Chapter 83 – Loving Each Other and Getting Along

83 – Loving Each Other and Getting Along

Translator: tamago

Editor: Yin

The next day when they saw each other, the atmosphere between them was still a little awkward.

The night before, Xu Xiran took the initiative to send Fang Mo a message. The content of it was nothing new, and it was nothing more than a “what are you doing” kind of finding-something-to-say message. Although Fang Mo replied, his attitude was much colder than usual. In the past, even if he didn’t respond with “thinking of you”, he would at least ask “what about you?” after his response. After that, the two would usually then have a nice, sweet talk with each other, and if that was not fulfilling enough, they would also call. 

Last night, he ignored Xu Xiran for a long time, before saying [“I’m going to sleep.”]

Xu Xiran replied back to him, [“Goodnight.”]

The conversation then ended.

Fang Mo felt hurt. It wasn’t that he wanted to fight with Xu Xiran either. But since Xu Xiran did something wrong, he should have at least given him a formal “I’m sorry”, right? He clearly had said “I’m upset”, so couldn’t Xu Xiran have just said a simple “I was wrong”?

Fang Mo didn’t care at all whether or not he dared to do this next time, but he was adamant about having this kind of approach. To just pretend that nothing had happened, without even saying a line of coaxing, and to just play dead was simply too much.

Fang Mo was angry all night, but when the time came the next day, he still went to Xu Xiran’s exam room to pick him up. 

Before their quarrel yesterday, they had agreed that they would go to a ramen shop nearby for lunch after the exam, and then go back to pick up their bags after they were done. Since there was no mention of any plan changes, he had to keep his word.

When Xu Xiran saw him, he immediately ran over with a smile on his face. But very quickly, he noticed Fang Mo’s cold demeanor and also became quiet and reserved.

~

The two silently arrived at the ramen shop, silently lined up to get a number, and silently ate their noodles while facing each other.

Xu Xiran was internally panicking. He couldn’t sleep well last night.

He had done something reckless and inappropriate, and it was indeed his own fault. But what’s done has been done. There was no way to go back in time to make amends, and everything that needed to be explained had been explained, so with Fang Mo holding his breath and refusing to talk to him, he didn’t know what to do.

In addition to guilt, he also felt somewhat down. Fang Mo was actually angry with him, and his anger didn’t go away overnight. Having known each other for so long, this was a first. Fang Mo had always been accommodating to him, so to actually be irritated by him showed that he really went too far this time. But since he had always been accommodating, why couldn’t he be accommodating this time? He should’ve at least given him a yellow card¹Reference to a yellow card as a warning of a foul in sports before giving him a red card. With no warning at all, how would he know that Fang Mo would hate this kind of behavior? Besides, he didn’t mean to do this and knew it was wrong.

He wondered if he had been spoiled by his pampering. Since the two had established their relationship, he had deliberately bullied Fang Mo too many times, and couldn’t stop himself from wanting to see his red, teary-eyed expression with his teardrops pattering down his cheeks. After crying, Fang Mo would never argue back with him, so he only wanted more.

A person’s patience always has its limits. Xu Xiran thought about it and suddenly felt a little sad. He must have hit a wall, and Fang Mo’s love for him could not handle any more tolerance. If he did whatever he wanted, he would probably get dumped.

He looked at Fang Mo, who was eating his noodles with his head down, not looking back at him, and felt anxious inside, not knowing how to redeem himself.

~

After Fang Mo finished his last mouthful of noodles, he raised his head and found that Xu Xiran was looking at him.

“What are you looking at,” he said, purposely turning his head.

Subsequently, the hand that he just put down was then held by the person across from him from underneath the table.

“I promise that in the future, I will never bother you during your phone calls ever again,” Xu Xiran quietly said as he held his hand.

Fang Mo thought to himself, what the hell is this, that’s not the point? He didn’t mind doing bad things with Xu Xiran, he was only mad at him for not apologizing or coaxing him and deflecting the blame after knowing he was upset, and then trying to play dead to get away with it.

Would it kill him to simply say sorry?

He was still mad, but when he saw that he was clearly trying to express goodwill, his heart softened in an instant.

“I really didn’t know that you were calling your family,” Xu Xiran looked at him earnestly as he emphasized the same nonsense he had said yesterday, “I only knew that you had the same ringtone for Zou Shun, which is why I had this misconception. In fact, I only wanted to tease you, I didn’t intend to really…”

“Okay, okay,” Fang Mo’s face turned red, “I’ve heard all this before, tell me something new.”

Xu Xiran thought hard, and then said with confidence: “Your butt is round.”

“……”

“When I said it was pointy, I only meant it figuratively. You’re skinny, so when you sit on me, your bones jab my leg, and with your weight… Even though you’re skinny, you’re still almost 1.8 meters, right? But it’s not that I don’t like it when you sit on me. I was only joking around, and if you don’t find it funny, I won’t say that kind of stuff in the future.”

Hearing this made Fang Mo angry but also made him want to laugh. He shook his head and was unable to say a word.

“If you like to sit on me, then I’ll go work out and focus on my legs.” Xu Xiran looked at him carefully, shaking him with his hand under the table, “Then in the future, you can sit on me as long as you want.”

In the end, Fang Mo still laughed. Despite all the chaos and the inability to grasp a single point, he was still quite likable.

Upon seeing this, Xu Xiran immediately closed his mouth, his face lit up, and he looked at Fang Mo with anticipation in his eyes.

Fang Mo decided to give him another step in the right direction and hinted, somewhat awkwardly, “Stop blaming yourself. Don’t you have anything else to say to me?” 

As long as he said he was sorry, Fang Mo would immediately tell him that it was okay.

After hearing those words, Xu Xiran hesitated for a while before asking, “Can I say something?”

Fang Mo suddenly had a bad premonition in his heart.  He frowned: “…What do you want to say?”

Xu Xiran licked his lips, and said solemnly: “I don’t want you to use the same ringtone for me as other people.”

“ ……”

“If you can’t, that’s fine,” Seeing him suddenly stiffen up, Xu Xiran curled his lips and turned his head, “I won’t force you.”

But a few seconds later, he muttered softly, “But it shouldn’t be that hard, right?”

After he said this, he looked at Fang Mo again, and looked surprised, “Why are you unhappy again?”

Fang Mo thought to himself: You’re shitting me.

He also thought: Goddammit.

Then after holding back for a while, he took a deep breath and thought: FUCK.

~

Xu Xiran couldn’t understand why it was so difficult and troublesome to set a different ringtone for him.

He used to only know that Fang Mo had set a separate ringtone for Zou Shun and felt a hint of jealousy, but didn’t think much about it. But after finding out that he was in the same group as him, his mind began to stir. There should be some clear distinctions between a good friend and a boyfriend, right? What’s wrong with wanting to feel a little more special in front of your lover? This could just simply be a sweet thing to do with no cost whatsoever, so why was Fang Mo so unwilling to do so?

In the past, it was fine if he didn’t have this awareness before. But now after making it clear, still refusing is just too much. Xu Xiran believed that Fang Mo’s behavior was undoubtedly a symptom of being a “straight male”, and that even if he was bent, he still wouldn’t be able to change that part of him.

The two walked side by side towards the dormitory building, and the atmosphere became more tense.

Fang Mo had a straight face and it was unclear what he was thinking. Xu Xiran also had a bit of grievance in his heart, and neither of them took the initiative to speak up along the way.

When they got to the third floor and had to separate, Xu Xiran saw Fang Mo rushing towards his room without saying a word, and couldn’t help but speak up, “Let me go get you something, I’ll be quick.”

 Fang Mo turned his back to him, and said in a flat tone, “Oh.”

~

If you date a fool, sooner or later they will piss you off.

Fang Mo returned to his dormitory, sat down on the bed, and didn’t move for a long time.

While Xu Xiran took his exam in the morning, he had already packed his luggage. Since he had to come back after winter vacation anyway, there weren’t many things he had to bring back. The heavy things had already been shipped ahead of time, and the rest filled up less than a backpack.

According to the original plan, he had no intention of going back to his own dorm to sleep last night. Ever since that time, they haven’t had many chances to be intimate, and the last night of no interruptions before going home was supposed to have been a wonderfully ideal night. But now it was all completely ruined, and the culprit was completely unaware of the problem.

After today’s miscommunication, Fang Mo couldn’t even figure out how to systematically explain to him what he was upset about. There were simply too many places where Xu Xiran was an asshole, and he deserved to be angry.

In the end, Xu Xiran was just an idiot.

While he was lost in thought, his phone rang, and it was the ringtone of his special group. Fang Mo quickly took it out and saw that it was from home.

The last time Fang Mo had gone home was a month ago. His parents were anxious, knowing that he was coming back today they couldn’t wait to ask where he was and if he had gotten on the bus yet.

After hanging up the phone, Fang Mo awkwardly thought that if he had known, then he wouldn’t have stayed with this annoying guy at school and would’ve gone home a few days earlier to make his parents happy.

He stared at his phone for a while, then thought about how it indeed was a problem for all his close people to have the same ringtone. Just now, he had thought that it was Xu Xiran who had called him.

He opened his contacts, found Xu Xiran’s name, and clicked on the settings. He pondered for a while on what kind of special ringtone he should choose for his boyfriend. After playing the phone music library for a while, he suddenly stood up from the bed. Something wasn’t right. Wouldn’t this mean being the first to give in? Xu Xiran hadn’t said sorry to him yet, so why should he bow his head first?

Fang Mo lividly walked around the room twice until there was a knock on the door.

~

Once again, without saying a word, the two walked towards the bus station.

Fang Mo peeked at Xu Xiran beside him from time to time. This fool had a gloomy face with a downcast mood, and his entire being looked depressed. The bag on his back was clearly not big, but his body seemed to look a little crushed by the weight.

From looking at him more, Fang Mo’s heart couldn’t help but soften. Xu Xiran was so shameless and had the nerve to make demands of him without apologizing for what he did wrong, which was very irritating. But thinking about how he was this depressed that he didn’t set a separate ringtone for him, he also thought he was kind of cute.

Fang Mo hesitated for a while, then suddenly went into a daze.

If Xu Xiran had said that he wanted a separate ringtone a few months ago, he would have been over the moon. Not only would he set it for him at the speed of light, but he would also be willing to let him choose the song, even if it was a full-on otaku anime song, he would grit his teeth and endure it.

Even if Xu Xiran had never noticed, Fang Mo was so unconditionally accommodating in front of him back then. He had done too many things in order to be liked by him.

Now that he has succeeded, a little too well in fact, he has been able to recklessly have a temper with Xu Xiran.

Fang Mo thought to himself, am I letting it get to my head?

It was all due to Xu Xiran’s excessive and obvious liking for him that made him feel confident and fearless.

Once he thought about it this way, he didn’t really want to continue arguing with Xu Xiran anymore. It’s not like it’s the first day that he realized this guy was dumb. If he were to seriously tell him, ‘I hope you can genuinely say sorry after doing something wrong,’ he should be willing, right?

As he was in thought, Xu Xiran, who had been mourning by his side, suddenly said, “I just set a separate ringtone for you.”

“……”

The air became silent again, and the two continued to quietly walk forward.

Fang Mo thought to himself, this is not good, he’s too dumb that he’s starting to become cute.

He turned his head slightly to peek at him and found that Xu Xiran was also secretly peeking at him. After catching each other’s sight, no one evaded. They stared at each other speechlessly for a few seconds, then laughed together.

Fang Mo went to hook Xu Xiran’s finger, but Xu Xiran immediately caught him and interlocked his fingers between his.

Fang Mo walked a few steps with his head down, smiled, and asked, “Then what music do you want?”

 “Whatever’s fine,” Xu Xiran said, “I’m good with anything.”

Fang Mo then asked: “Do you actually know why I was upset yesterday? I don’t want to hear your usual explanations.”

Xu Xiran was silent for a while, then tentatively said, “Because I always bully you?”

Fang Mo realized that he was in a predicament.

If he denied this, it would be like him saying ‘I really like being bullied by you’. He did like it, but how could anyone admit this in broad daylight?

He didn’t say a word, and Xu Xiran took it as a yes and said, “I’ll change.”

This was unacceptable. Fang Mo panicked.

“No need,” he said, “Just keep being your natural self.”

“But when you’re mad at me, you ignore me and give me the cold shoulder. It makes me very sad,”  said Xu Xiran.

Fang Mo bit his lip. He began feeling dizzy and really wanted to hug the person beside him and give him a big kiss. 

It was a pity that it was inconvenient to do so. While they were busy talking, they had already reached the bus station. As the holidays approached, the school gradually became more deserted, but the station was still bustling with people, and the line at the platform was very long. The intertwining of the two boys’ fingers was already very eye-catching and Fang Mo didn’t want to attract any more unnecessary attention.

“That’s not why I was upset,” he said.

Xu Xiran’s words just then were very frank, so Fang Mo felt that he shouldn’t have to be awkward anymore. 

“Then what is it?” Xu Xiran said, “What is it that you don’t like me doing?”

“The way you’re going at it is wrong,” Fang Mo found it frustrating yet laughable, “You knew that I was upset yesterday, right?”

Xu Xiran nodded cautiously.

Fang Mo spoke again: “Do you feel like you overdid it?”

Xu Xiran pursed his lips and frowned, then nodded again.

“Then what should you say to me?” Fang Mo asked.

He felt a bit of shame inside. After saying those words out loud, he realized that this reason was a bit unreasonable. Xu Xiran might laugh at him, or he might be silly and say something that would make him mad again.

But Fang Mo was a little stubborn and just wanted to hear him say sorry. He’d forgive him if he said it, and continue to bother him if he didn’t. Xu Xiran liked him, so he was able to bother him like that.

Upon hearing this, Xu Xiran fell into deep thought. After a while, he didn’t speak, but his face turned red, and his expression became serious and nervous.

Fang Mo had a bad premonition in his heart.

Holding his breath, he looked at the person in front of him with a solemn face and nervously opened his mouth.

Xu Xiran said: “My wife, I love you.”

Fang Mo stood there stupidly, and his eyes even forgot to blink.

“Don’t be mad anymore,” Xu Xiran spoke again.

Fang Mo thought to himself, forget it, I’ll forgive him.

Then he looked down and laughed, his shoulders shaking. After laughing for a while, Xu Xiran suddenly let go of his hand.

Immediately afterward, his face was held in his hands. Fang Mo raised his head in a daze, and he was met with a soft kiss.

A kiss that was placed on his lips.

Fang Mo’s head buzzed and then exploded.

He thought, everyone in front of, behind, and around them must be watching them right now.

…Let them watch.

Fang Mo also raised his arms and wrapped them around the back of Xu Xiran’s neck.

Author’s note:

Mo: The straight man that I broke off, even with tears in my eyes I’ll have to take him home. 

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  Reference to a yellow card as a warning of a foul in sports