T/N: There are actually thirteen extras altogether that vary in length and content, but the mini theatres (of which there are seven) are all pretty short so I’ve grouped them into one post. Enjoy, and please keep in mind as always that this is a work of fiction!
[Mini Theatre #1] The Day-to-Day Business of Mr Song’s Wonton Shop
One day, at midnight.
After sending out one final work email, Mr He went to the bathroom and took a hot shower. When he came out, clad in a bathrobe, he saw that the white duvet had formed a large lumpy shape.
He walked to the side of the bed, crossing his arms yet smiling. “Is the wonton shop open today?”
“How can the shop dare to not be open for business?” Song Ran’s muffled voice came from within the duvet. “Even the shop door has been dismantled for you and the cook has been poked for you. No matter how many meals you want to eat, I have to provide.”
Mr He pulled open the nightstand drawer and took out the tableware he used specifically for eating wontons.
A condom and a bottle of lube.
Upon hearing that sound, the big white wonton clearly trembled; it fearfully shifted ten centimetres towards the edge of the bed before being hauled back by the ravenous Mr He.
Song Ran stuck his head out, his black hair mussed. “Mr He, can we eat in a slightly more civilised manner today? I haven’t been able to work for several days now.”
When I stand to paint, my hips hurt.
When I sit to paint, my ass hurts.
When I ride my bicycle to the kindergarten to pick up Bubu, my hips and ass both hurt, and the teacher even asked if I was disabled.
“‘So long as the green hills are there, there’s no need to fear a lack of firewood.’ If you screw the cook to death, you won’t be able to eat good wontons either, isn’t that right?” Song Ran said, making use of logical explanations and emotional appeals. “Mr He, I’m begging you…”
Unmoved, Mr He lifted the wonton filling out of its wrapper. He stripped off Song Ran’s underwear and pressed him to the bed.
“How should you call me, hm?”
Song Ran blinked. “Mr He.”
Song Ran corrected himself. “Zhiyuan.”
Song Ran replied embarrassedly, “Hubby.”
Having had enough, Song Ran roared, “Do it if you want, but I’d rather die than say it!”
Mr He was a very patient partner who would absolutely never force Song Ran. He eagerly kissed and gently caressed, doting on his precious lover to the best of his ability.
The small bowl of fresh wonton soup was consumed one bite at a time until not even a drop remained.
In the latter half of the night, Song Ran was finally unable to endure it any longer. Sobbing and gasping for breath, he cried out, “Da… Daddy!”
Extremely satisfied, Mr He left a hefty ‘meal fee’, then pulled out and left the wonton shop.
The next morning, Mr He drove Bubu to kindergarten.
Bubu said, “Dada, I miss Big Brother’s wontons so much! He hasn’t made them for me in a really, really long time! Tell him to make them again.”
“All right, I’ll have him make them for you tomorrow.” He Zhiyuan licked his lips. “The ones that are ‘flavoured for children’.”
As for the ones that were ‘flavoured for adults’… only he could have it.
[Mini Theatre #2] The Constant Conflict Between the Former and the Current Partners
One night, the wontons had been cooked through and the tableware had been set. Before eating, Mr He suddenly became interested in sincerely mediating the conflict between the ‘former’ and ‘current’ partners from the sketch together with little Chef Song.
The former partner complained, “Darling, we haven’t even met, yet you made me your former partner without even giving me the chance to fight for you. I’m very hurt. Come, give me a consolation kiss.”
Red-faced, Song Ran gave him a kiss.
The current partner sighed. “He’s obviously a former partner already, yet you kiss him at the drop of a hat. I’m very hurt by my wife cheating right in front of my eyes. Come, give me an apology kiss.”
Red-faced, Song Ran gave him a kiss.
The former partner then seduced him. “Look, I’m handsome, have a good figure, and dress stylishly. Don’t I suit your taste very well? Come, give me a kiss, and I’ll take off one article of clothing right in front of you.”
Red-faced, Song Ran gave him a kiss.
But the current partner refused to give in. “Look, I’m very rich, gentle, and indulgent towards you. Don’t I suit the role of your partner very well? Come, give me a kiss, and I’ll fulfil one of your wishes.”
Red-faced, Song Ran gave him a kiss.
The former partner had a disappointed expression on his face. “No matter what, bearing the title of ‘former’ causes deep insecurity. To make up for it, you have to give me some more kisses as compensation.”
Red-faced, Song Ran gave him two kisses.
The current partner had a scornful expression on his face. “As the current partner, can’t I rightfully do as I please and have as many kisses as I want?”
Red-faced, Song Ran peppered him with kisses.
The former partner reached for a mile after being given an inch. “From the time I became your former partner, you’ve belonged to someone else, so I can never kiss you again. Come, give all of your remaining lifetime’s worth of kisses to your beloved former partner.”
Song Ran wiggled his ass in embarrassment. “Exactly how many more kisses do you want before you’re willing to stick it in?”
Mr He smiled evilly. “Don’t be hasty, there are still so many accounts left that need to be settled between the former and current partners.”
Song Ran wanted to cry. “How can you be so narrow-minded! I was wrong, isn’t it fine if I admit I was wrong? Hurry up and stick it in…”
[Mini Theatre #3] The Superheroes Who Wipe Out Evil
Bubu was both young and timid, so he was greatly afraid of thunder.
That night, rain came down in torrents, accompanied by flashing lightning and rumbling thunder. As he held Bu Doudou in his arms, he was frightened out of his wits, so he ran barefoot to the neighbouring room to look for Dad and Big Brother, but found that the door was locked.
He knocked once, but the door didn’t open.
He knocked once more, but the door still didn’t open.
When he knocked for the twentieth time, the door slowly opened at last.
His dad looked down at him, wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist; his skin was damp with sweat, and the expression on his face was somewhat unhappy. Big Brother was wrapped up in the duvet, his neck and ears red. Trembling and panting for breath, he asked, “Bubu, what’s the matter?”
Bubu crawled up onto the bed and squirmed his way into Big Brother’s hot embrace, saying, “There’s thunder, so I’m really scared. I want Big Brother to sleep with me.”
His dad sighed, then turned around and went into the bathroom.
Big Brother forced out an affirmative answer, but he looked like he was about to cry.
While hugging Big Brother, Bubu slept very well. In the latter half of the night, a clap of thunder jolted him awake. He sat bolt upright and discovered that he was the bed’s only occupant again.
This time, it was the door to the home theatre across from his room that was locked.
Once again, he ran over and knocked persistently.
Thump thump thump, thump thump thump.
“Dad, Big Brother, are you in there?”
After knocking thirty times in a row, the door opened at last. Dad came out holding a limp Big Brother in his arms and put the younger man on the bed in the master bedroom, then reached out to rub Bubu’s head and called him out of the room for a heart-to-heart conversation.
Indeed, if they continued without setting up rules properly, not only would Song Ran be mentally scarred, his own sexual performance would also be affected.
As a result, Bubu learned a new piece of knowledge that night: when Dad and Big Brother locked the door, it meant they had turned into superheroes and were wiping out the forces of evil that existed in this world. Even if the building collapsed, he would have to wait for it to finish collapsing before knocking on the door.
Mm, they looked very great.
Bubu was deeply proud of them!
[Mini Theatre #4] Every Drop of Milk is Mine
When other bottoms were brought to climax, their eyes would water as they said hungrily and inarticulately, “I’m begging you… come inside me…”
On the other hand, when Song Ran was brought to climax, he would securely wrap his legs around Mr He’s waist and say through gritted teeth, “Give all of it to me, come deep inside, don’t give even a drop to them! No, don’t even give a single sperm cell to them!”
Mr He hurriedly said, “Darling, calm down a bit. It’s all yours, it’s all yours.”
So Song Ran, with his ass filled with white liquid, contentedly went to sleep…
[Mini Theatre #5] The Perverted Old Man Grows Eight-Pack Abs
After they had finished eating wontons one night, Song Ran lay listlessly in the bathtub, his body covered with red marks. “There’s something I’ve been mulling over for a long time, and I want you to answer me.”
Mr He picked up a bottle of bath foam. “What thing?”
As he spoke, he scooped up a handful of body wash foam and smeared it evenly on Song Ran’s thigh.
Song Ran turned sideways and gently leaned against his shoulder. “Tell me honestly, were you actually bent by me, or were you already bent in the first place?”
Mr He smiled. “Is there a difference?”
“There is,” Song Ran complained. “You became bent so quickly that I don’t feel any sense of accomplishment.”
Mr He rubbed Song Ran’s hair with a bubble-covered hand. “How should I put it? I really don’t care about being straight or bent. If you were a girl, I’d apply the Cartesian coordinate system, and if you were a boy, I’d apply the curvilinear coordinate system.”
Song Ran bit him. “Speak human language.”
“I guess it would be considered as being bent by you. Are you satisfied now?” Mr He gave him a pat on his pert ass. “You don’t know how cute you were when you stammered over the phone.”
Song Ran muttered, “Perverted old man, the points you find cute are too strange.”
He Zhiyuan lifted Song Ran’s chin. “Say that again?!”
Song Ran’s face lit up with a smile. “Perverted old man… Ack, ack, ack, ack!”
The handsome perverted old man gave Song Ran’s ass a hard pinch, leaving behind a red mark and making him cry out while clinging to the bathtub.
After washing, they got back into bed.
Song Ran, straddling Mr He’s waist, instructed, “Breathe in!”
So Mr He breathed in and tensed up his ab muscles at the same time, revealing clean and beautiful lines.
Song Ran reached out and touched them enviously, his saliva flowing. “You’ve taken me with you to work out for some time now, so how come I don’t have such good-looking abs?”
“Don’t worry,” Mr He said, soothing him. “To get an eight-pack, at most half of it is from working out, while the other half is from diet. Your protein and carbohydrate intake are a bit off, so you’ll need to adjust your nutrition ratios. It’ll be fine in a few more months.”
The muscles in front of Song Ran’s eyes, both solid and powerful, were unbearably attractive. As Song Ran looked at them, he couldn’t resist lowering his head to kiss them.
“I want them so much.”
Pillowed against the base of Mr He’s leg, he stared at those ab muscles while poking and pressing on them a few times, then let out a long sigh.
Mr He’s eyes darkened. “Since you’ve already kissed your way to that spot, how about… going a bit further down?”
Song Ran turned red. “The shop is c-c-closed for business today.”
Mr He pushed himself up into a sitting position, then pulled Song Ran into his arms and held him down before cajoling him with a hint of a childishly demanding demeanour. “I’m already a regular. Based on how I’ve eaten here so often before, won’t you give me another hour? I’ve worked on my waist strength recently, so I guarantee it’ll be equally as good as the other time just now.”
Song Ran turned his head away, feeling embarrassed. “How is it even more difficult to keep you happy than Bubu…”
Mr He smiled. “It’s not difficult to keep me happy, it’ll be fine once you let me eat my fill.”
“Eat your fill?!” Song Ran hit him hard with a fist. “When have you ever eaten your fill before?”
Holding back a smile, Mr He promised, “I’m already eighty percent full today, so I only need one last meal. I swear that it’ll absolutely be the last one.”
Song Ran had no choice but to accept his fate. Turning repressed resentment into lust, he dug out the lube and condoms from beneath the pillow and threw them at Mr He, then clung to his neck with both hands. “You may be full, but I’m not full yet. Try… a little harder, don’t let me go hungry.”
“All right, I definitely won’t let you go hungry.”
Mr He leaned down and planted a light kiss at the base of Song Ran’s ear.
[Mini Theatre #6] Little Chef Song Ran Gains Two Pounds
Song Ran had a strong obsession with abs. In the past two months, he had been sweating profusely at the gym every day for ninety minutes at a time. Mr He was afraid that his pale little chef would catch the eye of some other wolf and be carried off, which would render him unable to eat wontons in the future, so he offered to work out with Song Ran of his own accord.
Song Ran refused the offer without even thinking. “Everyone is working on their abs, so don’t meddle. Just maintain your current condition and give me a chance to catch up, thank you.”
But in secret, Song Ran came up with a crafty little idea. He came up with set meals that were high in calories, fat, and carbs in an attempt to fatten up Mr He. But somehow Mr He’s gaze was keen; after unluckily falling for it the first time, he noticed a hint from Song Ran’s ill-intentioned hospitable smile the second time and did everything possible, from coaxing to trickery, to make Song Ran eat it instead.
Song Ran’s plan failed. Having jumped into the pit that he himself dug, he gained two pounds in ten days and stamped his feet in bitter remorse. He had no choice but to launch a month-long diet plan: he would make a normal dinner for Bubu and Mr He first, then make red cabbage salad seasoned with vinaigrette for himself afterwards.
Seeing Song Ran act this way, Mr He solemnly put down his bowl and chopsticks and went into the kitchen. Five minutes later, he came back out with a spatula in hand and tossed a golden fried egg and a cut of fried chicken breast onto Song Ran’s plate. “I can afford to support you. If you want to gain muscle, then just do it. There’s no need to starve yourself to death.”
Blushing, Song Ran finished eating the salad. Before he could sneak away, he was caught and made to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with Bubu for a session of Teacher He’s fitness and nutrition class.
Bubu curled up his little arm and flexed his bicep that was completely imperceptible, calling out proudly, “Bubu is Hercules!”
Song Ran immediately began to applaud in admiration. “Bubu is so strong!”
Mr He loudly coughed twice. Song Ran felt a chill at the back of his neck and reflexively turned around, a broad smile on his face. “I’ll eat properly, I’ll eat properly from now on!”
[Mini Theatre #7] Mr He’s Big Mushroom
One summer night, Song Ran came home from the gym all covered in sweat. He thoughtlessly greeted the father and son who were reading fairy tales while sitting on the sofa, then ran into the master bedroom, took off his tight-fitting singlet, and began to take a cool shower.
Twenty minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom damp and wrapped in a towel. Mr He was already sitting against the head of the bed and reading on his Kindle.
“Today was productive!” He pinched his abs that were gradually firming up, then threw himself onto the big bed and reached out with a wandering hand to pull away the belt from Mr He’s nightgown. “Quick, let me observe the excellent example again!”
Mr He stayed stock-still, not even blinking as he allowed the other party to lie belly-down next to him. With his feet in the air and ass sticking up, Song Ran attentively examined the enviable eight-pack abs.
After observing for a while, Song Ran said guiltily, “I’m only a little lacking compared to you.”
Just a little.
Mr He smiled. “Yes, a little.”
His tone of voice was actually very doting and without any mockery; in truth, he also knew how much effort Song Ran had put in over the past two months. However, Song Ran was particularly sensitive due to the words ‘a little lacking’, so he gave Mr He a fierce pinch on his waist. “Only you’re so great! You’re not allowed to show off, you hear me?”
Mr He smiled and moved his waist. “I wouldn’t dare.”
Unable to compare, Song Ran narrow-mindedly launched a snarky attack on Mr He’s abs.
“Doesn’t this resemble a vegetable garden?” He gestured to either side with his hands. “Look, they’re all so neat and tidy that they really look like a ploughed field.”
Mr He showed half of his face from behind his Kindle and sighed helplessly. “I really admire your imagination.”
Song Ran accepted the ‘praise’ with a smile. “You flatter me.”
So Mr He put the Kindle down next to the pillow, then lowered his head to look at Song Ran. As he rubbed the younger man’s bath-dampened black hair, he said, “I endured it when you said it was like chopped tofu or waffles, but a vegetable garden… Which part of it exactly is like one? You should cut your hair, it’s getting a bit long.”
Song Ran was supremely dissatisfied with how the power of his imagination had been called into question despite his job as an illustrator of children’s books. With a forceful toss of his head, he tugged on a black hair next to Mr He’s belly button and said teasingly, “Look, there’s clearly even grass growing here, yet you say it’s not a vegetable garden.”
Mr He felt a twinge of pain from his lower abdomen that was soon followed by a burst of heat. His burning blood swiftly flowed downwards and accumulated in a certain location, rousing the sleeping titan in his underwear.
His reaction was frighteningly swift.
The intensity of the sexual attraction between lovers could always be shown by the speed, hardness, and persistence of the erection.
Song Ran, having provoked Mr He with a single sentence, was filled with pride. Inwardly, he had already become stirred up, but his facial expression betrayed no hint of his feelings. His eyes were still innocent and pure, and it was only his fingers that discontentedly followed the hair downwards before delving beneath the underwear hem. His touch went deeper and deeper until he finally grasped the burning-hot thing.
“What… is this?”
He asked despite knowing the answer already, slowly stroking upwards as he held the shaft.
With dry lips and parched tongue, Mr He swallowed. “A newly-grown… mushroom.”
Song Ran’s eyes curved as he smiled and replied, “How strange. It’s not a vegetable garden, so how could such a large mushroom grow here?”
Suffering from the urgent need to release his lust, Mr He could only surrender to Song Ran’s fanciful talk. He no longer attempted to redeem the image of his abs, but rather grabbed the younger man’s slim waist and pushed him against the head of the bed before fiercely kissing him. “It’s a vegetable garden… No, it’s whatever you say it is.”
That night, Mr He’s vegetable garden was showered with spring rains, leaving wet droplets everywhere. There used to be a large mushroom growing next to the vegetable garden, but it had been discovered and plucked by the satisfied mushroom-loving Song Ran.
But it was all right.
Because this vegetable garden of Mr He’s had an abundance of mushrooms. From now on, many more big mushrooms would grow here and feed Song Ran, whose own vegetable garden hadn’t yet been ploughed, until he was full.