Chapter 15 – He could be ruthless, could stand by coldly and watch him bang his head until it bled, but he couldn’t just watch him bang himself to death against the wall.

Chapter 15 – He could be ruthless, could stand by coldly and watch him bang his head until it bled, but he couldn’t just watch him bang himself to death against the wall.

Just as Xu Chenwen mentioned inviting him out for a few drinks when he had time, Shen Yu started craving alcohol. Tea was nice, but it just didn’t hit the spot like a good drink. Back home, Shen Yu planned to pick out a bottle and have a few drinks, but when he reached the liquor cabinet, he discovered it was locked!

Shen Yu: “……”

When did this happen? How come he didn’t know? And why would there be a lock on his own liquor cabinet? Uncle Wang wouldn’t take the initiative to do something like that—he’d only act if the owner specifically asked him to. Since Shen Yu hadn’t requested it, that only left one person, Yan Jin.

Shen Yu remained calm and collected: Never mind, he’d look into it later. For now, he just needed to get his hands on some wine. So he called out, “Uncle Wang.”

“Yes, Young Master Shen.”

“Please open the liquor cabinet. I need some wine.

At this, Uncle Wang stammered, “I’m sorry, Young Master Shen… The key to the liquor

cabinet was kept by the young master. I don’t know where it is.”

“……”

Shen Yu took a deep breath, crumpled up his calm composure, and tossed it into the Pacific Ocean. He picked up the phone.

Yan Jin had a dinner engagement tonight and wouldn’t be home for dinner. Once the call connected, Shen Yu cut straight to the chase: “Where’s the key to the liquor cabinet?”

“What?”

“The key to the liquor cabinet. Don’t play dumb.”

There was no way he’d play along. Yan Jin pretended not to hear or understand. “My signal’s bad here. Let’s talk when I get home.”

“You—”

“Beep… beep…”

Shen Yu stared at the disconnected call and began to seriously reflect: had he recently been too harsh with him, causing Yan Jin to get a little cocky and start running wild

It wasn’t his place to meddle in matters between the master and his servant, but Yan Jin had been raised by Uncle Wang since childhood and was practically family. Uncle Wang spoke with a sense of unease: “Young Master Shen, I think Master Yan locked the liquor cabinet for your own good… he wasn’t trying to upset you.”

Uncle Wang still remembered when Yan Jin insisted on locking the cabinet; as he locked it, he’d said, “Drink, drink, drink! Aren’t all those business dinners and parties enough to fill him up? You say, if he comes back and has a sip or two, that’s fine, but drinking it like water? 

Sooner or later, he’ll end up with health problems!”

Shen Yu wouldn’t take his frustration out on an innocent person; his tone toward Uncle Wang remained gentle: “I’ll ask him when he gets back.”

Shen Yu looked at the lock on the liquor cabinet. Once his frustration subsided, an indescribable feeling welled up inside him. This lock also meant… that Yan Jin was keeping an eye on him. It had been a long time since anyone had managed the small details of his life. Shen Li wouldn’t do it, and Shen Mo had let go years ago. The staff hired to care for him at home would always cater to his every whim; whatever Shen Yu said went. Whether it was dressing, eating, or drinking, they would simply go along with him.

Going along with him wasn’t the same as spoiling him; they simply didn’t dare speak up, or chose not to. He kept a certain distance from the people he hired, and they, in turn, stayed at a distance—they just did their jobs, without any extra affection or concern. He remained within his own circle, allowing himself to care less and less.

He’s keeping an eye on me… Shen Yu licked the taste of tea from his lips. It was a gentleman’s tea—subtle and fragrant—a flavor that didn’t really suit him. It didn’t suit him, but he didn’t dislike it.

“Uncle Wang… could you brew me another cup of tea?” Shen Yu said.

As for Yan Jin, after hanging up the phone, the person dining with him teased, “That sounded like a call from home. Did you just hang up like that?”

The signal in the restaurant was perfectly fine. Yan Jin raised his glass: “He’s throwing a tantrum. Young Master Shen has his quirks, but I certainly won’t indulge him.”

Forced relationships never work out, the man thought to himself. He gave Yan Jin a knowing look and said calmly, “After all, he’s the heir to the Shen family. This marriage won’t do you any harm. Marriage is all about practicality these days. If you play your cards right, you’ll definitely climb the social ladder.”

He advised Yan Jin to seize the “opportunity.” Yan Jin clinked glasses with him: “I’ll definitely make the most of it.”

He didn’t specify what exactly he’d “seize.

The two shared a knowing smile.

The meal didn’t drag on too long. Yan Jin hired a designated driver to take him home. As soon as he walked through the door, Shen Yu was waiting for him, and his first words were,

“Where’s the key?”

Yan Jin didn’t rush to answer; instead, he asked, “What would you like to drink?”

Shen Yu crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “The second bottle in the third row.”

Yan Jin nodded, pulled out the key, and handed it to Uncle Wang. “Uncle Wang, pour him half a glass, then put it back in the locked cabinet. Remember to give me the key back.”

Even Shen Yu didn’t see this coming. He looked at him in disbelief. “You carry the key with you?”

“Yeah, this is the only key at home I hold back from you—I’ve got to keep it safe, don’t I?”

Yan Jin said meaningfully. Shen Yu caught the implication in his words, tapped his fingers lightly on his arm, and remained silent. “The only one I hold back”—which meant the rest were all accessible… How could that be? Did that mean Shen Yu could even guess the combination to Yan Jin’s safe?

Shen Yu really wanted to snort in disbelief, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to laugh, because he knew Yan Jin was serious.

“I actually picked out the lock myself,” Uncle Wang said as he poured the wine, placing the key back into Yan Jin’s hand. Yan Jin held up the key for Shen Yu to see. “It’s quite a fancy piece—could almost pass for a work of art. I was thinking of buying a chain to hang it from, so I could wear it as a necklace. Not a bad idea, right?”

Shen Yu: “……”

“Mr. Yan sure is trendy,” he said dryly.

Before heading to his room, Shen Yu had planned to drink a whole bottle—the entire thing and spend the evening sipping it slowly for some relaxation. But now, the drink handed to him was only half a glass, drastically cutting back on his intended intake. Shen Yu picked up the pitiful half-glass: “Why did you lock the liquor cabinet?”

Yan Jin sat down on the sofa, his answer perfectly prepared: “You’re my roommate. If you end up in trouble from drinking, I’d have to call an ambulance for you. I feel it’s my responsibility to prevent problems before they happen and reduce any unnecessary workload.”

Yan Jin had not only prepared his answer in advance but also braced himself for another round of Shen Yu’s sarcasm—or even a tantrum. He said, “I won’t give you the key. Of course, if you get a new liquor cabinet or…”

“I won’t.”

Shen Yu neither flew into a rage nor spoke in a sarcastic tone; his voice was, in fact, perfectly normal. This took Yan Jin by surprise. He froze for a moment, then saw Shen Yu give him a deep look before picking up the glass of wine in front of him and sipping it slowly, as if savoring some rare fine wine.

In that glance lay an emotion Yan Jin had never seen before.

Like a breeze ruffling the fine ripples on the water’s surface—a mere tremor, yet enough to startle the waterfowl on the shore into spreading their wings and soaring high. Yan Jin’s heart gave a sudden jolt. He cleared his throat, but his voice came out somewhat choked: “You…”

“Wine isn’t a necessity for me. Lock it up if you like.” Shen Yu didn’t give him a chance to speak. “There’s no need to carry the key around—it’s such a hassle. Give it to Uncle Wang; let him keep an eye on my intake. It’s the same either way.”

Shen Yu tilted his head back and drained the last drop of wine from his glass. The line of his neck was exquisite, tempting one to take a bite, yet the words that rolled out of his throat were cruel.

“As for the rest… just leave me alone. Don’t get close to me, Yan Jin. I can’t give you what you want.”

Yan Jin narrowed his eyes dangerously. “How will you know unless you try?”

Halfway through the glass, Shen Yu suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him. He set the glass down, left a curt “I’m going to bed,” and left Yan Jin standing there alone as he retreated to his own bedroom.

Uncle Wang came over to clean up and cast a worried glance at Yan Jin: “Young Master…”

But Yan Jin was smiling: “He’s making concessions.”

Yan Jin placed the key in Uncle Wang’s hand, his words seemingly directed at Uncle Wang yet sounding more like he was speaking to himself: “Uncle, he hasn’t even realized it himself—he’s never been able to truly be ruthless with me. Do you know what that reminds me of?”

Uncle Wang shook his head. Yan Jin picked up the wine glass and ran his thumb over it; the smile at the corner of his mouth fell away. “It’s like he’s begging me for help, but he doesn’t dare—he doesn’t dare drag me into his pit of despair.”

Uncle Wang’s eyes widened slightly.

“He lost his mother at five. His father suffered the pain of losing both his wife and brother one after another, and his mental health crumbled. He was so young, yet he stayed by his father’s side the whole time—it was as if he was holding the family together. Even an adult couldn’t bear that. And him? Doesn’t he feel the pain?”

Not speaking of pain doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it.

“Before he fell in love, there were things he couldn’t quite see clearly. After going through a relationship, he gained a deeper understanding of himself—he saw his true, complete self—and that frightened him.”

Yan Jin tapped the glass. An empty glass, no matter how clear the sound or how beautiful the appearance is, it’s still hollow inside.

“In college, there was a period when he quietly grew close to a psychology professor. At first, I thought it was for his father’s sake, but later I realized that couldn’t be right. Uncle Shen has his own personal doctor—one who knows his condition and medical history well, and whose treatment has been effective. He wouldn’t switch doctors lightly. So what was he doing it for? Or rather… for whom?”

Uncle Wang was so stunned he couldn’t speak. Fortunately, Yan Jin didn’t need anyone to say anything at that moment; he really is…talking with himself.

“He’s urged me—even pressured me—to let go, many times. But if I let go, I wouldn’t be Yan Jin anymore.”

After speaking, Yan Jin set the glass down again. He had already handed the keys to Uncle Wang. “If he wants to drink when I’m not home, keep an eye on how much he has. He’s a troublemaker who loves to stir things up—someone’s got to watch him. Just treat him the same way you treat me. Don’t worry, he won’t hold it against you.”

Uncle Wang understood. He nodded and said with a sigh, “You young people and your ways…”

“Good things come to those who wait,” Yan Jin said, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders. “It’s taken me all these years, but I’ve finally nurtured a promising young man. Even if he carries emotional scars, I can help him heal them.”

If Shen Yu could hear these words, who knows what he would think. He was in his bedroom, with the lights off, using the light streaming in through the window to feel his way toward the bedside table, fishing out a bottle of medicine.

He rarely took this medicine anymore. Shen Yu had a high tolerance for alcohol—the kind who could drink a thousand cups without getting drunk. Drinking more alcohol could serve as a substitute for the medicine to help him sleep; to put it bluntly, it was a way to numb his brain. There was a time when just the sight of the pills made him feel irritated and resistant, so he simply switched to drinking before bed. But he knew that heavy, long-term drinking was very harmful to his health.

There was a time when what drove away both the pills and the alcohol were scraps of paper covered with handwritten quotes; the beautiful calligraphy helped weave beautiful dreams for him. But the more beautiful something was, the more it frightened him.

After they got married and moved in together, he kept the pills on hand, but he hadn’t taken a single one. Shen Yu rolled the bottle between his palms; his body heat warmed the cold bottle. A moment later, he put it back exactly as it was. He wouldn’t need it tonight either.

Yan Jin… What was he supposed to do about Yan Jin?

He’d exhausted every possible approach back in college. If Shen Yu were in Yan Jin’s shoes, he’d have given up on him long ago: why bother with someone who was so capricious and cold-hearted? What was the point? But Yan Jin wasn’t having any of that. He was as stubborn as a rock, set on his course, and Shen Yu had run out of ideas.

Some people hit a brick wall and know to turn back. Shen Yu could be ruthless, could stand by coldly and watch him bang his head until it bled, but Yan Jin wouldn’t back down even with a bloody head… Shen Yu couldn’t just watch him bang himself to death against the wall.

Of all the candidates Shen Li had proposed for political marriage, he was the one. If only he weren’t there, if only… Shen Yu drew a soft breath and pulled the blanket over his head: There were no “ifs.” Making such assumptions now is pointless.

TRANSLATOR’S CORNER: I am not a native speaker of either Chinese or English. I basically MTL and edit the text, sometimes I also use some sites for reference. I can’t guarantee that everything here is accurate, But I try to stick to the author’s work as much as possible. Please feel to comment any mistakes🙂🤗.