It was clear that this was a big deal.
The director was furious, the news was blocked, Feng Yeran was suspended, and Feng Hua continued to be imprisoned.
It didn’t matter to Feng Yeran. He returned to his home after a few days of recuperation in the hospital.
With nothing to do, he stayed in bed almost all the time, sleeping and dreaming a lot.
He often dreamed of Feng Hua as a child, napping against his body.
He also dreamed many shameful dreams. He dreamed that he took the initiative to kiss Feng Hua and embraced him in different ways.
He dreamed that Feng Hua was covering his body, burying his head and kissing him frantically, but when he opened his eyes, he found that Feng Hua had become a terrifying monster, and it was strangling him in the vast sea of blood, its eyes red…
With the nightmares becoming more and more frequent, he began to dread sleep. The dark circles under his eyes became heavier and heavier. However, the more he dreaded something, the more frequently it would appear.
One night in September, tormented by nightmares and unable to sleep, he got up and opened the wardrobe, wanting to put on a coat.
However, as soon as he opened the wardrobe, he was scared to death.
What was hanging inside wasn’t clothes at all, but charred bodies!
He ran out of his home in his slippers and pyjamas like a madman, not caring what anyone saw as he darted down the street and rushed into the crowd. At that moment, only the crowd could make him feel safe.
He inadvertently walked to a stop and saw a bus full of people, so he walked on.
He sat in the back seat and looked around at the women, little girls, middle-aged men and old grandfathers… He gradually calmed down and began to doubt whether he had just hallucinated due to his recurring nightmares and wondered whether he should see a psychiatrist.
His stomach began to ache again. He frowned and covered his stomach.
Gradually, he fell into sleep. The bus went and stopped, rocking and swaying, and he fell asleep intermittently.
Some time later, it began to rain outside, pattering.
There were fewer and fewer people on the bus. Feng Yeran woke up to find a warm coat draped over his body.
He saw a reflection on the window and froze for a moment, then sighed.
He really was too tired already, too tired to be afraid.
“How are you here?”
“I’ve been following you, Ye’er.”
“Is this your body, or a doppelganger?”
“Doppelganger. I only have twenty minutes. But it doesn’t matter. There’ll be another ‘me’ to protect you after ‘I’ disappear.”
“Is that so.”
“It’s so late. Are you going anywhere?”
“You haven’t come to see me for a long time. Ye’er, I miss you so much.”
Feng Yeran lowered his eyes in silence for a moment before saying, “Feng Hua, answer me seriously. What will it take to end it?”
“End your brutality, your killing. I really want… to treat you well. But, I keep getting scared by you again and again. I’m getting old and really can’t take it any longer. What will it take to end our current situation? I’m too tired, really…”
“Unless you love me,” Feng Hua whispered.
The rain drizzled diagonally, dripping as it slid down the bus.
The bus drove on for a while longer before Feng Hua spoke again, a light laugh in his voice, “Or, kill me.”
“You created me, and you’re entitled to kill me.” Feng Hua observed the umbrella in his hand, gently squeezing its slightly cool edges. “It’s a kind of pleasure to be killed by you with your own hands.”
The bus stopped and it rained even harder, crashing down. Pedestrians ran through the rain and cars sped past.
Feng Yeran stood up and faced Feng Hua.
Feng Hua was looking out the hazy window. Under his long eyelashes, his eyes were a pale blue, a desireless blue.
“I choose the first one.”
Feng Hua turned his head to look at him. “What?”
Feng Yeran said loudly, “I choose the first one. Feng Hua, I choose to love you!”
The umbrella in Feng Hua’s hand fell to the ground and rolled to the corner.
He laughed. “Don’t joke, Ye’er. How could you possibly love me? You’ll never love me, will you—”
Before he could finish, he was hugged tightly by Feng Yeran.
Through the thin pyjamas, he heard Feng Yeran’s violently pounding heart.
Thump, thump, thump, thump…
“Do you hear that? My heart is beating so fast because of you… Feng Hua, I love you!”