falling from the man’s high nose to his sharply defined Adam’s apple, then to his fingers, and finally to the place he couldn’t see. His butt started to hurt in anticipation. After his lips trembled for a long while, he forced himself to suppress his fear and gave a thumbs-up, stammering out one more compliment: “Is that so? Your Majesty is so…impressive, and has incredible stamina. Truly a dragon among men!”
The emperor: “…………”
He rose abruptly and shook Shen Ling off his lap as if brushing away something filthy. Shen Ling tumbled down with a roll and slid beneath the desk, landing in a daze.
Oh no. He’d screwed up. His attempt at flattery had completely backfired!
Shen Ling’s heart sank. He instinctively sprang up to try to make amends, but as he lifted his head, it went thunk against the corner of the desk with a loud bang. Even the food and wine on top of it jumped. He immediately clutched the top of his head and cried out in pain. Tears of pain welled up, blurring his vision.
The pain left him unable to move for a moment. In the gloom beneath the desk, Shen Ling curled up in the cramped space, looking at the faint light around him and the emperor’s boots just inches away. In the silence, he was suddenly overcome by a sense of desolation.
Sigh. He really was like a dog.
A stray dog with nowhere to go.
The person beneath the desk had been still for a long time, with faint, pained gasps coming from him now and then. The emperor nudged the limp bundle with his foot and asked impatiently, “Are you dead?”
“Thank you for Your Majesty’s concern. I’m still alive!” Shen Ling hurriedly replied. He was trembling all over with pain, and his vision was still blurry. Something warm trickled from his hair. He crawled around beneath the desk, reached out, and grabbed the emperor’s calf for support as he tried to squeeze through the gap between the man and the desk. He didn’t forget to flatter him as he went: “Your Majesty, forgive me. I didn’t mean to…”
A cold hand reached over and pressed down on his head. It dabbed at his temple, and then Shen Ling saw a red smear spread across that pale hand.
Oh, shit. I’m bleeding.
Shen Ling stared blankly.
Thoughts of losing his composure in the emperor’s presence, being beheaded, and being beaten to death with a staff came to mind, and his body began trembling uncontrollably again.
The emperor rubbed the red between his fingertips, his lips pressed into a hard line. He stared at Shen Ling for a long time, then suddenly said, “Idiot.”
He’d been insulted.
Drip—
Shen Ling’s mind went blank for an instant. Then the fear, confusion, humiliation, and pain he had been suppressing for so long surged up all at once, a jumble of feelings turning into streams of tears that fell into the emperor’s palm like unending rain. They fell into the emperor’s palm like an unending rain.
After a long silence, that pale, cold hand reached out again. This time, the ruler’s heavy sleeve pressed against the wound on Shen Ling’s head.
“Don’t cry,” the emperor warned, then inexplicably added, “When you cry, you don’t look like him anymore.”
Shen Ling: “……” Oh, there’s the classic line.
So he wiped away his tears with his sleeve and forced himself to smile.
The emperor: “You don’t look like him when you smile, either.”
Shen Ling: “……” So hard to please.
He knelt on the ground, utterly dejected, at a loss for words and unsure what to say.
The emperor’s robe was black, patterned with a subtle dragon motif. Its heavy layers pooled like a mountain.
Looking at the mess around him, Shen Ling’s heart suddenly quieted. He thought that, since things were already going so badly, he might as well just tell the truth. He didn’t really want this job of selling his ass, anyway. If he died, maybe he could even return to his old home?
With a certain secret hope, Shen Ling said softly, “Your Majesty, actually, I…”
But before he could finish, a sudden commotion broke out beyond the hall doors.
The host of the day, Prince Jing’s heir Li Zhen, came rushing in with his party, bustling about like the random supporting character in a classic domestic-drama plot. Cheerfully rounding the screen, they came upon a sight they hadn’t been prepared for: behind the desk, the emperor was roughly pinning a young man between his legs.
Shen Ling: “……”
The emperor: “……”
Everyone: “…………”
The Prince Jing’s heir covered his face and cried, “See no evil, see no evil!!”
The Heir Apparent was quick on the uptake. With a wave of his hand, he covered the eyes of the nobles and hurriedly backed away, intending to thoughtfully close the door and leave the emperor some privacy.
“Where are you going? You haven’t received your reward yet. Come back, all of you.” The emperor’s lazy voice echoed through the great hall, stopping the line of people heading for the door.
He hauled the sluggish Shen Ling out from under the desk, wrapped him in his arms, and buried his face against the young man’s neck to take a deep breath. He looked thoroughly intoxicated.
“The gift the prince’s residence prepared today is excellent. I’ll accept it.”
The great hall was so silent you could hear a pin drop.
The Prince Jing’s heir’s eyes shifted, delight showing on his face. He hurriedly knelt and bowed. “As long as Your Majesty is pleased. It is our duty to ease Your Majesty’s worries.”
A smile played on the emperor’s face. He seemed either drunk or bewitched by beauty, a hazy mist clouding his eyes. “Third Brother, what do you want? Today, I’ll grant you anything.”
The Prince Jing’s heir’s eyes lit up. After considering his words, he said, “I have no great ambitions and ask for nothing. I only wish for my father’s good health. But the climate in the capital is cold and dry, and my father has been unwell for many days. He has even started coughing up blood. I hope Your Majesty will allow him to return to the southwest to recuperate.”
Shen Ling still had no idea what was going on. Pinned in the emperor’s arms like a rabbit held by the ears, he stared blankly at the face buried in his neck.
The emperor smelled of wine, but only faintly.
He wasn’t drunk at all.
“Third Brother is truly filial. It’s enough to move Heaven itself.” The emperor let out a long sigh. “You remind me of Father. Back then, he only caught a chill, but in the end, he never recovered…The pain of losing a father cuts to the heart. You and I are as close as brothers. How could I let Third Brother suffer the same fate?”
“With spring’s clear skies and pleasant scenery, it’s the perfect time to set out. Have the Directorate of Astronomy choose an auspicious date and send Imperial Uncle back to his fief.” The emperor lowered his eyes to the young man kneeling on the floor. “Third Brother is so filial; I’m ashamed by comparison. Starting tomorrow, you will go to Ten-Thousand-Peace Temple in my place to copy scriptures and pray to the Buddha, making offerings to our ancestors and fulfilling your filial duty.”
The Prince Jing’s heir remained kneeling, his expression hidden. But the veins stood out on the fingers resting at his side. He knelt upright, bowed deeply, and said each word with care: “Thank you for Your Majesty’s grace!”
“It’s getting late. The night is long, and a spring night is all too short. I shouldn’t stay any longer.” The emperor lifted Shen Ling in his arms and strode down the steps. At the doorway, he happened to run into the Prince Jing, who had hurried over. The middle-aged man walked with a powerful stride. He hardly looked like a seriously ill man.
The emperor didn’t make an issue of it. He glanced at the Prince Jing, and that look was full of meaning.
“Imperial Uncle is getting on in years. You’ll have to take good care of your health from now on.”
The Prince Jing’s expression was unreadable.
The emperor smiled, pleased. “To the palace.”
＊
It was Prince Jing Li Yong’s fiftieth birthday. Nobles from most of the capital had come to offer their congratulations, and even the emperor had personally written the character for “longevity” and sent it as a gift.
Li Yong had reached the age of fifty, held a high position, and commanded a large army in the southwest. He had assisted the emperor for three years, and once, everyone had been obliged to call him the Prince Regent.
But in recent years, his career has gone poorly. Ever since the emperor came of age, memorials impeaching him had poured in like snowflakes. From his food, clothing, daily life, and the things he said and did, to even keeping a dog—he’d been attacked for it all. He knew he had become an eyesore.
At the end of the year before last, his sworn enemy had set him up. They’d uncovered things they shouldn’t have, and he’d nearly been saddled with the charge of treason. With disaster looming, he had promptly submitted a memorial, returned power to the emperor, and retired to his home. Only then had things in court finally quieted down.
He’d been out of office for nearly two years now.
Bandits were rampant in the southwest. The court had repeatedly sent people to suppress them, but to no avail. Li Yong had submitted several memorials asking to return to service, but the emperor had rejected every one.
The emperor wasn’t going to let a tiger return to the mountains so easily.
The banquet today was meant to show submission and make peace with the emperor again.
Of course, he also wanted to place someone in the emperor’s harem who could use pillow talk to influence him. The emperor hadn’t accepted the women they’d sent in the past, but now that they knew what he liked, surely he wouldn’t refuse a man?
At first, when the emperor had beheaded two people right there today, the Prince Jing had thought: this little brat is drawing blood at my birthday banquet and showing me no respect. He must still hold a grudge against me. Fortunately, he had eventually taken one person away. His son had been kept behind as a hostage, but at least his military authority had returned to him.
It really was true that there was no gift you couldn’t give. If it wasn’t accepted, that just meant it hadn’t hit the mark.
“Zhen, was that someone you arranged for the emperor?” Watching the emperor’s departing back, the Prince Jing asked his son in a low voice.
“They’re all beauties my retainers gathered based on Xie Zhen’s appearance.” The Prince Jing’s heir, Li Zhen, still wore his false smile. He got up from the floor and took the roster his subordinate handed him. He glanced over it, his eyes passing over Shen Ling’s name. After hesitating for a moment, he furrowed his brow. “His Majesty certainly has unusual tastes.”
The Prince Jing: “What?”
Li Zhen tucked the roster into his sleeve. Looking grave, he thought for a long while before saying quietly, “He’s the younger son of Shen Censor, the man who struck his head against the floor and died in the great hall last year. He had a fever as a child that damaged his brain. He’s been an idiot since the age of three and can’t remember things. His older brother works under me now, so he should be easy enough to control. But if we want him to whisper in the emperor’s ear…with that foolish brain, I’m afraid it’ll be difficult.”
