Chapter 9: Moonlight Forget-Me-Not (2)
Editor: Mimishijie 😊
“Hello and welcome back, Mr Yan.”
The familiar electronic female voice had been personally adjusted by himself and was very warm. It was the voice of a confidant, someone he felt he could say anything to, rather than one that was cold and detached, or the cloying voice of a young girl.
Yan Shuo responded softly. This was his secret diary, using the form of dialogue to save his words.
He brewed a cup of coffee and the flavour gradually began to brim outwards. It was a kind of dark aroma, beginning around somewhere near the base of the tongue and usually accompanied with a slight roughness, yet when it returned it was very fragrant. Hence there was both bitter and sweet, as if that itself was the charm.
Occasionally, when his mother came over, she would dislike that the entire house was filled with the distinct, bitter smell. She would say that since the house already lacked personality, having the smell linger would seem like he didn’t want people to set foot in it even more.
And she was most likely right. He had an intense need for privacy in the first place, so strong it was almost paranoia. Yet his paranoia didn’t emerge as just a need for space. Suppressing his emotions since he was a child had caused a certain amount of distortion in his nature. His requirements of himself were harsh and demanding. It was only natural that he would fulfil these requirements outstandingly. It was equally natural that sometimes he would feel as if he was utterly unable to breathe.
When he was younger he’d gone through a period of clinical depression and self-destructive behaviour, although fortunately, his formidable self-control had stretched his consciousness taut into a balance that was just right. At the time, he had told himself that he could only die after he’d obtained everything he wanted, otherwise it was too much of a waste.
It was a pity, then, that when he reached adulthood he finally began attempting to manage the extremities of his mental state, thus he never finished walking the path of self-destruction. Although, it could also be considered a good thing.
One method was recording his diary. He didn’t necessarily do it every day, only recording a few particular moments.
“Today’s weather was pretty good,” His legs were crossed, greeting the electronic voice. It was as if he were reuniting with an old friend on a wintery night; his intonation of the last syllables was pleased, “It’s unfortunate that there’s no way for you to go out and enjoy it.”
“Oh,” The electronic female voice possessed a certain intelligence, “I feel it is actually your mood that is pretty good.”
Yan Shuo smiled lightly. In actuality, the curve of his smile wasn’t large, but this already showed how cheerful he was.
He took out the bouquet that he’d just bought. It wasn’t too big, the size just right for him to carry it in his arms.
In the bundle of fresh moonlight forget-me-nots, the white flowers lay dormant in front of the jade-green leaves.
“Last time, what was it I said?”
“Hello, the last record was eight days ago,” The electronic voice repeated the last sentence of the previous recording, “You had recorded last, ‘I feel like I’ll have an argument with him, which causes me pain, but I am also glad that I’ll at least have the chance to argue with him.’”
Listening to what had been recorded in his last diary entry, Mr Yan felt a bit of shame. Though the electronic voice was only electronic after all, so he quickly regained his senses.
“Yes, it sounds very sad,” Yan Shuo laughed mockingly at himself. His finger gently stroked a soft flower petal, the pad of his finger feeling the brocade-grade silkiness, “But now it has taken a turn, this couldn’t be better.”
The electronic female voice didn’t reply this time. Unless he mentioned it, she would continue being a perfect conversation partner.
“These flowers are called moonlight forget-me-nots,” He didn’t get right to the point, only stroking the petal as if he were recalling something, “When I first saw this type of flower, my mother was holding them in her arms and weeping. This variation of white forget-me-nots are very special, just like the illumination of moonlight, so it has this kind of name.”
“And since something like white moonlight is always unattainable, it’s meaning in the language of flowers is – an unattainable love.”1穷极一生求而不得的爱恋 – oof this translates to something along the lines of ‘a love that cannot be obtained even through a lifetime of pointless persistence’. The General gets more Sad and AngstyTM points from me!
Speaking up to here, he raised his eyebrows, bowing his head to sip the coffee. A sliver of disappointment and frustration appeared in his eyes. It could be seen at a glance.
“Although ever since Yan Zhengde took her as his wife, I never saw her buy these flowers anymore. It’s like she has forgotten how full of remorse she was all those years ago; of course, there’s nothing bad about that. I raised my eyebrows and grumbled at the realisation of her long-held wish, but this was the biggest turn of her life, worthy of celebration.”
His tone held something perceptive, with a hint of sarcasm.
“I just didn’t expect my own fate to seem like a reincarnation,” He mockingly laughed at himself again, “Before I met him again, I never thought that someday I would be like her, holding these flowers, full of remorse.”
“You can’t say for sure, perhaps this is a good thing.” The electronic female voice, after hearing a few keywords, would give a fixed answer.
“And yet, from certain aspects you could say that this is also a type of mental cultivation,” He contemplated, “After all, before him, I never had this kind of desire for the unattainable. Just thinking of last week, or even as early as yesterday, it was a downright tragedy.”
“Everything will be alright.” The electronic voice gently, without the slightest emotion, replied to him once again.
Hearing this phrase, he paused. The corner of his mouth couldn’t help but climb higher and higher.
“I always feel that I’m like a thief now. Perhaps this is a shameless method, and could even be considered as immoral in some respects, but…” His gaze fell onto the bouquet for a long time, “Not being able to even ask for it, it’s truly unbearable.”
“Is this a turn for the better?”
Shen Zhirou sat cross-legged on the sofa, tapping on the keyboard, her expression utterly despairing.
This was already the fifteenth time she’d sent her picture to the Nation’s Beautiful Girl contest, and she had been dropped from the first round again.
She silently gazed at the black-and-white portrait hung in the living room, utterly distressed. She couldn’t understand why this world was incapable of appreciating her beauty.
At this moment, that awfully beautiful yet awfully incensing cat charged into her house once again.
Almost noiselessly, the cat came in like it owned the place. Its pretty fur and large tail stuck up as if it were in a rather good mood. Gracefully, it dropped down from the balcony, its fur such a snowy white that it almost shone.
Fuck, w-w-why was it back again?
She observed her opponent cautiously. This time, she found that something was a little different.
It held the stem of a lovely and fresh white flower in its mouth. Lifting its head and catching sight of Shen Zhirou observing it, the cat shot her an indifferent glance. As if it hadn’t seen her at all, it swept past.
“…You’re really quite rude.”
Shen Zhirou had been angered to the point where she had no more rage, and couldn’t help but sigh with feeling. But since she didn’t believe her luck was that bad, she refused to accept that, last time, she hadn’t been able to touch the cat at all. This time, without the obstacle that was her brother, she didn’t believe that she wouldn’t be able to touch it.
And so, with a sudden stride forward, she blocked the way of the kitty who was just about to take a step upstairs.
The cat tilted its head and recoiled a step, gracefully crouched as it watched her. It was indeed very elegant, like a well-cultivated gentleman, making her sheepishly want to give a sinister smile, like a villain whose schemes were on the verge of succeeding.
Shen Zhirou suddenly felt slightly embarrassed and didn’t know whether or not it was because this cat’s eyes seemed to see through her too well.
Softly, she said, “I’ll just pat once, then let you pass.”
The cat coldly retreated another step. It was really very indifferent, and Shen Zhirou could absolutely see the cold contempt in its eyes.
Shen Zhirou, “…”
She really couldn’t accept this. “Can’t you just let me pet you once?”
“Oh, did the kitty come again?”
Shen Zhirou blanked. Shen Zhifan was already at the top of the staircase.
Shen Zhirou didn’t even have time to complain about her little grievance, when she saw that the cat had swiftly gone from her side and rushed over, quickly and easily squeezing into Shen Zhifan’s arms again.
And it was especially shameless, giving a particularly soft and cute ‘meow meow’. It was so adorably tender that one could pinch water out from the sound.
This gentlemanly old master cat, in front of her, was no ordinary old master. Now, it’d changed its face so fast, leaving Shen Zhirou dumbstruck as she heard its soft noises.
“Shen Zhirou, don’t bully other people’s little cats.” Shen Zhifan felt very sorry, petting the cat and chiding Shen Zhirou extremely bluntly.
Shen Zhirou, “???”
Who’s bullying who, get it right, who’s bullying who???
However, Shen Zhifan’s whole focus was on the cat and he didn’t have the mind for her explanations whatsoever. Like last time, he left her with an exceptionally cold and detached shadow of his back.
…She really wanted to leave home and live somewhere else QAQ.
The fact that the male god’s cat had returned made Shen Zhifan very happy. He felt that he had reasonable grounds to call on the esteemed General again.
He rubbed the cat’s paw for a while again, utterly satisfied.
But there was a little inconvenience at this moment…
He looked at the cat which was lying on the bed, its perfectly round and incisive blue eyes as clean as the sea, so cute and innocent that it seemed to not contain a trace of impurity.
“Kitty, I need to sleep soon,” His face reddened slightly, “And I need to undress. How about you go home, alright?”
Ever since he was little, Shen Zhifan had a habit.
If he didn’t sleep naked, he couldn’t sleep at all.
The author has something to say:
#Look at this shameless cat#
- 1穷极一生求而不得的爱恋 – oof this translates to something along the lines of ‘a love that cannot be obtained even through a lifetime of pointless persistence’. The General gets more Sad and AngstyTM points from me!