Chapter 13.1 – Cruelty

Feng Yeran slept heavily and had a very long dream. The dream was fragmentary, he forgot its content again and again, and he was chagrined again and again in it.

When he woke up, he was dazed for nearly a minute, and his ears turned red rapidly. But soon, he became desperate. He scratched his hair and his shoulders trembled slightly. Because he believed that everything last night was just a dream, just like those dreams before, and that his Feng Hua hadn’t woken up at all, and maybe never would.

Almost unconsciously, he put on the headphones, and then, he heard a familiar voice. “Ye’er, good morning.”

Feng Yeran’s eyes widened, staring at the surveillance screen as if he were in a dream. He saw the young man standing under the camera looking up and smiling at him. His black hair was messy and his eyes were bent with a smile.

When Feng Yeran jumped up, the headphones dropped to the floor and he accidentally hit the corner of the table, but he ran towards the electric prison as if he didn’t feel any pain, not closing the door.

Feng Hua was standing under the barred window.

Feng Yeran walked towards him step by step, unexpectedly a little nervous.

Feng Hua was tall and looked seventeen or eighteen years old. He was wearing the white shirt Feng Yeran had left in the electric prison, which was obviously too small, and trousers that were too short. His shirt was unbuttoned. Sunlight trickled in through the window and fragments of light floated around Feng Hua. It seemed as if his pale skin and tight muscles were glowing. His black curls floated slightly, his once large eyes became slender, and his irises were that pure blue again, as blue as the deep sea that could suck in people in an instant.

“Are you an angel?” Feng Yeran asked Feng Hua in front of him with his head tilted up.

“?” Feng Hua showed a puzzled expression.

“I just felt you glowing all over.”

Feng Hua laughed. His laughter was very nice, with a faint magnetic tone.

At that moment, nothing really mattered. Feng Yeran held the child, who was taller than him, tightly in his arms and murmured, “You’re finally awake… finally awake. I thought you’d stay asleep.”

At least five or six minutes passed before Feng Yeran let go of Feng Hua. It was also then that he remembered last night’s dream again. He scratched his head awkwardly and asked, “Feng Hua, when did you wake up?”

“Last night.”

“Did you… get out of the electric prison last night?”

“You weren’t dreaming.”

“What?” Feng Yeran refused to accept reality.

Feng Hua stared at Feng Yeran’s lips and whispered with a smile, “Say, your lips… are a little red and swollen.”

He wanted to get angry but was afraid of hurting Feng Hua who’d just woken up, wanted to deny it but couldn’t deny it, and wanted to leave immediately but couldn’t. Feng Yeran was so embarrassed it was indescribable. He couldn’t explain, couldn’t run away, couldn’t get angry, and didn’t know if he was being suffocated. Feng Yeran’s body trembled slightly, and then his ears and nape were all red. It was laughable.

* * *

After Feng Hua woke up, Feng Yeran begged the director again and again and made many assurances before he could bring Feng Hua home. Now, he really wasn’t at ease letting Feng Hua stay in his former small room, afraid that it’d arouse his bad memories and stimulate him again.

At the same time, he was also applying for a better place for Feng Hua to live. Maybe, he could live in the small compound a kilometre or two away from the research institute in the future. It used to be an office and would be a good place to live in if it was cleaned up, with a large area, a small garden around it, and a park nearby. Anyway, Feng Yeran wanted to get him as much freedom and better living conditions as possible. Of course, there must still be difficulties; after all, Feng Hua had just made a scene.

But Feng Hua didn’t seem to mind at all. He was very obedient and did whatever Feng Yeran asked him to do. When Feng Yeran didn’t ask him to do anything, he would just sit and stare at Feng Yeran. However, he’d just woken up and obviously lacked physical strength. Just after lunch, he fell asleep on the soft sofa.

Feng Yeran covered him with the blanket and drew the curtains. After he was done with everything, he finally settled down and thought about the thorny problems.

He looked at the big boy curled up under the blanket and frowned.

If only my love for you is the kind of love you want.

He was suddenly taken aback by his own idea, and then he thought of Chen Xuan again. Chen Xuan had been constantly calling and messaging him during this period, but before Feng Hua woke up, he had no desire to do anything else.

He had once passionately loved Chen Xuan, and now he was still craving for her love. But, was this really right? She hadn’t divorced Feng Boran. Was he willing to be the other man for her?

He thought for a moment, let out a sigh, and sent a text message to Chen Xuan to meet in a coffee shop that evening.

The two people, dressed up in disguise, chatted in the warm coffee shop. Chen Xuan said at least three times: Yeran, you’ve lost weight. Four times: Yeran, are you okay? Five times: Why aren’t you looking at me?

For the first time, Feng Yeran was so cold in front of her, leaving her a little bewildered.

After they finished their coffee, the two of them walked on the road. The street lights came on one after another, and night fell.

Feng Yeran finally said, “Xiao Xuan, I’ve always liked you very much. But, let’s not see each other again from now on.”

“What?!” Chen Xuan couldn’t believe it. “Why?? What happened??”

“You almost died this time.”

“That was an accident! Feng Hua will accept me later!”

“We even have to sneak around to see each other.”

“There’s no other way, Yeran…”

“It’s not that there’s no other way! And that’s not the point…”

“What’s the point?! Isn’t the point that I love you? You love me too! Yeran! Don’t you scare me!”

Feng Yeran gazed into Chen Xuan’s eyes with some gloom. “You say you love me, then can you divorce Feng Boran?”


“You can’t, right. Then what’s the point of me being with you like this? I don’t want to be a spare tire again.”

With that, he walked forward on his own, the cold wind howling.

“I was the one who was wrong in high school!! But now, you’re really the one I love! You’re not a spare tire!”

Chen Xuan yelled out behind him without regard to her image, then ran up and hugged Feng Yeran’s back tightly.

Feng Yeran was startled. “Are you crazy? What if we’re found out??”

“There’s no one else here but us two!”

Tears slid down Chen Xuan’s face. “Feng Yeran! Please don’t leave me! I only have you! Do you think I’ve been happy since I got married to Feng Boran? He’s hardly ever home now, always socialising socialising socialising every day! He doesn’t want to see me at all! Even when he comes home, he doesn’t care whether I live or die… Our marriage has long since existed in name only… That’s right… I was always reluctant to divorce him because I always thought he’d look back at me… But I was wrong… I should’ve divorced! Should’ve divorced!”

Chen Xuan broke down in tears.

Feng Yeran’s heart throbbed with pain. Finally unable to bear it, he turned around and hugged Chen Xuan in his arms. “Okay, okay, don’t cry. I won’t force you.”

When he went back in the afternoon, his face was pale, there was a thick blackness under his eyes, and his stomach was throbbing with pain. He had gotten a bit used to not having Feng Hua treat him during this period.

As soon as he walked through the door, someone swept him into his arms. Before he could react, he was picked up by the waist and placed on the soft sofa. Feng Hua gently helped him take off his coat and remove his shoes. Then, he pressed his warm palm on his stomach.

Feng Yeran smiled. “You know I have a stomachache.”


“How do you know?”

“I can hear it.”

“How do you hear it?”

Feng Yeran just smiled and didn’t say anything.

His stomach warmed, his pain gradually eased, his worries returned, and he gradually frowned.

“What’s wrong? Not happy?” Feng Hua asked.

“Xiao Xuan—” Just as he said the name, Feng Yeran stopped talking. He knew he shouldn’t mention this name in front of Feng Hua. His stomach ached some more.

Feng Hua hugged him from behind and covered his stomach with his palm. Bursts of warmth rushed into his body, making Feng Yeran close his eyes in comfort. Seemingly inadvertently, Feng Hua whispered in his ear, “Ye’er, you can love her.”

Feng Yeran opened his eyes in surprise.

“As long as you don’t leave me, stay by my side like this once in a while, and give me a reward once in a while when I make you happy, it doesn’t matter even if you don’t love me. You can love her.”

“…Feng Hua.”

“Why are you crying again?”

“Feng Hua, can’t you just give up on me and like someone else?”


“Silly child, people are changeable.”

“I’m not human.”

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2 thoughts on “Chapter 13.1 – Cruelty”

  1. Only Feng Hua can give the last answer. Love it. Though I don’t believe his, ‘Ye’ Er, you can like her’.
    As if.
    Thanks for the chapter!

    • This is clearly a case of ‘loosening the reins only to grab it tighter.’ There’s no way feng hua is really okay with this. He’s only plotting something more drastic.


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