Chapter 12 – Spell

October 30th

It’s very painful and even more serious. I actually fainted for a day. Whenever I got sick in the past, I didn’t have to worry at all because of Feng Hua. Why am I always like this? Xiao Zhijie came to see me. I don’t know when he’ll regain his human form, or if he just doesn’t want to regain it, refusing to come out and see me.

What am I supposed to do? The doctor forced me to be hospitalised. I only got out thanks to Xiao Zhijie’s help. I had to see him every day and talk to him every day. I cleaned up his little room, talked to him every day, and waited for him in that little room. No, I won’t keep him locked up every day in the future, even if the president doesn’t allow it…

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I need a psychiatrist.

October 31st

I had an infusion all day and went to see him at night. I watched the monitor for four whole hours, but there was no movement.

November 2nd

The media outside is in an uproar. They sense that something’s wrong. There will come a day when the truth can no longer be covered. My colleagues are restless, fearing that we’ve lost the only trump card we have at present.

I’m afraid of losing him, very afraid!

I’ve been so stupid all this time. I’ve had so much that I’ve started to ask for more, forgetting about him, who’s always been by my side. I dream of him every day these days. I seem to dream of him as soon as I close my eyes. In my dreams, he stays far away from me, doesn’t look at me, doesn’t speak to me. I can hardly remember the way he used to cling to me and smile at me! Ah, my Feng Hua, what am I supposed to do?

November 3rd

But I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Maybe he really won’t wake up this time.

November 4th

Feng Hua, what’s the matter with you? You don’t move, don’t eat or drink, and you’re cold and hard. It’s like you’re dead. Feng Hua, I was really wrong. I was wrong. I’ve said it so many times and you can’t hear me. What am I supposed to do?

November 5th

What exactly do you need me to do? Anything you want is fine… Wake up soon!

* * *

Feng Hua opened his eyes. He was in a familiar little room, alone.

However, this room was a little strange, because almost everything was upturned, with all that could be destroyed having been destroyed. It was just like a disaster scene.

In the centre of the shattered coffee table were photos Sean had left behind. Feng Hua picked up a stack and looked at them a little. Ah, it was her and him, again. He stood up, barefoot on the floor, and walked slowly forward. With each step forward, he threw away a few photos. The photos followed the wind that rushed through the barred window, sliding behind him, swirling down, and then burning instantly, like a firebird spreading its wings.

He felt bursts of pain, sharp pain, on the soles of his feet. He looked back to find that the floor was covered with shattered porcelain pieces scattered all over. His feet were bleeding and the blood stained the white carpet, mixing with the residual blood from before, bit by bit, piece by piece, like red lotuses blooming on the snow.

He unexpectedly felt a surge of pleasure, and he smiled.

Smiling, he went to the barred window and looked out.

Amidst those bright red maple leaves, he saw the young red-haired man, Sean, again. Sean was waving cheerfully to him from below. “Feng Hua, come down, it’s fun outside!” Like a child.


Feng Hua looked at his anklets and bracelets, as well as the iron railings. How can I go down and play with you like this?

Feng Hua ignored him. He sat on the windowsill and had a rest. He seemed to have forgotten something, and he had to think about it.

He fell asleep and was then awakened by a knock on the door.


The door was opened, and a chubby and robust woman in her forties or fifties walked in. Her black hair was in a bun, her skin was white, her outline was well-defined, and her demeanour was stern and competent. “My name is Qin Xihe, and I’m your psychiatrist.”

“Ah, already hired a psychiatrist for me.” Feng Hua smiled. “Aren’t you afraid of me? I’ve just made a big scene.”

“Not just, it’s already been fifteen days. Child, haven’t you realised you’re in a dream?”

“How did you get into my dream?”

“Hypnosis. It’s easy for me to enter a patient’s dream.”

“Is that so. Then where am I now?”

“You’re locked up in the electric prison.”

“Why did they hire you?”

“Because you’ve been hiding in a cocoon for half a month now, not eating or drinking. They’re worried that you’ll keep yourself in the cocoon forever.”

Feng Hua shook his head. “That’s not right. No one would be worried about me.”

“It’s your creator, Feng Yeran, who hired me. He cares about you, and he needs you very much. He was very anxious when he called me, and even drove to pick me up from the clinic.”

“He’s just worried about his experiment, not me myself.”

Qin Xihe smiled. “So, do you want him to care about you yourself?”


“What do you want, child?”

Feng Hua was silent.

“I can help you get what you want, eh?”

“It’s impossible. I can never get what I want. You don’t have to waste your effort.”

“How do you know you can’t if you haven’t tried? What you want is your creator, Feng Yeran, right!”

Feng Hua’s face was a little twisted. He held back for a moment before suddenly beginning to roar intermittently, his voice getting louder and faster. “It’s him! What I want has always been just him! I’m sick of him being with others, I hate that woman Chen Xuan, I wish I could kill her immediately! I want him! I want to touch him! Want to kiss him! Want to hug him! I like him… like him, like him so much…”

His voice slowed back down, his eyes got redder and redder, and then he began to sob, his voice becoming more and more incoherent. “…But I can’t do that. No matter how much I like him, he only thinks of me as his family… No, I’m just his experiment! I’m important now, but soon I won’t… I’ll be an experiment that he can discard! He won’t love me, ever…”

“Then you should become stronger and stronger until you show him—he can’t do without you!”

Qin Xihe continued with a smile, “And, do you really need his response?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you really like him, just get him by any means necessary. What does it matter if he responds to you or not?”

Feng Hua was in a daze for a long time before he wiped his eyes and suddenly smiled. “Yeah, just get him.”

But, immediately, he was suspicious again. “Are you really a psychiatrist he hired? Why would you give me an idea that’s against Feng Yeran? Shouldn’t you come to convince me to give up on him?”

Qin Xihe put down the notebook in her hand and leaned back on the sofa. “I was indeed hired by him, but my patient is you, and I should be responsible for you—that is, to realise your reasonable wishes and thereby treat you.”

“Is that so. Then what should I do now?”

“First of all, stop hiding in your cocoon. You need to regain your human form.”

“And then what? How do I get him?”

“You can’t be too anxious. You have to take it step by step. I know him. He’s especially slow-burning1慢热 [màn rè] may describe a person who is slow in a relationship. and very obtuse. As for exactly how to do it, I think you should understand it yourself.”

Feng Hua was silent for a moment before sighing. “Ah, I do understand.”

* * *

At 2:30am on November 9th, Feng Yeran was still sitting in the surveillance room staring at the room on the screen. His face was pale, there was a thick blackness under his eyes, his hair was messy and greasy, and there was stubble on his chin. It was obvious he hadn’t cleaned himself up for days. Even Old Zhang had long since been unable to hold on and had gone to sleep in his dormitory. He was still staring at the screen almost paranoidly, talking to the room from time to time. It was as if he was trying to wake Feng Hua up, and as if he was talking to himself.

His stomach grew numb and his consciousness drifted. His eyelids were fighting, but he still held on stubbornly. He seemed to be dreaming awake, or seeing some visions.

He remembered his childhood, remembered the man he had aspired and envisioned to be, his father.

Before he met his father, his mother had often mentioned in his ear his father, a very, very powerful existence who’d brought his mother unimaginable yet transient happiness.

At that time, he and his mother lived in a slum on the third floor underground. Under the roofs that could be broken by a strong wind at any moment, he had prayed every day for the man to come and pick him up. He had come, when he was eight years old. He was a very serious and cold man and rarely smiled. His mother grovelled in front of him, and even once kneeled in the corridor for an entire night.

However, it wasn’t that Feng Yeran’s father couldn’t smile. He liked to smile, especially in front of Feng Boran—in front of his older brother, who was twelve years older than him.

Feng Yeran was willing to do anything to gain his father’s approval. Knowing that Feng Boran was an all-rounder in sports, he forced himself to swim and run, even though he often got injuries all over his legs; knowing that his father liked children with good grades, he secretly studied under the covers till the middle of the night, until he got from the bottom to the first in the class. With his constant efforts, he finally got his father’s occasional recognition. A little praise at the dinner table would make Feng Yeran happy for days. But all that was superficial.

When his father knew about Chen Xuan, he didn’t blame Feng Boran but instead scolded Feng Yeran for his puppy love. When he knew that Feng Yeran had started hanging out in bars, he scolded him for being like his mother, without any sense of shame. When his mother was seriously ill in hospital, he was still busy with his work, and at the moment of her death, he couldn’t even come back to see her one last time. When his father said “sever all relations”, Feng Yeran was in a trance for a moment. Had he ever had any relations with him? His father, today, probably didn’t even know the date of his birthday, what he liked and what he hated, right?

Feng Yeran rubbed his forehead and suddenly frowned.

He was very aware of the pain of being ignored by his most important person.

However, he had indeed ignored Feng Hua. Now, the role he was playing was just like that of his cold father. He was the only one in Feng Hua’s world, but he…

Feng Yeran reproached himself drowsily, thinking back on the past, and tears fell out from time to time, which he wiped away with his sleeve.

Suddenly, the computer made a shrill sound, and then the surveillance camera became fully numb.

With a slight explosion sound, the lights went out, and there was darkness, so dark he couldn’t see his hand in front of him.

Feng Yeran instantly came to his senses. While shouting “Old Zhang, the power’s off”, he opened the door and felt around the corridor for the power source.

Then, in the extremely quiet environment, he heard a rather slight sound of footsteps—the sound of bare feet sticking to the tiles and then lifting up.

Someone was walking towards him barefoot.

“Old Zhang?” Feng Yeran asked as he felt around. “Turn on the power now. I’ve been feeling around for a long time but can’t find where it is.”

Then, he heard a familiar yet strange voice. Ye’er.

The voice wasn’t far from him. It was still cold, but much more mature, with a low magnetic tone.

Feng Yeran’s mind went blank, and he instinctively ran towards the voice. After feeling around for a long time, he finally touched the delicate skin, human skin. He was almost too excited to speak. “Feng Hua!! Feng Hua!!! You’ve finally woken up… God… God!!! You’ve finally changed back!!! God… I thought… thought you’d never wake up again… God, am I dreaming?!”

Feng Yeran’s excited voice was trembling, his nasal tone was very heavy, his eyes and nose were burning, and big drops of tears were falling from his eyes. He eagerly touched Feng Hua’s body in the darkness, his face that was above him, his soft hair, his strong neck, his beautifully-shaped clavicle, his broader shoulders, his arms that contained great strength…

“Feng Hua… you’ve grown up again! Am I really not dreaming? I must be dreaming!”

“You’re not dreaming.” Feng Hua’s voice was low and came from above. He was taller than Feng Yeran already.

A strange fragrance enveloped Feng Yeran.

“How can you prove that I’m not dreaming? I dream of you every day now, and you tell me that I’m not dreaming every time, but I’m dreaming every time… The next time I wake up, you must still be that lump of flesh, and I’ll just be sitting in the surveillance room watching you… You won’t wake up at all because you’re so disappointed in me…”

However, Feng Hua, as if he hadn’t heard him, picked up his face in the darkness and wiped those messy tears for him. “Ye’er, those words you said, do they still count?”

“…What?” Feng Yeran didn’t understand.

“You said you’d give me whatever I want, as long as I wake up.” Feng Hua’s cold thumb slowly slid over Feng Yeran’s lower lip. He whispered in the darkness, “Maybe, if you gave me what I want, I won’t be disappointed.”

Feng Hua’s slightly cool breath gushed in with that dizzying scent.

“It counts! It counts! As long as you wake up! Please wake up!” Feng Yeran shouted, as simple as a child.

He heard a brief chuckle, like a string of chords leaking from a silent record.

Then, the hand holding his cheek suddenly tightened, and something accurately printed on his lips, soft and moist.

Feng Yeran’s eyes were wide, dumbstruck.

As his mind went blank, his lips were tenderly traced by the hot and moist object, not an inch to be spared. Then, his lower lip was suddenly bitten hard―a dull pain, the rusty taste of blood slipping into his mouth.

Pain and reason made Feng Yeran resist, but Feng Hua was too strong for him to resist. He slipped his fingers into Feng Yeran’s hair, fiercely pulling him close, and, pressing his entire body against the wall, he buried his head once again, licking Feng Yeran’s blood almost obsessively, sucking on his lower lip like a baby sucking on milk.

It seemed as if some liquid had been injected into the damaged area as a powerful sensation of anaesthesia rushed through his body. Even in the darkness, Feng Yeran could feel his skin reddening inch after inch, and his ears were boiling hot. There were even some strange voices, like bubbles, eager to come out of his throat but constantly suppressed by reason.

This isn’t right! This isn’t right! Push him away! Get away from him! The Adesir’s control ability is very strong. These strange feelings aren’t from me but imposed by him… Feng Yeran tried to think, tried hard to shout in his mind, Don’t be controlled by him!

But what if he’s disappointed again? What if he really can’t wake up?

As Feng Yeran opened his mouth to gasp for breath, Feng Hua’s tongue immediately intruded into it. Feng Yeran could almost hear the sound of his reason snapping.

It was clearly total darkness, not a thing he could see, but because of the darkness, his senses became extraordinarily clear.

Feng Hua was chasing Feng Yeran’s tongue, sucking the juices in his mouth, occupying his oxygen. The air around them was twisting and shaking in his scent. Feng Yeran’s body was starved of oxygen, suffocating, burning, paralysed. He gasped for breath and slid down the wall, but was once again picked up by Feng Hua and had his lips sealed by him.

Feng Yeran dodged, but no matter how he dodged, Feng Hua was sure to kiss his lips with unerring accuracy in the darkness. Feng Hua kissed him almost greedily and intensively. That shameful sound rang through the air as their gasps rose and fell.

After some time, Feng Hua’s kiss finally became gentle again.

He delicately kissed Feng Yeran, who was already sitting limply on the floor.

The moment their lips parted, Feng Hua whispered “Ye’er” in the darkness, as if saying a spell.

Ye’er, the name he had called out since he was just born.

The name he had been pursuing all his life.

At that moment, he kissed the owner of this name with despair and pity, chanting a spell in joy and pain like a prisoner whose hands and feet were bound. This spell could liberate him or restrain him, and since he had never been able to find the key, it had become an unsolvable spell.

Before he knew it, Feng Yeran had fallen asleep.

In his dream, he heard Feng Hua’s whispers again and again:

“Ye’er… Ye’er… I like you.”

  • 1
    慢热 [màn rè] may describe a person who is slow in a relationship.

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6 thoughts on “Chapter 12 – Spell”

  1. Oh dear.. BABY HUMANS NEED AIR TOO KEYH LOL. The monster boy is really fierce but I’m concerned for the guy..even tho he is a scum at least let the boy “torture” to his own hearts desire., and I see that the MC is rebounding so….REALLY CANT WAIT WHAT HAPPEND NEXT

  2. “He’s just worried about his experiment, not me myself.”

    I love how smart Huahua is, saying nothing but the truth there 👀

    … But he’s still being a little precious thing and it hurts me when he’s hurt :c


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