The television was turned on, showing the evening news. Shen Tazhi, upon seeing the news, thought for a moment and then helped Jiang Que switch the TV to the 8 p.m. drama slot. He also brought him a small plate of fruit before heading into the kitchen.
Jiang Que behaved extremely well throughout, releasing his tentacles and sitting on the sofa, eating the fruit. He continued sitting there until he watched Shen Tazhi disappear into the kitchen, and only after seeing the sliding door close did he slowly set down the fork in his hand.
…He wasn’t in the mood to eat anymore.
The TV was playing somewhat loudly, but Jiang Que didn’t bother to lower the volume. Instead, he listlessly stared at the bandage on his right index finger. It was from the injury he sustained trying to escape the Abyss. Shen Tazhi had been diligently changing the bandage for him these days, and his fingernail was slowly growing back.
However, despite the physical healing, Jiang Que could still feel the lingering unease deep within his heart.
Everything had happened too quickly and too suddenly, almost like an unrealistic dream he was wishfully thinking was true. Although he had verified countless times that everything before him was real, the moment he was away from Shen Tazhi, doubt would creep in.
He wanted to hold Shen Tazhi, to stick close to him, not wanting to be separated from him for even a moment.
With these thoughts in mind, he curled up his knees.
He felt like he should watch some TV, but he didn’t even have the energy to lift his head. Instead, he remained hunched on the sofa, reminiscing about everything that had happened with Shen Tazhi.
From Shen Tazhi’s confusion upon their reunion, to the breakdown after being confined to the bed for two days and nights, to the helplessness when he regained his memories…
Jiang Que’s gaze drifted to the medicine box under the TV.
He knew there was a wooden box hidden in the medicine cabinet, but Shen Tazhi had never brought it out, no matter the circumstance. Shen Tazhi’s favoritism towards him was so evident, making Jiang Que’s anxiety seem unreasonable.
But emotions were irrational, and Jiang Que couldn’t control them. He could only silently feel distressed.
He even found himself thinking in a self-destructive manner. If Shen Tazhi’s attitude towards him could be a bit harsher, at least he would have a reason to directly push him away, rather than the current situation where Shen Tazhi’s gentleness left him at a loss.
It was too gentle, so gentle that Jiang Que didn’t know how to respond. In his imagined scenarios, there were endings with Shen Tazhi broken and shattered, or Shen Tazhi perpetually glaring at him in anger. These outcomes were all hysterical, completely different from the current calmness.
As Jiang Que pondered alone, a woman’s sharp voice came through the TV: “Gu Jingchen, if this is your idea of love, then I’d rather have never met you at all!”
Jiang Que looked up at the sound, only to see a woman standing drenched in the pouring rain. She had dropped the black umbrella handed to her by the man in a suit and was now grabbing his collar in the rain, saying, “I, Su Manman, will never be your plaything!”
Initially wanting to see what was being shouted on the TV, Jiang Que couldn’t look away after witnessing the scene.
Oh, isn’t this the plot he had imagined? Shen Tazhi should hate him to the core, always wanting to escape, while he would use his tentacles to firmly hold Shen Tazhi in place, extinguishing any thoughts or hopes of escape.
And then…?
Jiang Que pondered blankly. He didn’t know what would happen next because from what he had seen among humans, usually at this stage, both parties would be severely hurt, and it was almost the end for both.
Out of curiosity about the outcome, he forcibly ignored the actress’s “the rain is so heavy, when will they call a cut” off-acting expression on her face, and fast-forwarded using the remote control.
Upon entering the episode selection page, Jiang Que was surprised to find that this drama had over a hundred episodes, and he was only on the twenty-seventh episode.
Jiang Que:…
He seemed unable to finish watching it.
Just then, Shen Tazhi had quickly finished cooking the noodles, fearing that Jiang Que had been waiting for too long. He opened the kitchen door and looked at Jiang Que, who was sitting on the sofa with the remote control in hand. Shen Tazhi’s originally nervous expression finally relaxed slightly. “Que Que, are you watching TV?”
Jiang Que nodded, dropping the remote control he had been holding and moving closer to Shen Tazhi, hugging his arm. “Are we having dinner?”
“Yes,” Shen Tazhi replied. “Wait here, I’ll bring it out from the kitchen.”
The beef noodle soup was made with bone broth, thinly sliced beef neatly arranged on top, and garnished with fresh green vegetables.
Worried that Jiang Que might not be able to handle spicy food, Shen Tazhi had prepared a sweet and spicy chili sauce, placing a small bowl of it on the table for Jiang Que to add as he pleased.
The two sat down at the dining table, the TV Jiang Que had abandoned playing in the background.
It was now playing a flashback scene, probably depicting how the female lead was forcefully taken by the male lead after her parents’ death and confined in a mansion, with several ambiguous and suggestive scenes. The sound of the TV echoed conspicuously in the empty house.
Shen Tazhi’s hand holding the chopsticks paused for a moment.
“Earlier… I put on this TV show for you?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Jiang Que replied nonchalantly, blowing on the steaming noodles. “Yes, it’s a long TV series, seems like it’s based on a novel.”
Shen Tazhi:…
Were TV shows this advanced now? He had assumed it was one of those old-fashioned rural romance stories, which is why he felt comfortable letting Jiang Que watch it.
Regardless of what Jiang Que was watching, being able to sit quietly for fifteen minutes was already impressive. Shen Tazhi smiled and praised, “So, were you watching TV just now? It’s quite impressive to sit alone for so long.”
“I wasn’t watching TV,” Jiang Que corrected seriously. “I was thinking about you.”
“About me?” Shen Tazhi asked. What could he possibly be thinking about? He was right there next to him.
Jiang Que responded with a thoughtful “Hmm” and genuinely asked, “Shen Tazhi, if I were to confine you like they do in the TV show, what would you…”
“I’d beat you up,” Shen Tazhi playfully flicked his forehead.
Jiang Que held his forehead, whispering, “I’m asking seriously.”
“And I’m answering seriously,” Shen Tazhi replied as he started eating his noodles. “Que Que, I don’t dislike you sticking close to me. In fact, I quite like it.”
Surprised, Jiang Que looked up to see Shen Tazhi smiling at him. “What’s with that expression? I really enjoy being with you,” Shen Tazhi pointed to himself and then to Jiang Que. “I like you, and you like me. It’s mutual, Que Que. If you were to confine me like that, it would only be you expressing your affection, not allowing me to reciprocate my feelings, and that would make me upset.”
Jiang Que nodded in a somewhat understanding manner, eating his noodles quietly. After a moment, he said, “But you’re not upset now.”
Shen Tazhi propped his chin on his hand, looking at him. “Because you haven’t done anything wrong, Que Que. You’ve always been a good kid, never doing anything bad.”
Once again, the praise of being a “good kid” caused Jiang Que’s hand holding the chopsticks to pause for a moment.
Not pushing Shen Tazhi away, obediently following his instructions to interact with humans, these were all considered “good” behaviors in Shen Tazhi’s eyes.
But in reality, he wasn’t being good; he was just putting on a facade for Shen Tazhi.
Jiang Que could clearly understand that his true nature was still as malicious as when he first met Shen Tazhi.
According to the psychologist, the TV show, and all the people he had encountered in human society, his true nature was probably a terrifying presence to humans.
Could Shen Tazhi still love him, despite his unruly nature? Jiang Que didn’t know, but he smiled at Shen Tazhi.
He was always good at using his appearance, knowing which expressions could soften Shen Tazhi’s heart.
“Yeah, I’m very good,” he said.
After dinner, he turned off the TV and went to freshen up.
Due to watching the TV show, Jiang Que became curious about the upcoming plot. As he headed upstairs, he took his phone for the first time, intending to search for the original novel adaptation of the TV show.
Shen Tazhi happened to glance at the content he was searching for: [Overwhelming Love: Master Gu, We Aren’t Acquainted!]
The classic title made Shen Tazhi momentarily stunned, reminding him of their past life. He chuckled, “You used to enjoy hearing those stories from me. Are you interested in this story today?”
Although Jiang Que’s interests were a bit strange, having something he liked was a good start.
Shaking his head, Jiang Que replied, “No, I just want to see the ending.”
He was about to head to the bathroom to shower with Shen Tazhi as usual when Shen Tazhi stopped him.
Suggesting tentatively, Shen Tazhi said, “You can read the novel while I shower? It’ll only take ten minutes, I’ll be quick.”
“No…” Jiang Que was about to refuse but then remembered Shen Tazhi’s earlier praise of being a “good kid”.
He corrected himself, “…You go ahead.”
He needed to control those inexplicable emotions. Their life with Shen Tazhi was going well, and he wanted to maintain the status quo.
Jiang Que lowered his eyes, smiling sweetly, “Gege, I’m a good boy, so you’ll have to make it up to me when you come back.”
Shen Tazhi:…
With innocent eyes, Jiang Que asked, “Can you do that, gege?”
How could Shen Tazhi refuse? “Alright.”
…
Shen Tazhi felt that Jiang Que had been acting a bit strange lately.
He’s not referring to anything strange in bed; ever since his rebirth, the other party had been eager to stick with him every day. Surprisingly, Shen Tazhi found himself adapting to this high-frequency forced closeness.
The oddities were more evident in their daily life.
Mainly, they manifested during their separation exercises. Shen Tazhi had initially been skeptical of the brief separation exercises suggested by the psychologist, partly due to the psychologist’s intimidating appearance and because Jiang Que seemed unwilling to part from him. Shen Tazhi didn’t want Jiang Que to focus all his attention on him; he wanted Jiang Que to live independently.
Unable to find another psychologist willing to come, Shen Tazhi had to give the exercises a try. Surprisingly, the results were unexpectedly good.
Starting with short periods of just over ten minutes, the exercises had progressed to an entire afternoon. Recently, Jiang Que seemed to have developed a fondness for reading novels, spending most of his time curled up on the couch with a pillow. Shen Tazhi curiously peeked at the novels, mostly melodramatic romance stories that captivated Jiang Que, even bringing tears to his eyes.
At times, Jiang Que seemed to be browsing search engines or writing something on his phone. During these moments, Jiang Que deliberately kept his distance, and Shen Tazhi respectfully gave him his personal space.
This transformation should have been positive, but it seemed almost too good to be true—
Shen Tazhi looked at the tentacle that had extended towards him before retracting under Jiang Que’s control, lost in thought.
Apart from their nightly intimate activities, Jiang Que now rarely used his tentacles to cling to him even in their daily life, a change that had occurred in just two days.
Jiang Que still knew how to use his appearance advantage to act cute and sweet towards Shen Tazhi, but these displays of affection rarely went beyond asking for a kiss, and nothing more.
It seemed like the other party was always consciously restraining something. When Shen Tazhi tried to inquire further, Jiang Que would casually respond, “Because I need to learn to be more independent, just like you said, gege.”
Shen Tazhi attempted to delve deeper into the matter, but Jiang Que would swiftly divert the conversation to another topic, leaving Shen Tazhi with no choice but to drop the subject.
On the second night of their separation exercise, as Shen Tazhi listened to the sound of Jiang Que showering in the bathroom, he found himself deeply lost in thought.
Had he done something wrong? He had only suggested a brief separation at the beginning; most of the subsequent changes had been initiated by Jiang Que himself. Was there a misunderstanding in their communication? If so, should he take the opportunity tonight to confirm with Jiang Que and clear up any misunderstandings?
Shen Tazhi remembered Jiang Que’s strange thought process from earlier and felt that this speculation was the most likely.
As he pondered, Jiang Que’s phone, lying at the edge of the bed, lit up for a moment.
Attracted by the light, Shen Tazhi glanced in the direction of the phone and was stunned when he saw the lit-up phone screen.
It was a picture of him.
In truth, it wasn’t a big deal for Jiang Que to use his picture as a screensaver, but the photo showed him in blue home clothes, sitting in front of a computer typing, most likely in the study based on the background.
He had only worn that outfit yesterday afternoon, and at that time, Jiang Que should have been outside the study reading a novel.
How did Jiang Que manage to take this picture?
Shen Tazhi felt a strange tingling on his scalp and, as if driven by some unknown force, tapped the screen as the screensaver was about to dim, hoping he was mistaken.
What he didn’t expect was that Jiang Que didn’t have a phone password. With that tap on the screen, he directly entered Jiang Que’s phone interface.
What caught his eye was the bolded first line on the memo that Jiang Que hadn’t closed:
【Be a bit more obedient.】
Obedient? What did it mean to be more obedient?
Below were densely packed words, and Shen Tazhi looked down in confusion.
【Twenty minutes after separating from Shen Tazhi, finished reading the novel. People who have imprisoned others really don’t have a good ending. It’s terrifying to continuously watch each other. Did my previous actions make him uncomfortable?…】
【Shen Tazhi said that he would be angry if I locked him up, but it’s so hard. The search engine said writing down your discomfort might help a bit, but I don’t know how to write it.】
【I don’t know if it’s terrifying. I can’t control it. Actually, I’m not obedient at all. Will Shen Tazhi still like me like this?】
【Is all of this really a dream?】
【He wants me to change, probably hates what I did before, right?】
【I know Shen Tazhi loves me, but I’m still sad, wanting more love, wanting a lot more love.】
【I want love, want a more direct way to express it, not just the nightly intimacy… Gege, Shen Tazhi, gege.】
The segments in the memo were all jumbled up, clearly showing that the person who wrote this memo had no idea what they were thinking. But Shen Tazhi strangely understood.
This was uneasiness.
He thought he was helping Jiang Que be more independent, but he didn’t expect that a casual compliment like “good child” and a brief separation would bring even more unease to the other person.
This lifetime’s Jiang Que was evidently more sensitive and delicate in his thoughts compared to the previous one.
Jiang Que had always been intelligent, quick to deduce from others’ behavior that his own actions might not have been normal. In order to appear “more obedient” in front of him, Jiang Que had been suppressing himself these past few days, actively keeping his distance.
The pain caused by this distance was so vividly reflected in the memo.
… He had taken Jiang Que’s overly sensitive emotions for granted.
“Gege.”
As Shen Tazhi silently read the memo, Jiang Que’s voice suddenly came from behind.
The sound of water from the bathroom had gone unnoticed, and Jiang Que walked quietly, approaching Shen Tazhi’s back without a sound.
Leaning in closer, his face carried a warm mist, smiling mischievously, “What’s gege looking at?”
Jiang Que deftly took the phone from Shen Tazhi’s hand, glanced at it, and teasingly drawled, “Oh, caught peeking at my diary.”
His hand slowly wrapped around Shen Tazhi from behind, and Jiang Que’s face still held an innocent expression, as if he wasn’t the one now playfully encircling Shen Tazhi in a threatening manner.
“Caught red-handed,” Jiang Que sighed softly, “I thought I could at least pretend in front of you a little longer.”
Before Shen Tazhi could respond, Jiang Que interrupted, “Can’t keep pretending, so forget it.”
Jiang Que’s beautiful hand reached up to Shen Tazhi’s cheek, his voice gentle, “Gege, I want to keep you here forever. I want to be warm with you, want you to hold me close, want you to never leave me for a lifetime… I don’t want to be apart from you for a single second.”
That hand moved to Shen Tazhi’s lips:
“I want you to just love me, not say things about separating or the grand ideas of independence, not praise me for being a good child.”
“…I am a bad child, gege, you should know that better than anyone.”
“The me you first saw, that’s the real me.”
Perhaps in the previous life, Jiang Que could still be considered somewhat kind, but from the moment he witnessed Shen Tazhi’s death, he had a complete breakdown, Jiang Que felt like a part of himself might have died along with him.
That’s why he was in so much pain, even though he knew Shen Tazhi liked him. He couldn’t find the source of his pain, so he could only temporarily disguise himself as obedient and compliant.
Because he was always hurting Shen Tazhi. He wanted to love Shen Tazhi in his own way but didn’t want to hurt him anymore.
Jiang Que remembered Shen Tazhi’s assessment of the “imprisonment” incident from before. What did Shen Tazhi say?
He would be angry, really angry, and might even beat him up.
Looking at Shen Tazhi, Jiang Que earnestly said, “Gege, why don’t you hit me?”
“I really, really want to lock you up, even though I know it will make you angry, but you’re too good to me. I dare not do it. If you were a bit mean to me, then I might.”
… How did Jiang Que manage to be both cowardly and somewhat terrifying? Shen Tazhi couldn’t help it and let out an untimely laugh.
Quickly suppressing his laughter, Shen Tazhi raised his hand in Jiang Que’s nervous gaze and embraced him.
This sudden hug made Jiang Que freeze in place, finally giving Shen Tazhi a chance to speak.
Helplessly, he said, “Que Que, why do you always think I would hit you? It was just a figure of speech.”
Jiang Que pondered for a moment, “Because… most humans who are imprisoned, their first reaction upon hearing such words is to hit the other person?”
As the words fell, he felt warmth on his forehead.
Shen Tazhi didn’t raise a hand, he kissed his own forehead.
“So that’s how it is,” Shen Tazhi sighed lightly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize at first and didn’t make it clear.”
Jiang Que was surprised that the first thing Shen Tazhi said was an apology, looking at him perplexed.
Shen Tazhi casually tossed his phone aside and patted his back reassuringly, “At first, I just thought you didn’t know I liked you, so I thought as long as I made my feelings clear, it would be fine. I never expected you to be unsettled by the fact that ‘I like you’.”
“Que Que, I’m good to you, I like you not because you’re obedient, but because you’re Jiang Que. You deserve my affection, so don’t worry about this.”
What kind of fairy tale was Shen Tazhi telling?
Was this a dream?
“Isn’t a dream.” Shen Tazhi seemed to have understood Jiang Que’s thoughts and confidently stated, “Que Que, dreams aren’t this realistic. You’re very smart; you should have realized from the very beginning that this isn’t a dream.”
“You just don’t believe things could evolve this way, or maybe…” Shen Tazhi rubbed his forehead with a headache, “…you’ve imagined all sorts of messy conjectures? Like whether my love for you is genuine or not?”
Jiang Que nodded blankly.
He hugged Shen Tazhi’s neck and whispered, “Because I was so over the top at first, even now, the things I want to do to you are still excessive.”
“I don’t dare to do them. I’m afraid everything is just an illusion… I, I…”
Jiang Que couldn’t continue. Despite brushing up on his language skills these past few days, he still found it difficult to find the right words to express his feelings.
He resorted to being straightforward, “Gege, I’m afraid you only like this ‘me’ that I’m pretending to be, not the original ‘me’.”
At this point, Jiang Que suddenly felt enlightened.
He finally understood the reason behind his increasing sadness.
Because he was becoming greedy.
Initially, he only wanted Shen Tazhi’s body, and he could have taken Shen Tazhi away unrestrainedly. But Shen Tazhi regained his memories.
Jiang Que realized that as long as he was obedient, Shen Tazhi would like him, even kiss him. So now he wanted Shen Tazhi’s love again.
After receiving love, he began desiring even more love from Shen Tazhi, wanting Shen Tazhi to love all aspects of him, not just the vulnerability he showed when being cute and obedient. This led him to confine himself in such a painful and dilemma-ridden prison, even beginning to doubt if everything he had received was real.
He was becoming increasingly greedy under Shen Tazhi’s care.
“*Snap.*“
A crisp sound brought Jiang Que back to reality.
Jiang Que looked up to see Shen Tazhi calmly taking out his SIM card and crushing it in front of him.
Shen Tazhi shook the now “no signal” phone, smiling mischievously, “There, my phone can’t send messages anymore.”
“I don’t know how to explain it to you, Que Que. Do you want to try doing what you wanted to do before?”
“You can do everything you wanted to do. If I still say I love you after that, will it make you feel more secure?”
Huh?
…
Jiang Que was momentarily at a loss for words, shocked by Shen Tazhi’s actions.
Shen Tazhi chuckled and added, “There are frozen dumplings in the fridge. Just watch a tutorial, and you should be able to make them yourself.”
Why bring up this all of a sudden?
Shen Tazhi looked at the still bewildered Jiang Que and tapped his head lightly, “What I mean is, even if you really lock me in a room and only let me eat the food you feed me, it’s alright, you know?”
