47 – Xuedi1Junior/underclassman is About to Have the Night of His Dreams
Editors: CYLO, Yin
For the time being, Xu Xiran had no time to feel ashamed of his nonsense.
After all, in front of him and Fang Mo right now, there was a drunkard who was going crazy.
Zou Shun’s emotional state was not looking good. He drank four or five cans of beer in one go, didn’t eat a single bite of food, and the alcohol was going to his head. His pale face had turned red, his big eyes overflowed with tears, and his speech was incoherent.
This alone was not bad enough to give them both a headache. But Zou Shun didn’t stop. He muttered for a while, jumped up and ran into the street, and said that he had to see this man named He Chengyi right now.
“I know where he lives!” Zou Shun tried to break free from Fang Mo’s restraint, “He needs to make himself clear to me today!”
“Tomorrow, how about tomorrow? Tomorrow’s not too late,” Fang Mo held his waist and tried to hold him back, “You sit down first, be careful, stand steady…”
The two were stumbling around, and Xu Xiran was worried that Fang Mo would bump around, so he reached out his arms to protect them carefully.
The boss couldn’t concentrate on the barbecue and looked nervously in their direction, in fear that the drunkard would smash his barbecue stall if he got into trouble.
Fortunately, not long after Zou Shun went crazy, he became listless. He was carefully supported back to his seat and he began to calm down. His eyes were blank, his focus was lost, and he stayed motionless.
Fang Mo talked to him, but he didn’t respond.
“Could it be that he fell asleep with his eyes open?” Xu Xiran said.
Fang Mo hesitated: “…Then what should we do now? How do we bring him back?”
With Zou Shun like this, he had completely lost his ability to care for himself. It would be absolutely impossible for him to go back on his own. But even if he knew that he didn’t have that kind of intention towards Fang Mo, Xu Xiran was still unwilling to let Fang Mo carry him.
Therefore, he volunteered: “I’ll carry him back.”
Fang Mo immediately objected: “Isn’t that inconvenient!”
“What’s inconvenient about that?” Xu Xiran was dismissed by him today for not being muscular enough, and now he had a strong desire to show off, “He’s a little shorter than you, and I can run with you on my back so I can carry him back with ease.”
“That’s not the problem,” Fang Mo’s eyes wandered, “Look at him… he likes boys, right? You being touchy with him would probably make things unclear.”
This made sense, but Xu Xiran still felt slightly uncomfortable: “Then wasn’t he hugging you just now?”
“That’s different,” Fang Mo said, “If your heart gets broken, you can also hold me and cry.”
Xu Xiran looked at him. Suddenly his mind became a little confused, and he didn’t say a word.
“Why don’t we wait a bit longer,” Fang Mo said, “Maybe he’ll wake up after a while.”
After half an hour, Zou Shun was finally no longer in a daze. He fell face down on the table and fell completely sound asleep.
It was past autumn, and the cool breeze at night was a bit chilly. Sleeping out on the street in the open air like this was an easy way to get sick. Xu Xiran and Fang Mo had a stalemate with each other in the name of humility, and neither of them was willing to let the other carry Zou Shun back. In the end, they settled for the next best thing and decided to help support him together.
They each put Zou Shun’s arms onto their shoulders, one on the left and one on the right, and walked back side by side, which was quite tiring. Poor Zou Shun was shorter than both of them, so he was forced to tiptoe and dangle in the middle. The two people’s steps were slightly out of step with each other and they were pulled from side to side.
“He claimed he had completely gotten over him a few days ago. He told me that he deleted all his contact information, so I thought he meant it,” Fang Mo sighed, “Turns out he lied to me.”
“Not necessarily,” Xu Xiran said, “Maybe he just wanted to trick himself into feeling that way.”
Fang Mo sighed: “…How dumb.”
“Isn’t it said that the onlooker sees more than the player?” Xu Xiran said, “Also, don’t people often say that when you’re in love, your intelligence decreases.”
Fang Mo suddenly laughed when he heard this.
He turned his head and glanced at Xu Xiran, then said while pointing at him: “But a certain onlooker seems to be quite confused.”
Xu Xiran was poked in a sore spot, so he couldn’t help but feel ashamed. He wanted to explain but couldn’t speak, and his face burned.
In addition to feeling embarrassed, he still felt like he was a bit wronged. What was with this Zou Shun? He clearly liked someone else but behaved so ambiguously to Fang Mo and even competed with him before as a rival. This was not a mistake in his judgment. It was a problem with Zou Shun’s way of expressing friendship. Are some gay guys like girls in that they get jealous when their best friends have closer friends?
He didn’t say a word, but Fang Mo was exhilarated.
“You see, doesn’t this count as coming up with a conclusion first and then interpreting the clues, which leads to a seemingly reasonable argument that is actually groundless?” He looked at Xu Xiran with a smile.
Xu Xiran smacked his lips and did not argue with him.
Fang Mo laughed so hard that Zou Shun, who was hanging on his body, shook with him.
“What about the disparity you said?” He spoke again.
“Fine, it’s not as big, okay,” Xu Xiran turned his head the other way, “Know when to stop.”
Fang Mo had a clear view of the situation and did not say another word. But when Xu Xiran glanced at him, he found that he was still giggling.
Being in this kind of awkward position consumed a lot of energy. After walking for a while, they felt a bit uncomfortable. There was a small garden by the corner with a few benches inside, so they decided to go and take a break for a while.
Once they put Zou Shun onto one of the benches, the drunkard immediately collapsed. Fang Mo hesitated for a while, then took off his coat and draped it over him.
Zou Shun, who was lying down, took up the entire bench, so Xu Xiran and Fang Mo had to sit on another bench.
After sitting down, Xu Xiran frowned, looked at Fang Mo, and then took off his coat.
“Why are you only wearing a shirt?” He tossed the coat he took off onto Fang Mo’s lap, “Put this on.”
Fang Mo stared at him blankly.
“The one I have on is thicker than yours,” Xu Xiran explained, “I won’t get cold as easily. Put it on.”
Fang Mo hesitated for a while but did not refuse, and with a serious face, cautiously and carefully put on Xu Xiran’s coat.
Neither of them spoke, and the atmosphere felt strange.
After sitting for a while, Xu Xiran, who no longer had his coat, felt a little cold and wanted to go back sooner. But he was afraid that Fang Mo would not have had enough rest, so he held back and said nothing.
“Ai, great detective,” Fang Mo suddenly bumped him with an elbow, “Tell me, did that He Chengyi seem reliable that day?”
“I don’t know,” Xu Xiran said.
“You answered way too fast,” Fang Mo was a little dissatisfied, “Elaborate for me.”
“I haven’t even talked to him before,” Xu Xiran spread out his hands, “If I could immediately tell what kind of person he was, would you still mock me as a ‘great detective’”?
“…I didn’t mock you,” Fang Mo deflected, “I’m asking you, which means that I trust you.”
“I really don’t know,” Xu Xiran said with a sigh, “but like I said the other day, I think he really cares about Zou Shun.”
“Really?” Judging from Fang Mo’s expression, it was clear that he was satisfied with this answer.
Xu Xiran smiled awkwardly: “That’s just how I feel. There are not enough clues, so that’s all I’ll say.”
Fang Mo sighed, laughed, and pretended to praise him: “Mn, a fall into the pit, a gain in your wit. Amazing.”
Xu Xiran felt he couldn’t save face again, so he rubbed his nose and changed the subject: “Don’t you think it’s troublesome to have someone you like? You’re always left guessing, and not only is it tiring for the person involved, but it’s also tiring for everyone around them.”
Fang Mo was a little surprised: “Why are you saying this all of a sudden?”
“I’m actually quite surprised,” Xu Xiran said, “Zou Shun usually looks pretty cheerful, right? I didn’t think he was actually so unhappy inside.”
“I don’t know him too well, but I feel that he should be the thoughtful and rational type, right?” Xu Xiran said, “But to suddenly become this crazy. That was when I realized I really made a mistake in misunderstanding him. Liking someone really seems like it’s similar to being possessed.”
“You make it sound like falling in love is a terrifying thing.”
“It seems that way, at least when it’s one-sided,” Xu Xiran sighed again, “It’s not just him, many other people that I’ve met too, their souls leave their bodies, and they no longer are in control of themselves.”
“…But there are also moments of happiness,” Fang Mo retorted in a very soft voice.
Xu Xiran immediately turned to look at him.
“No, I should say that you’re happy most of the time.” Fang Mo quickly glanced back at him, “To have someone like that, who makes you happy whenever you see them, isn’t that very nice?”
Xu Xiran raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.
“In the times when you can’t see them, when you think about them, it’ll still make you feel happy. Even if you just see a character2Literal Chinese character from their name from their name, your mood will improve,” Fang Mo continued, “People who don’t have someone they like won’t be able to experience this kind of joy.”
Fang Mo lowered his head and played with the zipper on his coat with his fingers: “Something small like this can be entertained secretly for a long time… Never mind, I don’t think you’ll understand.”
Xu Xiran suddenly felt a strange feeling in his heart. Fang Mo said this as if he really had such a person in his heart. He was about to speak when he suddenly heard a roar not far away.
“You’re shitting me!”
The mood was instantly ruined. Xu Xiran and Fang Mo turned their heads at the same time to look in the direction of the voice. Two people were standing on the side of the road outside the small garden. The sky was dark and could only be distinguished from the greenery, so they could only see a general outline but not the details.
However, the voice sounded very familiar.
“I’m giving you a lot of face, okay? Let’s all speak our minds. Are you really a fucking…”
“I’m speaking my mind. Why the fuck can’t I be a 1?”
“Don’t fuck with me, okay?”
“Are you fucking discriminating against me?”
Xu Xiran turned his head to look at Fang Mo and found that Fang Mo was also looking back at him.
The two gestured to each other.
Once they confirmed, they both pricked up their ears together.
“I’m not short of sisters, okay?” Yang Lin’s voice sounded extremely displeased, “I thought about our friendly relations this whole time, and I held back all afternoon not to expose you, and yet you’re still this insistent? Are you really going to step all over me?”
“You’re so unreasonable,” Liu Xiaochang was angrier than him, “You could’ve just said that you don’t like people who are shorter than you. Why do you have to say that I deceived you? Judging people by their appearance, how low are you!”
“You’re a fox3Can also mean sly and treacherous person. What kind of fucking Liaozhai4Liaozhai zhiyi or Liaozhai, known in English as Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio, is a collection of Classical Chinese stories by Qing dynasty writer Pu Songling written in 1740, comprising close to 500 stories and supernatural tales, which served to implicitly criticize societal problems are you playing with me? Who doesn’t know this? When they all claim to be a 0.5 just to want to lie down as soon as their pants come off. Don’t do this to me!”
Liu Xiaochang angrily laughed: “I want to reiterate that I am a pure 1. My height is not my own subjective decision! Can you be more reasonable?”
“Do you think that your only problem is your height?!” Yang Lin got angry, “You’re still a liar! How do you have the nerve to fill out the height on your profile as 1.75 meters?”
“I… I’m 1.75 meters tall with my shoes on…” Liu Xiaochang’s voice was visibly weaker.
“That’s bullshit! I’m only 1.74 meters, and I can look down at you! Come here, come over, and compare with me! If you’re 1.7 meters, I’ll take your head off!” Yang Lin was furious.
Liu Xiaochang stepped back a little: “Didn’t I already apologize as soon as I came here today? Why are you bringing this up again? And how does this mean that I’m not a 1?”
Xu Xiran finally understood. No matter what, Yang Lin still couldn’t believe that Liu Xiaochang was truly a 1 and he felt that he had been deceived, so he was distraught.
Although he felt bad for Liu Xiaochang, Xu Xiran was also skeptical that he actually wanted to top him.
In his final analysis, he simply couldn’t accept that this boy who looked like a little girl actually wanted to top him for some time.
“With your tiny body,” Yang Lin began to mock him, “When you take it out, it’ll be like an enoki mushroom. And 1, you don’t even look like 0.5, maybe at most a 0.1.”
Liu Xiaochang was pissed off, and after a few seconds of silence, he suddenly said something surprising: “Fuck all this shit talk. Seeing is believing. Do you dare to get a room with me right now?”
Yang Lin was stunned for a while, then shrank: “Why, why would I go? Even if you’re a 1, you’re not my type…”
“What are you talking about? Didn’t you yap me to death that I deceived you,” Liu Xiaochang said, “If you don’t dare, then apologize to me!”
“Who said I wouldn’t dare…” Yang Lin struggled, “With your body size, you’re definitely not even half my size. I’m… I’m saving face for you, okay?”
“Fuck you,” Liu Xiaochang said in a small voice, “If you dare, then come with me?”
And then they really went together.
Fang Mo: …I admire it.
Yin: SAY WhAt?!?! 0-0
- 2Literal Chinese character from their name
- 3Can also mean sly and treacherous person
- 4Liaozhai zhiyi or Liaozhai, known in English as Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio, is a collection of Classical Chinese stories by Qing dynasty writer Pu Songling written in 1740, comprising close to 500 stories and supernatural tales, which served to implicitly criticize societal problems