Chapter 163 – Lin Zi Rui’s True Feelings

Mother Yang was usually very gentle, but when she became angry, no one would be unafraid of her.

Not to mention that this was the first meeting between Mother Yang and the Lin parents. They were scolded until they didn’t know how to retort.

“Regarding…… I suddenly remembered this. Talking about how Shao Yu and Zi Rui met, I still have to thank you for letting them get to know each other.”

“What, what do you mean?” Mother Lin had absolutely no idea what Mother Yang was saying. Just what did that sentence meant?

“They first met during the blind date. The one who should have gone was Lin Le but Zi Rui went on her behalf, so they met. I’m now extremely glad that Lin Le didn’t go, but was Zi Rui instead. So like this, they can meet each other. Even though I wasn’t too positive about the fact that my son is together with a man at the beginning, I feel that Zi Rui is very good, I like him a lot.”

The Lin parents had once wondered how they met before, but hadn’t expected it to be like this.

Mother Lin finally recalled it; at that time her good friend wanted to introduce a man to Lin Le. Mother Lin hadn’t wanted Lin Le to marry out so early, so she rejected. But that friend kept praising that the male’s family background was good and he was handsome. Mother Lin was a little moved. Perhaps introducing him to Lin Le would be pretty good too, so she ended up agreeing. Yet, when she mentioned this to Lin Le, Lin Le kept making a fuss, saying that she didn’t want to go on the blind date. As such, she had Zi Rui go in place of Lin Le, to explain the situation clearly.

But how would she know that they would meet then?

“Even if it’s like this, Zi Rui, you would better think it through. Hurry and break up with this man. I’m doing this out of your considerations…… “ Father Lin hadn’t even said finish before Mother Yang raged.

Seeing that they still didn’t understand her words and even wanted to snatch away her second daughter-in-law, she slapped the table, “Don’t you think that I don’t know how you two treat Zi Rui. Clearly you have been so cold and indifferent to him, yet now you claim that you are doing this for his good. From what I see, you two are just hypocritical beings.”

“Mom, don’t be angry. Your hand must be aching from that slap.” Lin Zi Rui stood up and walked towards Mother Yang. He held and looked at Mother Yang’s hand which was tightly pressed against the table. It was indeed red.

“Dad, Mom, I wish to talk to them myself.”

Mother Yang disapproved, “There’s nothing to talk to them about.”

“Mom, it’s best to let Zi Rui talk to them personally.” Yang Shao Yu knew the intentions of Lin Zi Rui.

“Yeah, dear.” Father Yang also agreed.

“Okay then. Call me if there’s anything.” Mother Yang still didn’t look too at ease.

Lin Zi Rui smiled and said, “Okay. Don’t worry, Mom.”

Mother Lin looked at them and didn’t feel pleased. She had never been so intimate with Zi Rui before. And Zi Rui even cared this much about her. She really let this woman off too easily.

Lin Zi Rui said so and turned around to talk to the Lin parents, “Let’s chat in the other room.”

“Okay.” Father Lin agreed. He pulled Mother Lin to walk out. Talking alone was good too. Like this, they wouldn’t have to be harassed by this menacing Mother Yang.

The three went to the room which Lin parents used before. Lin Zi Rui sat down and said, “Firstly, I will not break up with Shao Yu.”

Father and Mother Lin immediately wanted to say something, but Lin Zi Rui continued, “Shao Yu is the first person that I liked and actively chased. My eye for people is good. Shao Yu is really someone worthy of my liking, my love.

“Shao Yu is also the first one to give me a feeling of being placed preciously in the depth of one’s heart, the feeling of being loved. He let me experience the feeling of how a warm heart can get so passionate and blazing. Being with him really makes me so happy. It is the first time I have felt so blessed ever since I was young. Even his family is warm too. They say that I am part of their family. Other than Big Brother and Second Brother, they are the only ones who gave me the love of a family.”

Mother Lin heard and felt a little panicked in her heart, “We are your true family……”

“No, not at all. You two are my biological parents, but from my memories, I have never felt love from you two before. Not even a drop of care. I tried my hardest, I studied hard to get good grades just to get your praises. Yet I have never gotten them. Because I know you love Little Sister, so I worked hard to be a good brother, worked so hard to love Little Sister. I did all these so you could say I was really good and maybe even hug me.” 

“But as I grow older, I also realised that what’s impossible still wouldn’t belong to me even if I use force or beg for it. I also don’t want to purposely fawn over you two. During my adolescence, I never had parents to fetch me to and from school. When I’m alone with no parents during Parent-Teacher Conferences, I get very sad when I see others with their parents. These all formed an unforgettable anguish that can’t be extinguished no matter my age. Yet, I had never expected for my own birth parents to make me so bitterly disappointed. The moment you knew I liked men, you immediately disowned me, threw me out without even taking a moment to consider. I am thoroughly through with you two, and I have absolutely no more expectations from you.”

Father and Mother Lin quietly listened to Lin Zi Rui’s words. The emotions called ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ bubbled up from the bottom of their hearts. How could they be this muddle-headed? Zi Rui was their son, yet for more than 20 years, they treated him just like a stranger.

“No matter what, I will always be with Shao Yu. Even if you agree or disagree, or if you sever our ties, my decision won’t change. With that, I’ve said enough. I’ll leave first.” Lin Zi Rui stood up and bowed to them. Then, without looking back, he left the room.

The Lin parents had no face to stop Lin Zi Rui and had even less face to see Lin Zi Rui.

They sat in the room for a long time. They only went home when the sun had completely set.

The moment Mother Lin arrived home, she went straight into Lin Zi Rui’s room. She wanted to see the room Zi Rui lived in before.

Sitting atop of Zi Rui’s bed, Mother Yang touched the bedsheet. Cold. It was just like the room. Its owner hadn’t come back for a long time, making it cold.

She no longer remembered Zi Rui’s age when she gave birth to Lin Le. Then after, she gradually forgot her youngest son who wasn’t even a couple of years old. No, it should be said that she hadn’t thought of it. When Lin Le came out, Father Lin and her were extremely happy, hating that they couldn’t give their all to Lin Le. Hence, when Lin Zi Rui was only this small, she hadn’t given him a single bit of her mother’s love, never showed him her care and concern.

Mother Lin’s face became darker. Thinking of her eldest and second eldest son who frequently called Lin Zi Rui, “Xiao Rui, Xiao Rui”, she, as Xiao Rui’s mother, had never called such as affectionate name before, and had never even called out these two words, “Zi Rui”, much.

All the way till Zi Rui gradually grew up, she placed more heart onto Lin Le, afraid that she would suffer in school, afraid that she would date. But she had never once gone to Zi Rui’s Parent-Teacher Conference.

Not even once.

Zi Rui said that this was his unforgettable anguish.

When Mother Lin thought of this, her heart became sad. She had let down Zi Rui.

The room door opened. Father Lin walked in and sat next to Mother Lin, “It’s us who let down Zi Rui, let down our own child. I had never realised that I was actually this heartless and selfish. The surnamed Yang person’s scolding was right.”

Mother Lin lowered her head in shame. She noticed that on the lowest shelf on the book cabinet, there was a wooden box. She took the box in curiosity and opened it. There was a key lying inside.

“What’s this?” Father Lin looked at the key in Mother Lin’s hand.

“It should be a key for something.” 

Father Lin heard and looked around. Then, he saw a big wooden box on the top of the cabinet.

After bringing down the box, he opened it with the key. In the box seemed to be things Lin Zi Rui used when he was young. There were a few handwritten notes. Mother Lin had never seen Lin Zi Rui’s things. She took up one note and looked at it. On it were written some things for him to note. There was one very special little bottle. Mother Lin took out the small note inside it. It was a rolled up piece of paper. Opening it up, the words written on it were most probably from when Lin Zi Rui was very young. The written words were messy and tilted: I hope Mommy and Daddy can hug me.

Beside it was a smiley face drawn.

Mother Lin couldn’t help but turn sour nosed. Her tears fell one by one. She gripped the paper tightly and wailed bitterly. She was so remorseful, so regretful. She regretted not being good to Zi Rui, not caring much for Zi Rui and not loving Zi Rui.

If only she was good to Zi Rui, Zi Rui would have been very caring towards her. She wouldn’t have to feel so bitter.

As Father Lin hugged Mother Lin, the two of them repented together.

Countdown to Finale: 4

Editor: CarelessPurple 

Proofreader: Celare