Chapter 38.2

T/N: Yeah… if only trauma was so easy to fix. Oh well, this is just fiction so there’s no need to think too hard about it!

Editor: Mimishijie


Song Ran heard a light cracking sound; the protective shell named ‘steadfastness’ that plated his heart had split open. A young boy stuck out his head and timidly walked over, timidly took over his consciousness, and timidly hugged He Zhiyuan, sobbing as he called out, “Dad.”


This sound was very soft, but He Zhiyuan heard it clearly.

There was no way his heart would not ache.

“Darling, it’s all right now, Dad is with you.” He tightly held Song Ran and kissed the boiling-hot side of his neck. “Good boy, don’t be afraid. Dad is here, you don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

Someone lifted up the curtain in the teahouse doorway; it was a shop assistant who had come out to check on the situation, wishing to find out what the situation was with the loud sound that nearly shattered the glass earlier. Faced with two men hugging next to the window as soon as he came out, his eyes went wide.

With another look at the one whose face was visible, the shop assistant was dumbfounded. “M-Mr He?”

He Zhiyuan was a regular at this teahouse and often footed the bill via their facial recognition option, so each and every one of the shop assistants knew him.

He signalled ‘don’t disturb’ with his eyes, but it was too late. Startled by this sound, Song Ran unconsciously pushed him away and took a step back in a fluster, fingers gripping his pants seams as he gave a nonplussed look at the shop assistant, his watery eyes red like a rabbit’s.

“I-I’m sorry! Mr He, we’ll give you thirty percent off next time!”

The shop assistant bowed, then hastily turned around and hid inside the teahouse.

Earlier, Song Ran had inexplicably called out ‘Dad’. Now that he had come back to himself, he felt terribly embarrassed by his shamelessness and lowered his head, not daring to look straight at He Zhiyuan at all.

“Song Ran?”

Wanting to hold his hand, He Zhiyuan took a step closer to Song Ran, but the latter swiftly took a step back.

He took another step forward, and Song Ran took another step back.

Behind him was the small bus stop. He had retreated a mere three steps before his back was tragically pressed against the ice-cold glass wall—he had nowhere to go.

He was done for.

Song Ran cast his gaze downward and watched that pair of obviously-expensive leather shoes approach him; at the same time, two ramrod-straight legs that were obviously longer than his entered his line of sight as well. With one hand stuck in a pocket, He Zhiyuan gently tapped Song Ran’s sneakers with the shiny tips of his own shoes and blew a gentle, warm breath against the other’s forehead. “What are you hiding for?”

“I-I’m not hiding.”

He Zhiyuan laughed. “If you’re not hiding, then show me your forehead?”

Song Ran thought for five seconds. Refusing to admit defeat, he had no choice but to brace himself and lift his head.

Strictly speaking, when he flew across the street just now, the progression from running to throwing himself to hugging flowed like water, so he hadn’t had time to carefully look at Mr He’s face at all; only this current moment counted as their first time looking at each other from up close.

Shit, it was the real thing.

He could breathe, could blink, and could waggle his eyebrows—how handsome.

Previously, Song Ran was shocked into a state of confusion even from a distance of more than ten metres. Now that they were separated by a distance of not much more than ten centimetres, all the minute details were apparent. He dumbly looked at He Zhiyuan’s facial features, heart leaping wildly in his chest, and threw his sense of propriety, decorum, and shame into a coal-fired stove; where that shameful ‘Dad’ was thrown was even more of a mystery.

The way he looked after his IQ dropped to zero in a single second was particularly amusing, so it made He Zhiyuan smile.

Hooked on his smile, Song Ran foolishly said, “Can you smile one more time?”

So He Zhiyuan cooperatively smiled one more time.

This time, Song Ran himself didn’t even know what he was doing—he reached out and fisted He Zhiyuan’s necktie, yanked it down, then tilted his head up and kissed the man.

A gentle brush of lips.

Dry, soft, cool, and indescribably comfortable.

After that short second of losing control, it was probably the strange feeling of the kiss that instantly cleared Song Ran’s head. In a fright, he desperately tried to retract his neck, but before their lips completely separated, they were suddenly pressed together even more—He Zhiyuan’s gaze was downcast as he grabbed Song Ran’s hand that was gripping the tie and firmly held it against the wall. Chasing the other’s lips, he leaned down for a kiss.

With that hasty action, the back of Song Ran’s head hit the glass, making a dull thump.

Song Ran’s voluntary action earlier could only be counted as a dragonfly skimming the water’s surface; He Zhiyuan was obviously not satisfied. With an irresistible approach, he pressed Song Ran against the wall and broke through the lips’ gentle line of defence; the tip of his tongue aggressively brushed past the other’s gums to forcibly enter the interior, and then he captured the slick tongue and sucked hard. This plundering approach was too fierce—Song Ran opened his startled eyes wide, but before he could react, his lips had already been so ravaged that their shape changed.


Feeling a bit of pain, he struggled to turn his head to the left, but He Zhiyuan followed him to the left. When he turned to the right, He Zhiyuan doggedly followed him to the right. In the end, He Zhiyuan simply seized his jaw, not allowing him to turn his head.

Right as Song Ran was about to run out of breath, He Zhiyuan stopped. “Close your eyes.”

Song Ran seized the opportunity to take two deep breaths and nervously stared at him.

“Close your eyes.”

He repeated the words once more.

Song Ran’s eyelashes trembled and dropped bit by bit as he slowly closed his eyes.

With eyes closed, people would relax; only then could the kiss be drawn out.

He Zhiyuan began to peck at his lips, taking section by section into his mouth and sucking as if he were sampling a plump and elastic fruit candy. Then he licked the surface of Song Ran’s lips with the tip of his tongue and stickily entangled with the other. It was only when the saliva started to accumulate, causing their kisses to make wet noises, that He Zhiyuan parted the relaxed seam of the other’s lips, entered and delved deep, then curled around the other’s burning-hot and pliable tongue; amidst the engagement, he set free his instinctive roughness that had previously been suppressed.

It was initially one-sided teaching and seduction, but Song Ran soon began to clumsily yet diligently respond to him.

The smallest spark could start a conflagration.

As if they were fighting, they kissed to the point where they couldn’t catch their breaths. When it got particularly intense, teeth clacked against teeth and nose bumped against nose; neither person could take the leading role, so they could only hurriedly chase after each other.

The occasional breeze would blow past, dislodging two or three wisteria flowers and making them drift onto their cheeks, which caused a slight itchiness.

But compared to the itchiness that permeated their entire bodies, that was not worth mentioning at all.

Once their long exchange had finally come to a stop, both of them were hard.

Their lower halves were tightly pressed together the entire time they were kissing, so there already wasn’t much room to begin with, and they also needed to accommodate two gradually-stirring things. As a result, the more they kissed, the more painful it was. These two unyielding things were uncontrollable; chafing, exchanging blows, and competing for territory, they itched to spring out of their pants and go at it for real.

Although they wanted to do it, unfortunately between the right time, the right place, and the right people, they only met one of the criteria—and in any case, committing acts of indecency on the streets was definitely against the law. The two of them had no choice but to hide beneath the cascades of wisteria flowers, gasping for breath while they looked at each other with tender affection and quietly waited for the lively members in their pants to calm down.

Song Ran’s lips were kiss-swollen. He forcefully scrubbed at the corners of his lips with the back of his hand and complained, “We still need to pick up Bubu later, isn’t it disgraceful to become like this?”

He Zhiyuan smiled. “Who rushed up and provoked the other first, do you not remember?”

“Who… who’d remember that?”

Song Ran replied, embarrassed, and guiltily looked away.

He Zhiyuan touched his waist and gave him a pinch. “How about we do it one more time to help you recover your memory?”

“Don’t, I still haven’t gone soft yet!” Song Ran hopped up and dodged with a twist of his waist, then yanked away his wandering hand. “Talk about something else! Talk about something else, the sort of thing that’s positive, healthy, and not stimulating, so it’ll go soft quicker.”

“All right.” He Zhiyuan affectionately looked at him and laughed, then changed the topic. “When I got off the bus earlier, where did you count to?”

Song Ran thought for a while. “Thirty-six.”

He Zhiyuan said, “Not bad, it’s quite a good number.”

Song Ran was thinking about asking ‘how bored are you, for you to use even this to forcibly sustain the conversation?’ when he watched He Zhiyuan reach out with his slightly-bent right index finger and gently swipe it across the tip of his nose. “Darling, in the future, if you can’t resist the urge and still want to count, do you know where you should stop?”

Slightly stunned, Song Ran made a surprised sound. “Th… thirty-six.”

“That’s right, thirty-six.” He Zhiyuan nodded and looked deeply into his eyes. “Because when you count to thirty-six, Dad will come pick you up.”

Song Ran gave He Zhiyuan a stupefied look, not blinking at all.

In an instant, it seemed like the clouds had parted to reveal the sun. On that long road with no end in sight, someone had stuck a signpost with ‘the end’ written on it—he had received a precise upper bound. It was a dam that would be indestructible when the floodwaters came, blocking the towering turbulent waves and protecting him from being engulfed by the rushing currents.

This number that he himself had recited could save him.

Song Ran bit his lip, almost unable to refrain from crying again—all of it was on purpose. Mr He’s willingness to show himself only after forcing Song Ran to start counting from one was to give him a valuable number.

Holding back his tears with all the strength in his body, he swiped at the rims of his eyes with the back of a hand and fiercely dug his elbow into He Zhiyuan’s chest as he scolded, “What do you mean ‘Dad’ will come pick me up? You’re harassing me again!”

“Okay, okay, okay, I was wrong, I won’t harass you.” He Zhiyuan laughed lowly, then leaned close to his ear and whispered, “No matter what you call me—dad is fine, hubby is also fine—you’ll always be my darling.”


Currently translating Pastel Colours. Please do not repost or retranslate my work.

If you find any errors (E.g. spelling, inconsistent terms, broken links, etc.) , please let us know through our discord channel

Support Dummy

Your donations will help fund a part of the site's costs and management. You can find individual translators' ko-fi under each chapter^^

Join our discord channel

14 thoughts on “Chapter 38.2”

    • Hey, I just wanna say that while I completely understand where you’re coming from (the daddy kink portions of this novel really aren’t my cup of tea either) it’s still pretty disheartening to receive this kind of feedback, so please consider whether it’s truly necessary to leave such comments in the future before hitting that ‘post’ button. Thank you!

      • I admit it’s a little strange but I’ve read much weirder stuff. Please keep up the good work I look forward to more of this every week 😀

  1. Agree! If only trauma was that easy…
    But, wow, first kiss was done so well!!! Feeling quite sorry for them (I’m all for public indecency at night in deserted places, but unfortunately it was not the case, the nerve!!!) and at the same time hoping there will be some action in the next chapters where they can go on XD!
    Thanks for the chapter!!

  2. The daddy kink was so unexpected but I honestly don’t care about it. Anyway, I love their first kiss scene! It was so sweet and refreshing to read! Thank you so much for translating this wonderful chapter💕

  3. In real life, I think that if a partner goes to the extent of recreating the circumstances of previous trauma, irrespective of the reason, it can considered psychological abuse, or an indicator that the relationship may turn abusive. I don’t believe modern psychology / psychiatry relies on such abrupt shocks either, lol.
    Nevertheless, thank you for the chapter. I’ve enjoyed this series and I probably will continue to do so… Thanks for the disclaimers and the chapter!

    • I appreciate your thoughtful feedback! I agree that this is definitely a very unrealistic way to resolve the plot point of Song Ran’s trauma and NOT something that anyone should try to mimic in real life, but as long as readers understand and remember that this is a work of fiction, it’s probably (at least in my opinion) not worth worrying about too much. Thanks for following my translation of this story up to now… We’re almost at the finish line, so I hope you continue to enjoy it to the end!

  4. So cuteee♥️♥️♥️ although the trauma part is unrealistic, at least the author does not imply that SR’s OCD is “cured”. Anyways, this is a fiction and it is given that writers will take creative liberties whilst writing. In regards to the daddy kink, *ehem*. It’s good 😏. Just put a daddy kink tag and warning at the NU page or at the summary of the novel so that people who don’t like it can be warned beforehand. We won’t like people hating on the novel just because of the daddy kink part 😊. Thank you translator-sama for the chapter♥️♥️♥️

  5. While I absolutely love this novel, I kept having to tell myself it’s just fiction so I can get past the whole trauma issue, but other than that…. great chapter. Amazing first kiss, daddy kink low key expected, and I’m a total sucker for pda, just so long as it’s not going *too* far. Can’t wait for the -ahem- action scenes. At home where they should be.

  6. I witnessed the birth of a daddy kink, eh? lol I don’t care about it.
    And I already gave my two cents about the trauma and can just say – all hail the fiction (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*✲゚*。⋆

    *lights a candle for the teahouse worker*

    Thx for the ch ٩( >ヮ<)۶

  7. Hello hello!!! I binged read all the chapters and I just want to say that thank you so so so much!!!!! For sharing this story between SR and HZY…. And little Bubu ofcourse. I’m just really grateful since I love this story to bits!!! Thannk you so much!!

  8. That teahouse Lady… Couldn’t she read the mood?
    All things considered, that was such a great first Kiss!!!! Papa He didn’t restrain himself!!

    Thanks for the chapter!

  9. It’s the first time I’m commenting and I want to start off by thanking the translator because this is a beautiful translation and a super enjoyable and poetic story!

    About the OCD, I want to bring up two points, one good and one bad. Also, I think this section while not totally accurate did it’s job as a symbolic really well!

    1. The good point:
    OCD is actually often dealt with by using cognitive-behavioural therapy and more precisely a technic called Exposure Response Prevention. Basically, the patient is invited to be exposed to their fear through this method. The cognitive part of the therapy is them learning to readapt their way of thinking about this fear (in this example, rather than waiting for his dad to come back without ever knowing when, he is invited to think of it differently like he doesn’t have to wait for his dad when he counts but ML -it’s a thinking pattern with its own flaws but it’s for the sake of the symbolics I’d guess-). The behavioural aspect is basically adapting your behaviour according to this new way of thinking and just making it healthier (in this example, rather than count aimlessly and fear that “never-ending” ness, he has a limit to the counting “36” and the number was even complemented, giving it a positive touch).

    Patients with OCD, PTSD, or any other psychological abnormalities (as they are referenced to be scientifically) have extremely diverse ways of being impacted by an showing their symptoms. Some can feel better and almost revert to a normal state right from the first few therapy sessions and here MC isn’t said to be cured, he’s just feeling the same initial relief from finally having support and taking a new step/having a broad new hopeful perspective. Either way, time of recovery is hardly something that can be more or less accurate.

    2: The bad point.
    Actually there are two haha
    The first one is that therapy is only therapy if there’s a professional, aka a therapist. The ML is obviously not one and so is as qualified to do this as your mom when she tries to play the doctor’s role. It can either work, not work, or go terribly wrong. That’s why it’s extremely important to do risky therapies like these with a professional.
    The second thing is one that could have trickled down from the previous point: there was no psychological preparation and MC was pushed beyond his limit. Thankfully it ended well, but in exposure therapies the patient always always has the right to say “no this is too much for me” and then the therapist has to help find another step to add in between the two others (for example, if you’re scared of dogs and touching a dog is too much, the therapist would add an in between step like using a baseball glove). If these precautions aren’t taken, it can not only lead to the patient’s issues to deepen, but also they might feel a loss of control over what they can deem to themselves too much (which is toxic to their own safety).

    Also quick note, I am not a psychology expert haha I’m a college student who just concluded her Abnormal Psychology course about literally this topic, so it was interesting to read this two previous chapters.
    I was actually scared of reading the comments because I knew that this would feel very off and wrong to many, but to be honest it wasn’t so bad in terms of technicalities, but ethically it really was wrong.

    However the issues that I brought up did really help with the symbolic and that is the whole point of a fictional story. At least it’s not perpetuating a stereotype.

    Anyways, once again, thank you so much translator!


Leave a Comment