bonus ko-fi chapter passionately requested by Zulima Ike ( ◡‿◡ )❤
The days passed by quickly, and the wisteria grew out its branches, which bent and twisted as they climbed onto the window sill. It was tender and green, looking very adorable.
Such a thick wisteria would definitely be very beautiful when it blooms. I couldn’t help but imagine the magnificent sight of the whole house’s exterior walls covered by its small purple flowers.
Unfortunately… No matter how much I look forward to seeing it bloom in the coming year, I’m afraid I won’t be able to see it.
I am losing control of my body, and my internal strength is dissipating bit by bit as well. Every time the severe pain strikes, it would take longer and longer to disappear.
I think the cause of my death will probably be due to the loss of my internal strength, the failure of my internal organs, and finally, dying from vomiting blood.
Fortunately, Psycho’s body is getting better and better; this is probably the only thing worth feeling relieved for.
I got sick several times in Xiao Zhongnan’s bed. I was trembling from the pain and could not let my bed partner notice, so I struggled to get up and stagger out of the room. I waited until I had reached my own room before vomiting blood until I became exhausted.
Once, the noise woke up Xiao Zhongnan, and I tried to act strong and calmly told him that it was just a urinary urgency.
“You sweat all over when you pee?” He saw me lying down again and wiped my neck.
Isn’t this my cold sweat that came out of my body?
I was still feeling weak at the moment. I closed my eyes and responded to him vaguely, “It was too hot today.”
The next day, a lot of ice chunks were sent to my room. When Xiao Zhongnan slept over there that night, he also let people put several basins of ice in the corner. It was so pleasantly cool that there was not a trace of the hot weather.
After more than ten days of this, I noticed that the days where I feel fine were getting less and less frequent, so I told Xiao Zhongnan that I wanted to take another look at that big lake that we had seen before.
Xiao Zhongnan always agrees to my requests, and so he brought me to the grassland that night.
With the sky as our canopy and the ground as our mat, we made love—on the meadows, in the lake, the starry sky as our witness. It was too marvelous for words.
With the time we have left, I wanted to put aside the past and not think about anything, needed to not think about anything, and just have fun with Xiao Zhongnan as much as I please. After that, it doesn’t matter whether I live or die; I have enjoyed my life to the fullest anyway.
“After tonight, I will have no more regrets with my life.” I lay bare on Xiao Zhongnan’s naked chest, a wrinkled coat over my shoulders.
He stroked my hair softly, from top to bottom, down to my waist.
“Your life is still long, why won’t you have any regrets right away?” His voice was deep and husky, with a bit of satiated languidness.
Your life is still long, but for me, I don’t know how much there is that’s left.
My heart was aching, I buried my face in his embrace and said, “How can I have any regrets if I can hold the magnificent Great Castle Master Xiao to sleep? How many people would be envious of me, how greatly fortunate I am!”
I couldn’t help feeling miserable at the thought that I was going to silently die where he couldn’t see. I especially wanted to grab his lapels and tell him in a loud voice, “I’m going to die for you, so you cannot forget me! You can’t be without a conscience!” But if he knew, he would definitely be sad and feel sorry for me.
Once he’s sad, I also won’t be any better.
So, instead of the two of us feeling hurt, it would be better if I am the only one hurting, letting him think that I am far away, traveling through the mountains and rivers. This is better than letting him know that I died for him.
“Behave, I just let you sleep.” His voice carried a trace of a smile in it.
When I heard that, I also smiled. “I am behaving, I am the most behaved.” The sound of his heartbeat was right by my ears. I closed my eyes. “Are there any fish in the lake? I want to eat grilled fish tomorrow.”
“Yes, I will catch some for you tomorrow.”
“I want you to feed me.” Just like in the cave.
“I only feed someone with broken hands and feet.” He pats me on the back as if he was coaxing a child to sleep.
I stretched out my hand in front of him. “Here, break it, ba.”
In the end, he still didn’t break my hand, but he held me under him and opened his mouth.
“Let me do it one more time, and I’ll feed you tomorrow.” He seduced.
I smiled at him. “Alright!” This condition is really too easy to satisfy.
The next day he dived into the lake and caught a big fat fish. The grilled skin was crispy and the meat was tender. I sat beside him and asked him to feed it to me.
This is probably the best grilled fish I have ever eaten in my life.
After a few more days, Xiao Zhongnan told me that he was going into seclusion and that Xiao Mobei would be his guardian. He told me not to run around.
When I heard the news, I was a little surprised. “Why do you want to go into seclusion all of a sudden?”
His expression was tranquil and calm, but his eyes were filled with a joy that could not be concealed.
“These past few days, I feel that the blocked qi and blood in my body are showing signs of loosening. I want to use my internal force to give it a try. If it succeeds, I will no longer be under the influence of the madness and can completely return to being a normal person.”
Although there was still some uncertainty in his words, I know that he will succeed this time.
I exchanged my entire life for this person; if I still don’t succeed, I would burn that faulty book!
“That’s great! Brother Xiao, you will certainly succeed, and I’ll wait for you to come out.” I am genuinely and sincerely happy for him, even if I am now a useless person lacking internal strength.
The two brothers would enter seclusion soon. I calculated that the time was around the same. When Xiao Zhongnan goes into seclusion, Guardian Yang should also be coming to pick me up.
When that time comes, I would take advantage of the opportunity and leave with Guardian Yang, leaving a letter that says, “Many thanks, Castle Master Xiao, for your care over the past few days. I have gone to travel the land under the heavens and indulge in the mountains and rivers.” It must not be too perfect!
Yet unfortunately, that youngster Yang Chengqi didn’t arrive at the planned time, he came to me several days early.
I was stunned when I saw him. I grabbed his wrist and asked, “Why are you here right now? Didn’t I ask you to come back in a month’s time?”
Yang Chengqi was still dressed in his clothing like that night, and his expression was tense with inexplicable excitement. He explained to me, “The Black Hawk Castle has been heavily guarded recently. I’m afraid I won’t be able to leave with the Sect Master, so I came a few days earlier than the agreed time.”
“Didn’t I say that I still have something to do?”
“Yes, so I have already done it for you!” His mouth was split open into a big smile.
I was taken aback. “… done?”
This really was too strange. I stared at him blankly, not knowing what to say.
His eyes sparkled, and he took out a roll of things from inside his clothes to show me. “Sect Master, you stayed here only because you want to find something that can bring down the Wulin Alliance Leader and Black Hawk Castle, so I have found it! This is a confidential letter containing the dealings between Xiao Zhongnan, the Wulin Alliance Leader, and the Imperial Court. Sect Master, you definitely won’t believe it. All of the righteous cultivators and Wulin Alliance were originally under the control of the Imperial Court. Xiao Zhongnan and the Wulin Alliance Leader, that old codger, are both Imperial Court hawks and hounds! As long as this news is spread to the world, the Black Hawk Castle and Wulin Alliance Leader can never think about having an easy time again.”
This enormous secret shocked me by no small amount. For a time, the words Wulin Alliance Leader, Xiao Zhongnan, and Imperial Court appeared alternately in my mind, almost mixing up my thoughts into a tremendous muddle.
However, now is really not the time to marvel at the Imperial Court’s methods and be curious about Xiao Zhongnan’s role in all this. Yang Chengqi’s stealing this confidential letter is simply courting disaster, I must return this thing quickly while no one has discovered it yet!
“Leave the letter with me and go, I will look for you in a few days,” I told him. “Still? Why do you still want to stay?” He was puzzled, “Can’t we just go together right now?”
Go, what go?!
If the people of Black Hawk Castle found out that such an important thing was lost, we will be hunted down for thousands of miles. If that happened, how could I, a cripple with no internal strength, escape their net?!
I snatched the bundle of confidential letters, and scolded him, “You idiot, I’m letting you go so just go. Where is all this nonsense coming from…”
I was still in the middle of losing my temper when I felt the atmosphere around me suddenly change, a sense of crisis immediately sweeping over me.
The one who reacted first was Yang Chengqi. He pulled his mask back over his face and turned around to escape. However, the big net that fell from the sky was too thick and foolproof. In just a short while, we were wrapped up and directly caught.
Black Hawk Castle’s guards, who emerged from who knows where, surrounded us like two turtles stuck in a jar.
“Why are you leaving in such a hurry? Stay for meal!”
I turned around in horror to look at the place where the voice came from and found two people slowly walking out of the dim corner. One was Xiao Mobei who had just spoken, and the other was…
“Brother Xiao…” I called his name in a hoarse voice, and the panic in my heart became more and more intense.
How can I explain all of this? Does he know everything? Why did he go out of seclusion so suddenly? Has his illness recovered?
His gaze on me was similar to that of ice, without the slightest temperature and capable of making people tremble with fear; he only needed to utter a couple words to make all my hopes vanish.
“This brother really doesn’t dare accept the honor,” he said, “Sect Master Han.”
…Sect Master Han?!
I staggered and unconsciously took half a step back, my voice was faint. “You… already knew my identity?”
He nodded and looked at me calmly. “Yes, I already knew; Lin Yue told me in the woods before he died. He said that you had approached me just to use me to help you regain the position of the demon sect’s sect master. He also said that one day you would betray me for the sake of HanYiJiao and make Black Hawk Castle into the laughingstock of Wulin…”
I interrupted him in a loud voice. “No! I didn’t have any purpose whatsoever in approaching you.”
I have never known how to play with conspiracies and crafty plots in my whole life, but I am often misunderstood as a person who is well versed in such matters. This is really the Heavens toying with me, ridiculous, too ridiculous!
Xiao Mobei snorted coldly. “Then how will you explain the letters in your hand? They never walked into your hand by themselves, right?”
I dazedly stared at the terrible things in my hand, wishing that I could put them back into Yang Chengqi’s hand again.
Other people sowed it while I got the harvest. Now, even if I have a thousand mouths, I’m afraid I still wouldn’t be able to clear the misunderstanding.
In fact, for what reason am I trying to clear it up?
Either way, I can’t live much longer… Perhaps it’s not that bad to die in Psycho’s hands.
Now that I think about it, he may have begun suspecting me a long time ago. A pile of pieces is not without a trace; I just didn’t notice because I didn’t set up my defenses at all.
Having figured it out, I laughed in a low voice, and when I looked at Xiao Zhongnan again, my previous panic was gone.
“It’s true that I am not a deserter disciple of the demon sect. I am Han Qingyan, the 26th Sect Master of HanYiJiao. I inherited the position of the previous Sect Master and I am the true Sect Master of the demon sect.” I pointed to Yang Chengqi who was on the ground, “This is Guardian Yang. He stole something of such importance from the Castle Master. I am really sorry. I apologize to Castle Master Xiao on behalf of this insensible subordinate.” After that, I bowed.
Xiao Zhongnan’s face contained neither happiness nor anger as he asked, “So you stayed with me all this time just so you could use me?”
My heart hurts, I can feel something fishy and sweet in my throat. It seems that I’m going to vomit blood again.
“You probably won’t believe what I say anyway.” I smiled miserably. “You’re going to kill me, right?”
Heavens above, if you want me to exchange my life with his, please let him never know the truth behind everything.
Otherwise, it would certainly be too evil…
He looked at me for a long time and suddenly took a step forward. “You are the sect master of the demon sect. You lied to me for so long. You arbitrarily stole confidential letters with the intention of disrupting the entirety of Wulin…” He walked towards me step by step, his pace firm and steady, and he cleanly came to a stop in front of Yang Chengqi, “Every reason is enough to kill you once and for all.” As soon as he finished speaking, his sword slashed at Guardian Yang, and I was alarmed. I was thinking about blocking it with my body, but I didn’t expect that he would merely slash the net without hurting Yang Chengqi.
“However, I don’t want to taint my sword, leave!” He coldly looked askance at me and then, sheathing his sword, turned and left.
I opened my mouth, wanting to stop him. He had already walked a few steps away when his figure flinched and he hurriedly used his hand to support his forehead. He was actually showing signs of his illness again.
At the same time I moved my feet, Xiao Mobei quickly reached his brother to support him.
Xiao Zhongnan pushed him away a little, indicating that he did not need to support him. He turned his head to look at me, and said coldly and strictly, “Leave Black Hawk Castle now!”
His clothes were not messed up, his hair was neatly tied, and he was still the solemn and steady Black Hawk Castle Castle Master, yet for no reason whatsoever, I felt that his anger was already on the verge of becoming dangerous. It seemed that just a little bit more instigation and he wouldn’t be able to help slashing me with his sword.
Xiao Mobei frowned fiercely and urged, “Still not rushing to leave? Do you really want to stay behind for a meal, ah!”
I pursed my lips and put the roll of the confidential letter in my hand on the ground, and then lent an arm to support Guardian Yang at the side.
“Good… bye.”1HQY said, Meet (you) later… at an unspecified period of time. It’s like saying, take care… (forever) or see you later… (most likely never). Sayonara would be so fitting. I said to Xiao Zhongnan’s figure from behind.
He seemed to have no more patience to even glance at me again and walked away quickly as if he had heard nothing.
Yang Chengqi quickly used his light footwork and led me out of Black Hawk Castle. I looked back at the direction of Xiao Zhongnan’s departure with incomparable nostalgia, but couldn’t wait for him to look back.
I won’t see this person again… The pain made me unable to breathe easily and I was clutching my chest.
“Sect Master… did your subordinate make a mistake?” The atmosphere just now seemed to have made Yang Chengqi aware that something was wrong, and his tone was very anxious at the moment.
I shook my head and said softly, “It doesn’t concern you, it was my fault.”
Although it was somewhat different from what I planned, this is also fine.
In this way, even if Xiao Zhongnan learns about my death in the future, he wouldn’t be too brokenhearted.
He would simply think, Oh, wasn’t that the bastard who lied to me? Good riddance! He deserved it!
- 1HQY said, Meet (you) later… at an unspecified period of time. It’s like saying, take care… (forever) or see you later… (most likely never). Sayonara would be so fitting.