Chapter 27 – No. It’s too sappy.

Editor: SleepyMango123

Proofreader: Lore

As they laughed and messed around on one side, the other side used that time to finish finalizing the results of the first round of the competition: Kang Yifan vs. Zhang Xin was 2:3; as for Gao Junming and Ye Mang’s group… Ye Mang was surprisingly overthrown, and their score was 4:1. Hearing this, Xia Rong even considered sitting by the TV once the episode aired to find out exactly what happened for Ye Mang to land in such a tragic state. Finally, after adding Xia Rong and Su Chi’s 2:3, the total score was 8:7, and so ‘Team Romeo’ took the lead by one point.

At that moment, all members had already left the canopy and were standing under the sun atop the city wall in a row, facing the crowded cameras that were filming them. After hearing the results of the first round from the director, the members of ‘Team Romeo’ shouted out their victory one-by-one, and Gao Junming even spread open his arms as he proudly¹A phrase to describe being cheerfully proud, (figuratively) having one’s nose in the air or walking on air. – Raws: 得意洋洋 [dé yì yáng yáng] shouted, “Look, didn’t I just turn the tide!”

Kang Yifan and Xia Rong both acted in concert and applauded. “Bravo, awesome, you’re amazing!” In fact, seeing how Gao Junming was losing himself in this moment of pride and satisfaction, Xia Rong was hesitating whether to take advantage of this opportunity to go up and complete his ‘special task’. However, as he was still observing and waiting for the right timing, Kang Yifan had already shot over like a small cannonball and gave Gao Junming an excited hug— However, because of the difference in body size between the two, it appeared as if it was Gao Junming was giving Kang Yifan a bearhug instead.

…Ah, forget it. At a time like this, just let them enjoy the fruits of the victory to their hearts’ content!

After Gao Junming was finished hugging Kang Yifan, he then turned around and opened his arms towards Xia Rong. Xia Rong was stunned for a moment before realizing the other’s intention, then he also smiled and went over to give the other a quick embrace. Gao Junming asked, “Rong-ge²‘Ge’ as in older/big brother, does not require to be biological. – Raws: 哥 [gē], aren’t I amazing?”

“Super amazing, but didn’t I say not to call me ge?” Xia Rong continued with a light smile, “Besides, I’m also not older than you.”

Although Xia Rong had seniority, it was only because he debuted early. But in fact, he was only 23 years old this year, and he would be the youngest out of the group if one didn’t count Kang Yifan and Zhang Xin. Xia Rong had read Gao Junming’s entry on Baidu Baike³It’s like Chinese Wikipedia but it’s under Baidu, which is like China’s google. Directly translates as ‘Baidu’s Encyclopedia’. I think I linked a few entries there for interested readers to MTL in the last chapter. – Raws: 百度百科 [bǎi dù bǎi kē] before, so if the other hadn’t lied about his age, and if one really did the calculations, the other was even older than himself by more than two months.

Gao Junming lowered his head to look at him, then softly said, “But to directly call you by name… I feel like I’m not respecting you enough. It seems that all your fans would call you Rongrong⁴Rongrong = Fluffy. Yes, ‘Fluffy’. So Gao Junming went from “I don’t feel like I’m respecting you enough…” to “Can I call you ‘Fluffy’?” – Raws: 绒绒 [róng róng]? I, why don’t I also call you that as well, is that okay?”

Xia Rong’s eyebrows raised— While he may be relatively slow regarding matters related to emotions⁵I.e. he’s dense about love and like., he had already mixed within the circle for so many years, so his sixth sense on other matters have become much more accurate. He was willing to bet that Gao Junming certainly didn’t really want to call him that but just wanted to create hype by selling rot⁶Selling rot, this is the same ‘rot’ as ‘rotten women/men’ in the Chinese BL circle, which is equivalent to the Japanese ‘fujoshi/fudanshi’.So selling rot in the entertainment circle is just the same thing as selling CP or providing fans materials to build ships, except genders-specific. – Raws: 卖腐 [mài fǔ] with him(XR). As for why he would think this way…

How could there be an adult man who would be willing to call another man ‘Fluffy’! As for his fans, he could only endure it from them. After all, they were still ‘Baby, hug-hug, kiss-kiss⁷First ‘baobao’ directly translates as ‘treasure treasure’ but means ‘Baby’, like… infant. ‘Qin qin’ is ‘kiss kiss’. And ‘the second ‘bao bao’ is ‘hug hug’. Recall this was ‘every day’… so I’ll give you the ‘tian tian’ or ‘day day’ too. Lol. – Raws: 天天宝宝亲亲抱抱 [tiāntiān bǎobǎo qīn qīn bào bào]’ at him every day, treating him just like a child. For an eight-chi-tall⁸‘Chi’ in this case refers to an ancient measurement system in China and it denotes age more than height when it’s used nowadays in literature, where they would say seven-chi (or seven-feet) or eight-chi (or eight-feet) as in this case. The traditional ‘chi’ has now modernized, so the Chinese version now is precisely ⅓ of a meter. More information here. man like Gao Junming to also call him like that, did they want him (XR) to itch to death from the goosebumps!?

Thus, while his expression stayed the same, a shiver quietly went down Xia Ring’s back. Yet unexpectedly, Gao Junming still didn’t give up, so Xia Rong could only straightforwardly tell him, “Not okay. That’s too numbingly sappy. Only my fans call me that, my parents would directly call me ‘Xia Rong’. Kang Yifan also directly calls me ‘Xia Rong’, there’s no reason why you can’t as well.”

Gao Junming then appeared a little depressed and disappointed and just lowly responded with an ‘Oh’. However, his eyes were still turning, and his arms had yet to release Xia Rong. Xia Rong estimated that he was going over every means to find a new method. Just as he was a little impatient and wanted to break away from Gao Junming, someone came up, moved away Gao Junming’s hand, and pulled Xia Rong out.

Su Chi had only simply pulled Xia Rong out before quickly letting go, so Xia Rong didn’t really feel anything of it. He then said with a smile, “Even if you won, you still shouldn’t ignore the defeated team like this. Everyone’s waiting for lunch.”

In fact, it was already past two o’clock in the afternoon, and all the members were already famished, their stomachs growling. Xia Rong hurriedly chipped in, “Yes, I’ve almost starved to death! Let’s go, let’s go! To have won with such difficulty, Director, where’s that big, sumptuous meal that we were promised?”

Gao Junming originally still wanted to speak to Xia Rong, however, Xia Rong had learned from his earlier mistake. He quickly reacted and responded faster than everyone else and in an instant, he had already rushed over to the director’s side. As is, if Gao Junming were to chase after him, he would seem too deliberate, so he could only give up.

=====

As expected, the program team’s promise of a ‘rich, sumptuous meal’ really was fulfilled, but it was in the form of an ‘exchange menu’— The basic components of the meal were exactly the same for both teams and consisted of four dishes, one soup and four bowls of white rice. However, the winning team of the previous round could use one of the ‘Wulin secret manuals’ that they had received and exchange it for a recipe that they’d like, such as ‘Deluxe Lobster Set’, ‘Super Roast Duck Set’ or ‘Mala Honey Barbeque Feast⁹Mala Wiki’. One could easily salivate just by looking at the names.

However, the director also reminded them that all the ‘Wulin secret manuals’ that they had obtained would have corresponding special roles in the last round of the episode — ‘Huashan Sword Debate’. The winning team of the first round could keep all their manuals, while the losing team could only keep one. And once a member of the victorious team had exchanged one of the secret manuals for a recipe, they would no longer be able to use that manual in ‘Huashan Sword Debate’.

But after working so hard, running here and there, they weren’t willing to give up the rich meal no matter what, so the members of ‘Team Romeo’ could only choose the secret manual that they each believed to be the most ‘chicken rib¹⁰‘Chicken rib’ means ‘things of little value or interest’ and it comes from… The taste of chicken ribs. – Raws: 鸡肋 [jī lèi]’ to give up. Kang Yifan, for example, traded his 《Jade Maiden Heart Sutra¹¹A cultivation style (I think) that Xiaolongnu practiced from The Return of the Condor Heroes.》 for the ‘Super Roast Duck Set’. After the exchange, he even sighed as he lamented, “Xiaolongnü, I’m sorry that I have to wrong you, but who had to make me Romeo~ Who I love is Juliet~”

Xia Rong was tangled between the ‘Deluxe Lobster’ and the ‘Barbecue Feast’ for a long time. Finally, he opted for the lobster meal in exchange for the 《Bixue Sword Manual》. Kang Yifan laughed when he saw this, “Ai, how could you just throw away the 《Bixue Sword Manual》 like this? This is the peerless secret manual that Yue Buqun¹²Wiki would even dream about possessing!”

Xia Rong snorted in contempt. “If you want it, hurry up and castrate yourself to practice it. I still have 《Nine Yang Divine Skill》 here!”

Taking advantage of this time, the directing team also announced the rules for the next round: ones with great chivalry should help the common people— The members of the two teams must independently seek out people with the designated surname(s) from the Hundred Family Surnames¹³Wiki and try to fulfill their wishes. The team with the most completed wishes before evening fell would win. The winning team would gain a great advantage, displaying an increase in strength in the next day’s ‘Huashan Sword Debate’… Therefore, for both the throne at the summit of Wulin and also for the common people, may all heroes please strive hard!

The two teams were separated into two large tables. With the end to the announcement of the new rules, Xia Rong’s team also had their trophy ‘clue’ delivered to their hands— It was very simple and crude, it directly told them the designated surname they would be looking for: ‘Zhao’.

Whereas, ‘Team Liang Shanbo’, who was without any clue, had fallen into a state of melancholy and gloominess. They had to seek people with the designated surname to complete the task, but they didn’t even know what surname they needed. Surely it didn’t mean they had to try them one by one, right?! A hundred surnames, how long would they need to try before hitting the mark?

Originally very pleased with himself, but once Xia Rong saw the deep frown on Su Chi’s brows, he couldn’t bring himself to continue feeling content anymore. Just then, his luxurious lobster meal was placed on the table, so he quickly waved and beckoned Su Chi to come over. “Come, come and let’s eat together. I can’t eat it all alone.”

Su Chi raised his head, met eyes with him, and slightly smiled. Without knowing why, Xia Rong’s heart followed along and felt warm.

But although Su Chi obediently walked over and sat down, he explained, “I’m allergic to seafood, I can’t eat shrimp.”

Xia Rong was a little disappointed and blurted out, “Aren’t you a c…? How could you be allergic to seafood?”

How could a cat be allergic to fish?

Although he reacted in time and managed to swallow back the word ‘cat’, Su Chi was able to catch onto what he was trying to say. He smiled with a bit of helplessness. “Then would you usually rely on licking yourself to bathe?”

Xia Rong: “…”

Kang Yifan leaned over and asked with a rather evil smile, “I’ve heard it all~ What licking or not, what dirty topic are you two talking about?”

Su Chi answered in all seriousness, “I was asking Xia Rong whether his cat would lick his own fur. Where has your mind flown to?”

Kang Yifan didn’t believe him. “Whether cats would lick their own fur, what kind of a question is that? No matter how stupid a cat was, he should know to lick his fur, right? This sort of thing should be part of its instinct!”

Stupid Cat Xia Rong: “…”

Kang Yifan then continued smiling haughtily as he asked again, “What are you two doing, always getting together and murmuring away?” He then placed his hand on his neck, bared his teeth, and made a “ka¹⁴You know that gesture when one person wants to threaten another, so they mimic cutting one’s neck with a knife? This is whatever sound that they would also emit whenever they do this gesture. Onomatopeias are difficult…” gesture. “Are you two not afraid at all that the other party might be the assassin?”

Assassin Xia Rong: “…”

“What are you doing, always sowing discord? It couldn’t be that you’re the actual assassin, right?” Su Chi, the other assassin, slightly smiled, not flustered at all. “Gao Junming, Zhang Xin, try to recall, had there been anything that didn’t seem right along the way?”

Having been invited to eat at the same table, they began to stare at Kang Yifan with suspicious eyes, and the remaining three friends fell into contemplation together: “…”

Kang Yifan, who inexplicably acquired suspicion: “…???”

=====

In the end, the big sumptuous meal was settled by all six friends. From the overall perspective, it invisibly met the program’s required guidelines of ‘positive energy’ and ‘unity and proactiveness’. However, from an individual’s perspective… If they ate such a rich meal on their own while others could only look at it eagerly, it was rather embarrassing when swallowing the food down like that!

Fortunately, the heavens would always leave a way out.  After they finished eating, the director came out and told ‘Team Liang Shanbo’ that if they could recite the four dishes and one soup in the order they were served in one attempt, they could also get the hint of the designated surname. Only this hint would not be as direct as that of Xia Rong’s team, but would just limit the range of surnames for them to try.

Unexpectedly, almost at the same time as when the director finished explaining, Ye Mang, who had not spoken much, suddenly opened his mouth. Without even a pause or stutter, he recited the order of the dishes all in one breath, completely confident and impeccably fluent.

Before the director had even announced whether the answer was correct, the audience at the scene had already started to clap in admiration. When it was finally confirmed that his answer was right, Ye Mang was then directly praised as a ‘grand immortal’. He was a little embarrassed after all his friends’ boasting and generously explained the secret to the trick. “In fact, it’s because I enjoy cooking. I was staring at them as they were being served to see whether there were any dishes that I couldn’t make, so I could then go learn afterward.”

Zhang Xin: “Then were there any?”

Ye Mang displayed his hands in regret. “No.”

Amid everyone’s laughter, both teams had received their respective prompts for the second round and prepared to set out. As for the deadline of the second round, the ‘before it gets dark’ which was mentioned, according to the current season of late May/almost June, it would actually be around 7:00 p.m.

However it was currently already 3:30 p.m., so the amount of time the members of both teams were allotted to do their best completing the task was actually less than four hours.

Xia Rong originally had even thought that these three hours would not be enough. As a result, it turned out to be the longest three hours within the recent past that he had to endure— Time spent searching for targets, asking and verifying the targets, fulfilling wishes, all while still avoiding the crowd’s pursuit and interceptions throughout the process… The three of them already felt that their hearts were crushed, mouths frayed, and even their legs were broken.

Their only comfort was that the other side’s “Team Liang Shanbo” shouldn’t be faring much better than them. Moreover, the scope they were dealing with was wider, so their difficulty could only be greater than theirs when completing the task.

By the time that it was completely dark and the six members had arrived back at the assembly point, almost all of them were worn-out and bathed in sweat as if they were cut from the same cloth. They collapsed on the temporary carpet set out by the program group with arms tangled together and legs on top of legs, such that even though they were still being filmed by the camera, they were too sluggish to get up again to try to maintain that same level of beauty they had in front of the camera at the beginning of the filming.

And so, this group of “male gods” just laid about in a disorderly manner on the ground as they listened to the results of the second round. Maybe the director thought this would add a good effect to the program, as he also didn’t request for them to get up.

Xia Rong, after having ran madly for several kilometers to help someone catch a dog, climbed a tree to retrieve a balloon for a child, helped someone propose by laying on the ground to set up 999 candles… all sorts of tragic deeds, was already so tired that he couldn’t even straighten his back anymore. He simply felt as if his whole skeleton was going to fall apart.

After he finished listening to the announced results in a muddle, he and his group of friends got up by supporting each other, took the bus back to the hotel, showered, collapsed onto the bed, and went to sleep… All of which were through a series of instinctive movements, where he almost couldn’t tell whether he was asleep or awake, as well as when he actually fell asleep.

Hence, when he woke up in the middle of the night and found that he became a cat again, he had profound suspicion that he had yet to wake up, that it was just a dream.

And so, when he turned his head and could see clearly with the use of the moonlight that another was lying next to him, a silver gradient British Shorthair sleeping incredibly sweetly, at that time, his suspicion… 

En, it became deeper.

• 1
  A phrase to describe being cheerfully proud, (figuratively) having one’s nose in the air or walking on air. – Raws: 得意洋洋 [dé yì yáng yáng]
• 2
  ‘Ge’ as in older/big brother, does not require to be biological. – Raws: 哥 [gē]
• 3
  It’s like Chinese Wikipedia but it’s under Baidu, which is like China’s google. Directly translates as ‘Baidu’s Encyclopedia’. I think I linked a few entries there for interested readers to MTL in the last chapter. – Raws: 百度百科 [bǎi dù bǎi kē]
• 4
  Rongrong = Fluffy. Yes, ‘Fluffy’. So Gao Junming went from “I don’t feel like I’m respecting you enough…” to “Can I call you ‘Fluffy’?” – Raws: 绒绒 [róng róng]
• 5
  I.e. he’s dense about love and like.
• 6
  Selling rot, this is the same ‘rot’ as ‘rotten women/men’ in the Chinese BL circle, which is equivalent to the Japanese ‘fujoshi/fudanshi’.So selling rot in the entertainment circle is just the same thing as selling CP or providing fans materials to build ships, except genders-specific. – Raws: 卖腐 [mài fǔ]
• 7
  First ‘baobao’ directly translates as ‘treasure treasure’ but means ‘Baby’, like… infant. ‘Qin qin’ is ‘kiss kiss’. And ‘the second ‘bao bao’ is ‘hug hug’. Recall this was ‘every day’… so I’ll give you the ‘tian tian’ or ‘day day’ too. Lol. – Raws: 天天宝宝亲亲抱抱 [tiāntiān bǎobǎo qīn qīn bào bào]
• 8
  ‘Chi’ in this case refers to an ancient measurement system in China and it denotes age more than height when it’s used nowadays in literature, where they would say seven-chi (or seven-feet) or eight-chi (or eight-feet) as in this case. The traditional ‘chi’ has now modernized, so the Chinese version now is precisely ⅓ of a meter. More information here.
• 9
  Mala Wiki
• 10
  ‘Chicken rib’ means ‘things of little value or interest’ and it comes from… The taste of chicken ribs. – Raws: 鸡肋 [jī lèi]
• 11
  A cultivation style (I think) that Xiaolongnu practiced from The Return of the Condor Heroes.
• 12
  Wiki
• 13
  Wiki
• 14
  You know that gesture when one person wants to threaten another, so they mimic cutting one’s neck with a knife? This is whatever sound that they would also emit whenever they do this gesture. Onomatopeias are difficult…