Chapter 44

Content Warning: This chapter may contain depictions of violence, sex, offensive language and has been marked NSFW

T/N: I already announced this in the Discord server, but I’ll be posting the remaining extra chapters on a fortnightly basis due to personal circumstances. Thank you for your understanding and patience!

Editor: Mimishijie


 

[Extra #1] Day 36 – Bu Doudou says ‘meow’, Bu Doudou says ‘meow’, and after Bu Doudou says ‘meow’, Bu Daidai says ‘meow’

One day in May, Song Ran and Bubu brought a small stray cat home.

The stray, a domestic Li Hua breed, had waited on the path Bubu took to school for the perfect time to stage a fake accident. It rolled its fluffy little body into the path of the bicycle’s wheels, then lay there on its belly and mewed continuously while refusing to get out of the way. Song Ran stopped the bicycle and looked at it together with Bubu for a while—scrawny, little, dirty, and weak, it looked like an alley cat that nobody wanted. Why not take it home?

The two of them whispered for a bit, then came to an agreement.

As a result, the little Li Hua sat in the bamboo basket, meowing happily the entire way to Jadewater Bay.

In 8012B’s living room, the air pressure was extremely low and filled with tension.

“Bu Doudou, look, this is your new little brother! Hurry up and say hello!”

Song Ran showed the little Li Hua to Bu Doudou.

“Yow!”

Bu Doudou, accustomed to being an only child, had lived in the lap of luxury since it was young. Now it was furious, baring its teeth and glaring at the little Li Hua with the intention of chasing out this little bastard who was intruding upon its territory.

“Myeeowowow!”

However, the little Li Hua refused to give way. Despite being only one-fifth of Bu Doudou’s size, it brazenly challenged the other cat by unsheathing ten dagger-sharp claws from its front paws. 

Bu Doudou regularly had its claws trimmed, so its weaponry was slightly inferior. Unable to win the fight, it had no choice but to walk away angrily nursing a grudge.

Bubu understood. “Big Brother, they hate each other!”

Song Ran held his chin in his hand. “Mm-hm.”

Bubu asked, “But why? The little cat is clearly so cute.”

“Probably because they’re still unacquainted,” Song Ran guessed. “It’ll probably be fine in a few days.”

“Okay.” Bubu patted the little Li Hua as he gave it advice, saying, “You’re still little, so you can’t beat Bu Doudou. You have to hurry up and have it accept you.”

The little Li Hua, polishing its claws in secret, couldn’t care less.

After He Zhiyuan came back from work in the evening, he discovered a cute new guest in their home. He didn’t mind raising another cat, so after confirming Song Ran and Bubu’s intention to adopt it, he put the little Li Hua in a kennel and made a trip to the neighbourhood’s nearby veterinary.

With a genial smile, the French vet provided a series of thorough services that included bathing, deworming, and a health check-up before finally presenting an astonishing bill that established the little Li Hua’s value.

The little Li Hua received fluffy and clean fur as well as a healthy skin and gut, but it lost the ten claws that symbolised its combat effectiveness. Feeling wronged, it licked its paws in the kennel.

After they returned home, Bu Doudou observed that its opponent had been disarmed, so it promptly turned into a bolt of lightning and pounced, scaring the little Li Hua into hiding beneath the sofa. Bu Doudou couldn’t squeeze its way in because it was too tubby; it swiped at the underside of the sofa for a long time while lying on the ground in various positions without success, then threateningly bolted up onto the tea table. Just like a military commander defending his city, it stared at the edge of the sofa and yowled its aggressive intentions whenever the little Li Hua stuck its head out.

“Hm, what name should we give it?”

After dinner, the family of three sat on the sofa as they discussed the matter of a new name. Bubu held the little Li Hua, Song Ran held Bu Doudou, and He Zhiyuan sat in the middle, serving as the border between the two opposing sides in case warfare broke out between the cats.

Bubu insisted on one point. “It should be just like me, with the last name Bu!”

He Zhiyuan reminded him, “Darling, your last name is He.”

“Right, my last name is He!” Only then did Bubu recall the formal name behind his nickname, and he smiled in embarrassment. “Then what should it be called, He Xiaohua? He Xiaomi? He Xiaomiao?”

“It’s a cat, so it’d be best to pick a name that’s about the same as Bu Doudou’s. How about”—Song Ran had a flash of inspiration—”Bu Daidai?”

“Bu Daidai!” Bubu liked it a lot. “Okay, let’s call it Bu Daidai!”

Before anyone realised, Bu Doudou had half-escaped Song Ran’s hold with a nimble twist of its body and swiped at the little Li Hua. He Zhiyuan, unruffled, intercepted the vicious surprise attack.

“Yow—!”

Damn bitch cat, you’re not worthy of that name!

Bu Doudou bared its teeth and showed its claws.

As Song Ran held back the raging Bu Doudou, he asked He Zhiyuan for his opinion. “Do you think this name sounds good?”

“Yes.” He Zhiyuan smiled and nodded. “Any name you pick sounds good.”

As a result, the little Li Hua received a new name: Bu Daidai. At the same time, it also received a mortal enemy: Bu Doudou.

Bu Daidai was truly too small. The vet said it was at most only two months old, and its growth was also stunted from malnutrition. In comparison, Bu Doudou was five years old and weighed twelve pounds, so it could crush Bu Daidai with just one of its buttocks. However, Bu Daidai was bright and clever. It couldn’t fight, but it could hide, so it walked along the foot of the walls every day while looking left and right to keep an eye out for its enemy; when it was chased, it would slip underneath the sofa, which made the big furball repeatedly stamp its foot and occasionally run to Song Ran for comfort.

“Meowowow!”

The little bastard is bullying me! You brought it back, so take responsibility!

Song Ran saw through it at a glance. “The bully was obviously you, I saw it.”

Having failed at calling in reinforcements and unable to chase off the little bastard, Bu Doudou felt extremely wronged. It dejectedly curled up into a ball on the sofa and wasn’t even in the mood to eat the delicious-smelling canned cat food.

But what nobody expected was that not even two months had passed in this manner before Bu Daidai turned the tables and began to bully Bu Doudou.

Everyone knew that Ragdoll cats had mild temperaments and weak stomachs, and although they were large in size, they didn’t have much attack power. On the other hand, as a domestic hybrid breed, Li Hua cats had the advantage of its genetic heritage, agility, and swift reaction times; in the wild, it would draw blood with a single attack upon any bird or rodent. Most importantly, Li Hua cats had stomachs with formidable tolerances—they’d absorb whatever they ate. After being fed and watered well by Song Ran for two months, it gained muscle and strengthened its bones, so it began its counterattack against Bu Doudou.

Late that night, when Song Ran and Mr He had locked lips all the way from the bedroom to the living room and were getting ready to do a bit of something naughty on the sofa, four glittering green eyes flashed in the darkness, making Song Ran’s prick go soft from fright.

Mr He turned on the light, revealing the scene on the sofa—Bu Daidai was pressing Bu Doudou down while securely biting the scruff of Bu Doudou’s neck, and Bu Doudou was desperately struggling and whining underneath.

“Wh-what… are they doing?”

Song Ran was dumbstruck.

Mr He said, “Probably the same thing as us.”

“Oh my.” Song Ran bashfully leaned against Mr He’s chest. “They’re so shameless.”

Mr He: “…”

It was a bit mean to make such veiled accusations.

Of course, the so-called ‘same thing as us’ was just a joke; taking into consideration that Bu Daidai and Bu Doudou were both male cats, Mr He and Song Ran didn’t take their actions to be ‘copulation’ but rather a type of ‘fighting’ for territory.

Bu Doudou had grievances but nowhere to vent them.

As it looked at the two increasingly-magnificent furry balls beneath Bu Daidai’s tail and the pink prick that occasionally emerged to peep at the world, it only felt its chrysanthemum tremble. During this period, in order to protect its chrysanthemum, no matter how delicious the can of chicken it ate was or how warm the sunlight it sunbathed in was or how happy it was from being petted, it didn’t dare to lift its tail up.

At night, when it heard the unrestrained moans from the master bedroom and saw the dangerous pair of green eyes in the corner, it felt its hair stand on end and its entire body go cold.

The first time Mr He and Song Ran decided to face the problem of the two cats ‘fighting’ was in the third month of raising Bu Daidai.

That day, the sunlight was bright and the temperature was comfortable. Bubu was at kindergarten and only the two of them were at home, so it was very well-suited for a round of an immoral love affair. The couple engaged in a lively entanglement on the sofa, one going up and the other going down; warm sweat dripped down their bodies as the pillows and blankets landed all over the ground.

Song Ran’s legs were opened wide and wrapped tightly around Mr He’s waist; in time with the rhythm of the pounding, his cries were both unrestrained and alluring.

Just one step away from climaxing, a shrill scream burst from the living room. Bu Doudou scurried up the sofa and ran along the long sofa back, with Bu Daidai chasing close behind like a ghost. The two cats crashed into a corner of the walls, got tangled up in the curtains, and rolled into a ball.

Then a hot liquid was shot into Song Ran’s body.

“…”

Song Ran froze up, and Mr He froze up as well.

The two of them looked at each other for a while. Song Ran’s breathing gradually calmed down, and he stammered, “Uh… I-it’s all the cats’ fault, so… please don’t feel stressed out…”

“It’s all my fault.” Mr He lowered his head to kiss Song Ran. “Darling, I’ll make it up to you.”

If he came early, then he came early; he never made excuses for himself.

He cast a meaningful glance at the two ‘fighting’ cats, then picked up Song Ran in his arms and carried him into the home theatre—there, it would absolutely be quiet and undisturbed by others. Consequently, Song Ran lay prone on the camellia-red sofa while holding a pillow and was ‘compensated’ by Mr He for an afternoon to the point where his mind went foggy and his sweat and tears both flowed.

“It’s all… it’s all the cats’ fault…” He weakly gasped for breath, looking at the used condoms on the ground as he choked out, “It would’ve been over after just one time…”

Early next morning, Bu Daidai was taken to be neutered, after which it came back with a cone around its neck—neither Bu Doudou nor Bu Daidai had its balls anymore, so 8012B was finally at peace.

Bu Daidai had first lost its ten claws, then its two balls. So angry that its eyes emitted a murderous light, it threw itself onto the sisal board and madly clawed away to vent its rage. However, in any case, its two full and cute balls still could not come back.

Bu Doudou suddenly felt a bit sympathetic towards it.

As a fellow eunuch, it best understood this kind of pain.

Actually, Bu Daidai’s temperament wasn’t too annoying, and the other cat even complemented Bu Doudou a bit: one calm and one fierce, one fat and one thin, and one expensive and the other cheap (this was the important point). Even when they chased each other around because they had nothing else to do, life was still quite happy.

So Bu Doudou walked over, lay next to Bu Daidai, and began to lick the other cat’s fur, giving consolation as it licked: Don’t be sad, bud, I’ve also undergone this unspeakable humiliation.

Bu Daidai had lost its balls, but in its saddest times, it received the consolation of its companion. Like a cactus with its spines pulled off one by one, hostility turned into friendship in an instant, and it also began to affectionately lick Bu Doudou.

The relationship between the cats was no longer one in which they gave tit for tat; they had become fast gay friends who comfortably sunbathed together all day long and didn’t go into heat, didn’t fight for territory, and didn’t covet each other’s chrysanthemums.

Bu Doudou finally dared to hold its tail up as it walked.

How nice!

The relationship between Bu Daidai and Bu Doudou advanced by leaps and bounds, and the two became inseparable. However, during this period in which they could not bear to part from each other, the first major trial in their cat lives befell them.

The couple who owned 8012A had come back from Australia.

Song Ran had received the news from Auntie Ji half a month earlier, so he promptly tidied up his belongings and moved completely into 8012B. The distance between the two homes was too small and Mr He alone could carry ten boxes, so it was easily settled with no need to ask others for help at all.

The day the old couple came back, Song Ran sent the big furball Bu Doudou back in perfect condition. The old couple, seeing that their home was bright and clean and the plant growth was lush, could tell at a glance that everything had been attentively taken care of for the past half year. They enthusiastically expressed their thanks to Song Ran, chatted with him for a good while, and even insisted on personally escorting him downstairs just before parting ways.

Song Ran scratched his scalp and said in a small voice, “I… I don’t need to go downstairs, I live right across the hallway.”

“Huh?”

The old couple didn’t understand.

In the end, it was He Zhiyuan who came out and invited the couple to sit down in 8012B before politely recounting what had happened over the past half a year. The old couple was a rather logical pair, not people who stubbornly stuck to old ideas. They felt that by renting out their home, they had inadvertently facilitated a fated meeting of lovers, and happily congratulated the couple to the point where Song Ran felt particularly embarrassed.

They went home after chatting, but just as they opened the door, they saw a grey flash of lightning streak past their feet and across the hallway, blocking 8012B’s door from closing before going inside.

The old couple looked at each other.

Song Ran hurried in and carried Bu Doudou, who was unwilling to leave even if its life depended on it, back out before explaining, “It’s been living at our place these past few months, so I guess it got settled in and isn’t accustomed to a different place. It should… be fine in a few days.” 

But that very night, Bu Doudou pawed at the gap of the door and bit the doorknob, meowing as it scratched at the door all night long.

Behind the door across the corridor, Bu Daidai also meowed non-stop, its cries shrill and piercing. It even harassed Song Ran and Mr He several times, bringing them to the door to convey the message “Hurry up and open the door for me”.

Early the next day, Bubu had to go to kindergarten and the old couple had to go buy groceries, so the doors to both households opened at the same time.

In a flash, Bu Doudou and Bu Daidai bolted out and simultaneously rushed to the opposite door. Both cats saw each other midway through, but because they were going too quickly and the marble floor was too slippery, they weren’t able to stop. Instead, they slid past each other in the corridor and crashed into the opposing home’s door. Then they swiftly turned around, rushed back, and threw themselves upon each other in the middle of the corridor.

The five people were all struck dumb by the sight.

They decided to set aside ten minutes to formally discuss the problem of the two cats’ affections.

The old couple and the three members of the He family sat on the sofa and watched Bu Doudou and Bu Daidai bathe in the sun, affectionately cuddling while unabashedly licking each other’s fur.

By the looks of it, they wouldn’t be able to keep this cat.

They looked at He Zhiyuan and Song Ran, sounding like they were giving away their daughter’s hand in marriage as they said, “They can’t keep crying in the night like this. Yours cries and ours also cries, so nobody can sleep well. How about we let them be together?”

Song Ran tentatively asked, “Then… are you giving Bu Doudou to us or are we giving Bu Daidai to you?”

The old woman smiled. “Your family’s child looks to be quite fond of cats, so we’ll leave Bu Doudou to you. It just so happens that Old Li’s family poodle had a litter of pups—you know Old Li, right? The Auntie Li who introduced you to this place…”

Song Ran hurriedly nodded. “I do, I do!”

“Her poodle gave birth to five or six pups, so I’ll go ask for one and just raise dogs in the future. It just so happens that I’ll be able to take it out for a loop when I go out to exercise in the morning or evening. Regarding Bu Doudou, I believe you will be able to raise it well. We’ll occasionally come over for a look, okay?”

“Tha… thank you.”

Song Ran looked at the two inseparable cats, suddenly feeling moved.

Just like that, the proud and easily-pushed-over Bu Doudou finally was able to stay in 8012B and stay married forever to its fierce and handsome husband Bu Daidai. Probably because they had experienced a separation, the relationship between the two of them heated up; when they snuggled up together, even Song Ran didn’t want to see it.

Song Ran personally prepared a meal of cod and duck liver for the cats and filled a bowl for each of them, but just as he put them down, the two cats put their furry heads together and began to noisily lick at their food.

Song Ran untied his apron and said to He Zhiyuan, who was sitting on the sofa, “If they hadn’t been sterilised, I think they really would’ve been able to get it on.”

“This is also quite nice, it’s platonic love,” He Zhiyuan said mildly. “I hope that from now on, they can quietly be cats and not disturb our physical love anymore.”

“Ph-physical love…” Song Ran squinted at He Zhiyuan. “How come you’re so dirty?”

“It’s not that I’m dirty, it’s that platonic love can’t satisfy you.” He Zhiyuan shrugged and smiled, then held out a hand to Song Ran. “Come, darling, let’s do something dirty.”

Although Song Ran nagged, his body was very honest. He walked over, then passionately “got dirty” with Mr He on the sofa. 

These shameless days would probably never come to an end.

 

oden

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