43 – Xu Xiran Can’t Be Outdone
Introducing my new editor Yin! 🙂
It took Fang Mo a long time to make Xu Xiran fully understand the crux of the problem.
Then Xu Xiran’s face turned dark.
“So you’re saying that when Liu Xiaochang winked at me back then, he actually wanted to top me?” He was dumbstruck.
Fang Mo couldn’t keep himself from visualizing this image, and couldn’t breathe for a moment.
Judging by Xu Xiran’s expression, he didn’t look any better.
“This doesn’t make any sense!” he exclaimed.
Xu Xiran had always felt that he knew a bit about this kind of stuff.
It was just that the source of his knowledge was a bit biased. Just like how he liked the image of two beautiful girls being ambiguous with each other, many girls in their club were obsessed with love-hate entanglements between men. Although he would politely decline this kind of stuff, he had been familiar with it for a while and had somewhat of an understanding of it.
When Fang Mo said 0 and 1 to him, his initial thought was the binary system, and he had to think for a while before he came to his senses and realized that they were alternate names for positions in gay sex. Generally, people would call these “gong” and “shou”.
According to Xu Xiran’s intentional or unintentional observations, in many works, most gong and shou were easy to distinguish. The tall and handsome one would be the gong, and the petite and cute one would be the shou. If there was not much of a difference in body type, then the tough one would be the gong, and the delicate and soft one would be the shou. Otherwise, it depended on who had the bigger eyes, and even if they were only a little bit bigger, nine times out of ten they would be the shou. If one of them had a buzzcut, it had to be the gong.
As an analogy, if he and Fang Mo were together, then he would certainly be the gong and Fang Mo would be the shou. So when the others agreed that Fang Mo was his wife, they were not wrong.
He had been in the anime circle for a long time, so these stereotypes were deeply ingrained in him, and so compared to Fang Mo, he was even more unable to accept the terrifying reality that Liu Xiaochang was a gong.
“This Liu Xiaochang is shorter than Zou Shun, has bigger eyes than Zou Shun, and is slimmer than Zou Shun.” Xu Xiran frowned, “It’s really too unsuitable.”
Fang Mo hesitated for a moment, but in the end, did not question his argument.
Xu Xiran reached out his hand and gestured: “I think they should switch, then everyone will be happy.”
“Happy my ass,” Fang Mo didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, “If you were to switch, would you be willing?”
Xu Xiran immediately shrank back when he heard those words: “What does it have to do with me?”
Although he absolutely opposed Fang Mo’s hypothetical situation, Xu Xiran subconsciously couldn’t help but think about it. As a straight man, he had come into contact with quite a few gay men. Because of the inner conflict in his heart, he had never thought about which position those people belonged to.
Liu Xiaochang seemed like a shou, but he didn’t expect him to be a gong. Yang Lin looked neat and fresh, so he probably was a shou. Professor Xu was more difficult to tell, and it would depend on who he was with.
Zou Shun would also depend on who he was with. If he and Liu Xiaochang were next to each other, then he looked more like a gong. But if he was with Fang Mo…
Xu Xiran crossed out this hypothetical in his mind. Fang Mo would never be with Zou Shun, so this hypothetical was meaningless.
If Zou Shun were to stand with that He Chengyi from that day, he would appear to be more of a shou. Although He Chengyi’s figure was not tall and his face was not tough, his temperament was stable.
“What are you thinking about?” Fang Mo looked at him suspiciously.
Xu Xiran cleared his throat vigorously as a cover, then continued, “I have a question.”
“What is it?”
“Do you want them to be together?” Xu Xiran asked.
Fang Mo fell silent.
“If the two of them succeed, it also wouldn’t be a bad thing,” Xu Xiran cracked his knuckles, “Zou Shun could then finally give up on you and continue to be good friends with you, and Liu Xiaochang would never come to harass you again. The two of them would also happily be in love, isn’t that all good?”
Fang Mo looked miserable, “What a perfectly good cabbage1Slang for someone who, in this context, is innocent and pure…”
The implication was that Liu Xiaochang still didn’t match him. Xu Xiran also felt from the bottom of his heart that the two didn’t match. But looking at his expression, it seemed that Fang Mo had a different view.
“If Zou Shun thinks it’s okay, is that not good enough? Why do you seem like an overprotective dad?”
Fang Mo pursed his lips and frowned, and did not say anything.
He then subconsciously pouted his lips. Xu Xiran looked at him and wanted to do something, and for some reason suddenly wanted to scratch Fang Mo’s nose.
“Liu Xiaochang has even touched your butt before, he has a problem with his character,” Fang Mo suddenly emphasized loudly.
Xu Xiran withdrew the hand that he had raised half an inch, and began to carelessly bicker: “Didn’t you also touch my butt? You’ve even pinched it. Wouldn’t you also have a problem with your character?”
“Are you trying to speak for him?” Fang Mo couldn’t believe this, and stretched his hand out to him, “Am I the same as him to you? What if I continue to touch you right now!”
“Stop messing around,” Xu Xiran was between laughter and tears and helplessly dodged, “I feel like… you care a bit too much about Zou Shun, don’t you think?”
“I…” Fang Mo ended up patting him and struggled to say, “I have to care about him.”
Xu Xiran turned his head away from him: “You seem like you’re very unhappy that he likes someone else.”
Fang Mo was stunned and opened his mouth, but said nothing.
“Your mentality is not very healthy,” Xu Xiran spoke again.
Fang Mo sighed impatiently and clicked his tongue.
“I can’t get through to you,” he muttered.
Xu Xiran naturally felt uncomfortable when he heard those words. He didn’t answer and just shrugged.
“Forget it,” Fang Mo said, “I’m going to head back.”
He was about to leave when Xu Xiran hesitated for a moment and reached out to stop him.
“What?” Fang Mo furrowed his brows and asked him.
Xu Xiran didn’t know what to say, and after struggling for a moment, he raised his hand. Instead of scratching his nose, he gently pressed his thumb between his brows and carefully smoothed out the creases between his brows.
“Even if you worry about this right now, it’s useless,” he said. “If they really see eye to eye, don’t tell me you’re going to break them up?”
“…That I won’t.” Fang Mo said.
“You might as well think about this first: if Zou Shun doesn’t like him and comes back to complain to you, how would you comfort him?” Xu Xiran said.
Fang Mo was quiet for a while, then nodded, “You’re right.”
“…Remember, verbal comfort is enough.” Xu Xiran added.
“What do you mean?” Fang Mo didn’t understand for a moment.
Seeing his dazed face, Xu Xiran sighed and suddenly had a guess.
“Tell me, could this be his trick2 苦肉计 – The trick in injuring himself to gain the enemy’s confidence?” He asked loudly.
“Ah?” Fang Mo became more and more at a loss, “What are you talking about?”
“To attract your attention and make you sympathize with him,” Xu Xiran said, “so you’ll pay more attention to him and spend more time with him.”
Fang Mo blinked at him a few times, with a dazed expression on his face: “Huh?”
This little fool still didn’t understand.
When he carefully thought about it, there were flaws everywhere. Not long ago, Zou Shun had fought openly and maneuvered covertly for Fang Mo. If he were to fall in love with someone else, it would be too fast. Let alone, his online partner was Fang Mo’s roommate. How could there be such a coincidence in this world?
Therefore, there were only two possibilities. Either Zou Shun felt that it was impossible to get a response, so he was eager to find someone else to get out of this hopeless unrequited love as soon as possible, or he wanted to win back Fang Mo’s attention by pretending to be sad when they break up, and making Fang Mo circle around him because of his heartache.
Xu Xiran felt that it was very possible that the two reasons could exist at the same time.
“He probably hasn’t given up on you yet,” Xu Xiran said, “He just wants to get your attention.”
After Fang Mo was stunned for a few seconds, he sighed for some reason, and put his hand on his forehead.
“Actually… this… ” He spoke in a very tangled tone, “I think… he might not really like me… maybe this is just a bit of a misunderstanding…”
Xu Xiran smiled and shook his head calmly: “Impossible.”
Nothing ever escaped his careful observation and meticulous reasoning.
Fang Mo looked up at him and was hesitant to speak.
“How about this,” Xu Xiran said, “Do you know where they’ll meet tomorrow?”
“What do you want to do?” Fang Mo asked.
Xu Xiran smiled at him: “Follow and watch?”
Another disadvantage of being too handsome was being too exposing.
Xu Xiran looked at Fang Mo who was wearing sunglasses and a hat, trying to keep a low profile, and inwardly sighed.
“Take it off,” he said, “I’m afraid that if you go out like this, someone might ask for your autograph.”
Fang Mo pushed down his sunglasses a little, revealing a pair of innocent eyes: “But if they find out, wouldn’t that be embarrassing?”
“You’ll still be recognized like this, and it will be even more embarrassing,” Xu Xiran said, “If we look more natural, we can still pretend that we bumped into them by chance.”
Fang Mo hesitated, then finally took off his sunglasses obediently, but still kept his hat on.
“How about like this,” he said, “so it’s not easy to spot, and it’s not too strange.”
And it looks good. Xu Xiran secretly finished the sentence in his heart.
Fang Mo said that last night, he had asked Liu Xiaochang where his date was going to be, but Liu Xiaochang talked in circles and refused to say it clearly.
So he turned to ask Zou Shun and immediately got his answer.
Their date was at a cafe outside of the south gate, which was about a ten-minute walk from the school. None of them have ever been to that cafe before, as it was the kind that had a bougie atmosphere and steep prices. Although it was near the college town, not many students usually went there.
Zou Shun even said that the time and place were all booked by the other party, and that the reason for choosing this cafe was so they could have a good chat without being disturbed.
He really couldn’t tell that although Liu Xiaochang had a cute face, he actually had quite the skill and was very generous. Because after Zou Shun had evaded and said that “it’s too expensive to drink there”, he got the reply of “I asked you out, so of course I’ll treat you”.
After Xu Xiran heard this, he secretly added a point to Liu Xiaochang’s gong scoreboard in his mind.
“When the time comes, should we also go in?” Fang Mo asked him.
“We’ll see how it goes,” Xu Xiran said, “Since I was the one who suggested following them, I’ll treat you then.”
After confirming from the fourth-floor bedroom window that Liu Xiaochang had set off, the two of them immediately followed and went downstairs.
Fearing that they would be seen, the two did not dare to get too close. Since they already knew the destination, they weren’t afraid of getting lost.
“If Zou Shun ever finds out, he’ll definitely be mad at me.” Fang Mo sighed as he walked.
“You’re just concerned about him,” Xu Xiran brainwashed him, “You’re just following him to put yourself at ease, right?”
Fang Mo didn’t speak and kept walking quietly for a while when suddenly, he froze in his steps.
Right when Xu Xiran was about to ask, he was surprised to find that Fang Mo had put his arm tightly around his arm.
“Don’t move,” Fang Mo said in a low voice.
Xu Xiran quickly followed his gaze to find the reason. Not far away, stood Yang Lin, who he hadn’t seen in a long time.
Fang Mo: What’s wrong with me touching you! I want to sleep with you sooner or later, I’m telling you!
ps, this note should be read together with yesterday’s note
Yin: (≧▽≦)/ Hello everyone~ Don’t know about you but XXR just needs to turn this into a real date (/▽＼)
- 1Slang for someone who, in this context, is innocent and pure
- 2苦肉计 – The trick in injuring himself to gain the enemy’s confidence