Chapter 13 – Outrageous

Editor: mako

Proofreader: kllua

When the workers delivered the refrigerator to the main door of the Bai residence, all the neighbors in YuQing were looking with their necks craned out. For Mr. Bai to buy a refrigerator to put at home, he must have real money.

At this moment, Huo ZhenYe had rolled up his sleeves and was carrying it in.

“Sir, shall we carry it in for you?”

“No need.” Although Bai Zhun did not mention it before, he would definitely hate having strangers entering his house.

In the end, even though the refrigerator was not as tall as a person, it still took a lot of effort to move it. After moving it to the central room, Huo ZhenYe placed it down for a rest.

At this time, Bai Zhun’s bamboo wheelchair rolled over without any sound. “Ice cream can be placed into this thing?”

“Yes, the ice cream will be delivered soon. You can drink the soda first.” Huo ZhenYe gasped for breath before continuing, “After taking a rest, I will move it into your kitchen.”

Just like this, and he had to rest?

Bai Zhun called out, “Ah Xiu.” 

Ah Xiu moved in response and held the refrigerator in her hands before steadily moving it to the kitchen.

Huo ZhenYe was dumbfounded. Ah Xiu, with a waist like a willow, turned out to be a strong woman.

Bai Zhun gave him a glance and asked with an unimpressed yet proud tone, “Where is the soda?”

Huo ZhenYe shook his head and smiled. The brother was strange, so it was normal for the  sister to be weird too. Turning around, he carried in two boxes of soda before taking the chilled ones out from the refrigerator for Bai Zhun to drink.

There was tangerine soda in the glass bottle, and the color was very beautiful. As soon as the bottle cap was pried open, tiny bubbles burst up from the bottom of the bottle. Bai Zhun took a sip.

Choking, gas rushed out of his nose. Just as he was about to throw it aside, he smacked his tongue and felt that it tasted not bad. “Open me a bottle of the black one too.”

The black one was smoked plum soda. Huo ZhenYe, who was willing to wait on Bai Zhun, opened it and handed it to him. He even opened a bottle for Ah Xiu.

Ah Xiu took it and held it in her hand. However, she did not drink it and only stood in the courtyard. Letting the sun shine on the glass bottle, she gazed at the small bubbles at the bottom of the bottle.

Meanwhile, between Bai Zhun and Huo ZhenYe, one was sitting in a wheelchair while the other was squatting beside him. Each with a bottle of tangerine soda, they watched Ah Xiu play with the glass bottle in the courtyard.

Huo ZhenYe asked, “Where shall I sleep tonight?” 

Bai Zhun laughed in anger, “Are you not ashamed of your shamelessness?”

“Second Liu escaped, and I’m worried for you.” Huo ZhenYe continued to be shameless. After all, no matter what, he has to stay here today, and he would not leave even if he was being chased out.

Bai Zhun sniffed. “It is you who caught Second Liu. You should worry about yourself instead.”

“Well…I am worried for myself, so you can protect me in exchange then.” Huo ZhenYe immediately changed his mind as he followed along like water flowing its course. He even put on a show of measuring the paper dolls in Bai Zhun’s house with his eyes. “This General Yue looks mighty. He would definitely be able to protect me.”

Bai Zhun shot a glance at him and said knowingly, “Fine, I will let him stand at the head of your bed at night.”

Huo ZhenYe was a little surprised. He did not expect that Bai Zhun would really be willing to let him stay.

Bai Zhun’s expression was already bad, and upon seeing Huo ZhenYe’s surprise, it became worse. Unwilling to resign himself to this, he then intimidated him, “My house is haunted at night.”

“Well, then should I squeeze in with you?” After saying that, Huo ZhenYe gave a shocked exclamation and covered his face. A yellow figure had flown out of the house, rushed at him fiercely, and pecked at his hair.

Waving his hand to chase away the yellow figure, he looked up and only saw a yellow siskin¹“黄雀” (Eurasian siskin) is a yellow small bird. If interested, you can read more about it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurasian_siskin the size of a pinball. Round and fat, it was bouncing around like a cannonball.

Huo ZhenYe covered his head in surprise. He stared at the little thing jumping around and asked, “You even reared a bird?”

“I do not keep living things,” Bai Zhun replied meaningfully as he gave Huo ZhenYe a glance.

As if Huo ZhenYe’s two ears were just decorations, he pretended not to hear Bai Zhun’s words. Looking carefully at the yellow siskin, he felt that it resembled a real bird in every aspect. However, it turned out to be made from paper. Lifelike, it had been used as an attack cannon by its owner.

After the yellow siskin finished pecking Huo ZhenYe, it proudly flapped its wings, swung its tail, and flew onto Ah Xiu’s shoulder. Twisting its neck, it then combed the feathers that Huo ZhenYe ruffled before opening its beak towards him. Despite the lack of sound, it felt as if one could hear chirps coming from it.

Huo ZhenYe looked at the yellow siskin before looking at Bai Zhun. It was truly like his master. It was such a small thing, but it dared to cross him.

Huo ZhenYe asked curiously, “Are there only two living people in your whole residence?” 

His original intention was to say Bai Zhun and Ah Xiu, but Bai Zhun’s eyes had flashed when he acquiesced silently.

Huo ZhenYe went momentarily silent. The more mysterious Bai Zhun was, the more he wanted to understand him. As someone who had grown up between a pile of paper, it was not easy to have a living person accompanying him. However, Ah Xiu could not speak and was intellectually impaired.

Here, Huo ZhenYe could not tell what the feeling in his heart was. Swallowing it all down, he asked as if nothing had happened, “What would you like to eat for dinner? Steamed pork with rice flour in lotus leaf? Creamy Portuguese chicken? Or would you like to have something lighter like chicken porridge?”

“Creamy Portuguese chicken.” Bai Zhun had never eaten that before.

Hearing that, Huo ZhenYe immediately drove his car out to buy it. He was the dignified Seventh Young Master of the Huo family, but at his moment, he was about to become Bai Zhun’s attendant.

When he returned, he brought back a table of Western dishes – creamy Portuguese chicken, baked clams, and spaghetti bolognese. There were even two kinds of soup, tomato beef, and cream mushroom.

Although Huo ZhenYe bought enough for three, there were only him and Bai Zhun at the table. Nonetheless, he did not find it strange, as Ah Xiu was a girl and might be a little shy. It was then considered normal for her not to eat with them.

Bai Zhun watched as Huo ZhenYe twirled and ate the spaghetti with a fork. Picking up a pair of bamboo chopsticks himself, he felt that nothing could compare with this. After all, how could one eat noodles without chopsticks?

After that, he nitpicked, “These noodles are not cooked fully. They are hard.”

Even then, he still tasted a few bites of each dish. While the chicken in the creamy Portuguese chicken dish remained untouched, all the potatoes were eaten.

Sweet, soft, and mushy. Here, Huo ZhenYe summed up Bai Zhun’s taste. It turned out that Bai Zhun had a taste preference of an old lady.

In the end, Huo ZhenYe polished away the rest of Bai Zhun’s dishes. He then got himself a recliner and sat in the courtyard. With the gramophone playing a record, he felt like an old man.

At this moment, two knocks sounded from the door. When Ah Xiu went to open the door, Huo ZhenYe craned his neck from the courtyard and saw Han Zhu standing in the hallway.

Not expecting to meet Huo ZhenYe here again, Han Zhu gave him a nod.

Huo ZhenYe also nodded back to her. None of them mentioned what happened at the Han family courtyard.

Han Zhu bowed slightly. “Seventh Master, I am here to retrieve the items meant to be burned on my father’s hundredth day of death.”

“The flower basket is ready, but the paper boat has to be made again. I will deliver it to you then.”

Despite picking up the flower basket, Han Zhu was not in a hurry to leave. She said to Bai Zhun, “Seventh Master, I want to dissolve my marriage with Big Liu in front of my father’s grave. I am here to ask Seventh Master to act as a witness.”

This marriage was something arranged by Third Master Han for his daughter when he was alive. There was even a marriage contract and a witness who was Bai Zhun.

At that time, Bai Zhun had found it too troublesome and did not turn up. However, he did send gifts and received something in return through this matchmaking. Here, he should return them back.

Bai Zhun nodded, “I agree.”

Han Zhu bowed again. “Thank you, Seventh Master.” Saying that, she carried the flower basket and left the Bai residence.

“The twenty-eighth is Third Master Han’s hundredth day of death.” Huo ZhenYe suddenly recalled Second Liu’s escape. Even if he did not go back to the Han family’s courtyard, he would still definitely visit his master’s grave.

Bai Zhun glanced at him without any change to his expression and voice.

Huo ZhenYe muttered to himself for a moment before saying frankly to Bai Zhun, “I will notify the precinct.”

As Bai Zhun still needed to create the paper boat for Third Master Han, he turned his wheelchair around and entered the house. Huo ZhenYe thought that he was angry and wanted to defend himself, “Through all this, Su ManLi is innocent.”

Killing indiscriminately, Second Liu’s choice was one of the beauties of the world of flowers. Even if it were not Su ManLi who died, it would have been one of the remaining ten. Su ManLi was just unlucky.

“It is up to you.” The debt he had towards the third door was already returned. If Third Master Han was not satisfied, he could come to him through his dreams.

Bai Zhun sat at the table and lit a white candle.

Using a bamboo knife, he cut the thin bamboo into strips before polishing each strip until it was glossy. He then stacked the thin bamboo together, forming the ship frame.

After that, he spread out some yellow paper, ground various colors of ink, and painted the exterior of the boat.

This was the first time that Huo ZhenYe saw Bai Zhun’s skills. From the door, he looked as Bai Zhun used both of his hands to paint. While one was painting the tiger head for the front of the boat, the other was painting the lotus leaves for the bottom of the boat.

It was as if the two hands had their own separate masters as they each performed their respective functions.

Bai Zhun’s attention was simultaneously split between two things. While he was painting the boat’s exterior, he was also glancing at Huo ZhenYe from the corner of his eye. It seemed that when Huo ZhenYe was making a ruckus, he was unstoppable. However, when he was silent, he would not even say a single word.

Huo ZhenYe felt Bai Zhun’s eyes on him and asked, “What is the use of making this boat?”

At this time, Bai Zhun tiger’s head was completed, and he was currently adding water ripples to the lotus leaves. “It is to send ghosts off.”

When the bridge and boat were burned on the hundredth day, the dead would cross the river in a paper boat. This was the time for the ghosts detained in the living world to enter into the netherworld.

Huo ZhenYe, who studied in a private school for several years, received a Western-style education, and even went abroad to study, felt that there was no other country like China in their handling of the dead.

They burn winter clothing, food, bridges, boats, paper horses, and money. If he had not seen the ghosts with his own eyes, he would not have believed that there were such things in the world.

While Bai Zhun lit a candle and continued making the paper boat, Huo ZhenYe sat down and waited for him. Seeing that the frame and exterior were completed, he thought Bai Zhun was about to be finished.

However, unexpectedly, Bai Zhun started constructing people on the ship. There were ten crews on both sides of the ship, each with a person manning them at the bow. It was only after completing them that Bai Zhun loosened his wrist.

With the candle flame suddenly extinguished, Bai Zhun put down the bamboo knife.

Even though there was obviously enough light in the room, Bai Zhun still lit candles. To that, Huo ZhenYe did not ask why and only stared at the paper boat.

The paper boat was extremely exquisite, and all the doors and windows on it could be opened. Glancing at Bai Zhun’s fingertips, Huo ZhenYe wondered how such skills could be honed.

Instead of seeing the boat as a burial boat to send the dead off, Huo ZhenYe had also regarded it as a high-end handicraft that would be burned off in one day.

Bai Zhun rubbed his fingertips. “What are you looking at?”

“I think this can be put in a glass cabinet and displayed in the art museum.”

Bai Zhun laughed lightly. How could there be a world-famous funeral paper craftsman in the world?

“What is this?” Huo ZhenYe asked while pointing to a wooden chair on the bow deck.

“This is Third Master Han’s seat.”

“I know. What I meant was, what are these two next to it for?” Who was it left for?

To that, Bai Zhun did not answer, and his wheelchair rolled directly into the bedroom. As Huo ZhenYe followed a few steps after him, Bai Zhun’s eyes narrowed.

Did he truly plan to sleep on his bed?

Huo ZhenYe sighed, “I will carry you up to the bed.”

That sounded even worse!

Here, Bai Zhun rushed through the doorway. With the bedroom door slamming shut after him, Huo ZhenYe bumped his nose against the bamboo door. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he asked, “Where do I sleep then?”

Although Bai Zhun remained silent, Ah Xiu appeared. As she pointed to the attic, Huo ZhenYe followed her up and carried a small bamboo bed down. Ah Xiu even brought him a thin blanket and pillow, gesturing to him to spend the night in the central room.

It was Bai Zhun who instructed Ah Xiu to do all this. Although Huo ZhenYe was given a bed to sleep in, there were paper dolls everywhere in the central room and he wanted to see whether he would become scared after sleeping a night there.

Meanwhile, Huo ZhenYe moved the bamboo bed to the side of the courtyard. As he gazed at the stars under the moonlight, he slowly said to all the paper dolls in the house, “Brothers, don’t look anymore. It is not as if I have an extra eye.”

Here, the “Erlang Sheng²“二郎神” (Erlang Sheng) is a Chinese god with a third truth-seeing eye in the middle of his forehead.” paper doll stared at him with three empty eyes. While the other paper dolls had two undotted eyes, it had three.

After his words, the paper yellow siskin also leaped onto his bed and jumped around on his pillow. It even made a nest in Huo ZhenYe’s hair and slept comfortably.

Huo ZhenYe could not help turning over, causing the yellow siskin to fall out of his hair.

The bird had a similar temperament to Bai Zhun. Even though it could not make a sound, it used its sharp beak to poke Huo ZhenYe’s head in retaliation. At this moment, Huo ZhenYe suddenly thought of something. He used his big palm to hold it in place and rubbed its head. “You little thing wants to sleep with me. Does it mean that your master also wants to sleep with me?”

Bai Zhun opened his eyes as he choked with anger. He knew he should not have given him a blanket and let him freeze him to death!

*Translator’s Notes:

I love indulgent and shameless Huo ZhenYe cause it is the way to Bai Zhun’s heart haha

• 1
  “黄雀” (Eurasian siskin) is a yellow small bird. If interested, you can read more about it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurasian_siskin
• 2
  “二郎神” (Erlang Sheng) is a Chinese god with a third truth-seeing eye in the middle of his forehead.