Chapter 38 – Completely Flat

I Treat You as a Brother
Xena (ch. 1-4), tamago (ch. 5+)
68 Chapters

Chapter 1 - He claims to be the gays’ heavenly dish Chapter 2 - Facing men head on Chapter 3 - xxr Chapter 4 - Online friends meeting Chapter 5 - An Intimate First Encounter with the Iron Straight Man Chapter 6 - Weird Roommate Chapter 7 - Mouth-Watering Tofu Chapter 8 - Super! ☆Fantasy School Love❤Story☆ Chapter 9 - Big Awesome… What? Chapter 10 - A Night of Passion Chapter 11 - Your Wife Likes to Cry Chapter 12 - Another Night of Passion Chapter 13 - Danger Lurking Everywhere Chapter 14 - Do You Have a Girlfriend? Chapter 15 - He’s Gay Not Feminine Chapter 16 - Going Home in the Middle of Business Chapter 17 - It's Hard to Think of a Chapter Name Chapter 18 - A Dangerous Situation Chapter 19 - Fang · Small White Flower · Mo Chapter 20 - Are You Lusting After My Charm? Chapter 21 - It's All Strategy Chapter 22 - Do You Want to Fight at the Summit of Niohuru? Chapter 23 - Gay Love at Every Corner?! Chapter 24 - An Assist From a Rival Chapter 25 - I Know Fang Mo, He’s Not That Kind of Person Chapter 26 - Suspecting Others of Stealing the Axe Chapter 27 - It's Settled Chapter 28 - That Man Still Doesn’t Have a Last Name Chapter 29 - It Appeared, The Straight Man’s Favorite Basketball Chapter 30 - A Storm of Jealousy Chapter 31 - Happiness Appearing Without Warning Chapter 32 - Ordinary Friendship for an Ordinary Straight Guy Chapter 33 - He Looked Good, Is That Not Okay? Chapter 34 - Aren’t You My Wife? Chapter 35 - Thirty-Five is Too Late Chapter 36 - It’s Not Too Late to Admit Your Mistakes After You’ve Pursued Chapter 37 - I Don’t Understand You Straight Men Chapter 38 - Completely Flat Chapter 39 - Another Kind of Chest-to-Back Chapter 40 - Master of Reasoning Chapter 41 - BigAwesome1’s Worries Chapter 42 - Fang Mo Joins the Reasoning Team Chapter 43 - Xu Xiran Can’t Be Outdone Chapter 44 - Making Use of Every Second to Date Chapter 45 - You Are Jealous Chapter 46 - A Great Detective’s Reputation Has Been Ruined Chapter 47 - Xuedi is About to Have the Night of His Dreams Chapter 48 - A Guy Friend’s Coat and a Wife Body Pillow Chapter 49 - Xu Xiran Takes it Off Chapter 50 - So Sour! Chapter 51 - Confidential Conversations With Gay Friends Chapter 52 - Do You Like Fang Mo? Chapter 53 - Can’t Bear to Cross-Dress, Can’t Win an Otaku’s Heart Chapter 54 - The Straight Man and His Last Stubbornness Chapter 55 - Do You Hear The Beating of His Heart Chapter 56 - Xiaoyao Who? Chapter 57 - Spring Dream Chapter 58 - Shock! He Had Such Thoughts About His Brother?! Chapter 59 - Amazing! His Brother Was Also Harboring Ulterior Motives?! Chapter 60 - Passionate! The Otaku’s Enthusiastic Offensive Play! Chapter 61 - A Few Tricks in Love (For Real) Chapter 62 - Love Letter Chapter 63 - Approximating as Being Kissed Chapter 64 - Couple Filter Chapter 65 - Is the Danmei Manga You Mentioned Good? Chapter 66 - Do You Want a Massage Chapter 67 - What is This Reaction Chapter 68 - Fantastic Anime Appreciation

38 – Completely Flat

Translator: tamago


This was truly unfathomable.

From an outsider’s perspective, this sweet couple completely looked like they were two cute girls. Even more so, the view of them whispering sweet nothings to each other looked more like a pair of overly affectionate girl best friends than a gay couple.

From Fang Mo’s understanding, in most lesbian couples, one party would usually dress a bit more masculine, and in more drastic cases, it would even be difficult to tell that the two were of the same gender from appearance alone. Occasionally, both parties could have long, flowing hair and clearly look feminine, but he had never seen a case where both parties were soft and cute girls.

That boy was more delicate and cute than most girls in the world, and his girlfriend was no different. The two of them had exact same type of appearance.

Fang Mo was still processing this, while Xu Xiran, who was standing beside him, seemed to be admiring this strange young couple: “The two of them would also wear lolita skirts and hold hands on dates together, they’re so cute.”

Fang Mo frowned: “…What’s a lolita skirt?”

“It’s a kind of skirt. When cute girls wear them, they become even cuter.” Xu Xiran took out his phone and found a picture, “Here, they’re like these.”

Fang Mo looked at the thick, heavy skirt with intricate prints in the picture, and hesitated to speak.

Xu Xiran put away the phone and continued, “The two of them have been together since high school. They have been with each other for many years and have a very good relationship. So just watch and that’s it, you understand?”

Fang Mo was in no mood to protest Xu Xiran’s misunderstanding at the moment. As a member of the LGBT community, he felt he had a glimpse of the truth.

“So, is he actually transgender?” he asked Xu Xiran.

“Cross1In Chinese, the words for transgender is more like cross gender what?” Xu Xiran looked puzzled, “Genders can be crossed?”

“So like, even though he’s born a boy, he feels like he’s a girl. His situation is probably that he is physically heterosexual and mentally homosexual, right?” Fang Mo felt that his analysis made sense.

Xu Xiran spit out: “He’s probably heterosexual both physically and mentally?”

“You see that and you’re telling me he’s heterosexual?” Fang Mo frowned, “If he doesn’t feel like he’s a girl, then why does he dress as a girl?”

“Because it’s cute,” Xu Xiran said as a matter of fact, “Look at his girlfriend, isn’t she also the cute type? He just likes it that way. Now they’re twice as cute, isn’t that wonderful?”

Fang Mo couldn’t understand his logic at all.

“Don’t you think it’s great seeing two adorable girls in love with each other?” Xu Xiran said, “With no men ruining the view, every angle is cute.”

“…I guess,” said Fang Mo.

The world of anime was so incomprehensible that he was completely unable to understand.

In contrast to two girls, Fang Mo was more willing to look at two men. Even better if they were tall, handsome, fit, and full of testosterone. When he thought about it that way, he suddenly somewhat understood the thinking of these die-hard otakus.

Both of their eyes kept drifting over, and it didn’t take long before they caught that boy’s attention. After noticing Fang Mo, the boy in girl’s clothing immediately smiled at him, then stood up and cheerfully ran over.

“Hi.” As soon as he opened his mouth, Fang Mo was completely shocked by his deep voice, “We met last time, do you remember?”

Fang Mo nodded quickly, “Hello, hello.”

“Your name is Fang Mo, right?” The other party had obviously heard other people introducing him before, “My surname is Chang, Chang Tian2天 (tiān) meaning sky. You can call me… Tian Tian3甜甜 (tiántián) meaning sweet.”

Fang Mo swallowed, and repeated again, “Hello, hello, hello.”

Xu Xiran let out a chuckle, “Did hearing his voice suddenly make you lose all your thoughts?”

That was not at all the case. Fang Mo blushed with shame in his heart, and thought that although his voice was acceptable, nothing else seemed acceptable about him, especially “Tian Tian”, which was very unacceptable.

“It’s all your fault, you spilled my secret ahead of time,” Chang Tian gave Xu Xiran a look, “Now it’s no fun.”

Xu Xiran smiled as he shrugged, with a “that has nothing to do with me” attitude and an obvious lack of guilt.

Fang Mo raised his hand cautiously, “Can I ask a question?”

“What’s your question?” Chang Tian, who called himself Tian Tian, smiled and asked in a sweet tone.

The makeup on his face and the micro-expressions and movements he made when he spoke, all looked like it was from a sweet young girl. However, the sound of his voice came from a different dimension, and it seemed completely mismatched, as if he had been dubbed over twice.

Fang Mo got goosebumps, and when he asked his question, his attitude was more serious and nervous than usual, “Last time, what was stuffed in your clothes?”

The movement of it was too real. Fang Mo recalled that memory for a moment, and felt that his breathing was even hindered.

“They’re fake boobs, I bought them online,” Chang Tian didn’t shy away at all, and was very frank and even a little excited, “Don’t they look good? I just recently found out how realistic they are!”

He suddenly lowered his voice, and moved closer to Fang Mo, “Let me tell you, not only do they move realistically beneath my clothes, but they also look real when you take them out, and they even almost feel like the real thing. It’s just a shame that they’re a bit too heavy to wear, and they’re not very convenient or comfortable to move around in.”

Fang Mo leaned back slightly and began to regret that he had asked this question.

Now he completely believed that Chang Tian was a straight man. With the face of a beautiful girl, his expression and tone when he talked about the feeling of fake breasts was just too real.

“Don’t believe me?” Chang Tian smiled, “Next time I wear them and let you touch them, you will know.”

“No, no, no,” Fang Mo stepped back, “You’re too courteous!”

Chang Tian giggled, “Are you embarrassed?”

“You think everyone is like you,” Xu Xiran couldn’t help but help Fang Mo, “Seeing them occasionally is enough.”

“But it really feels good, you’ve even tried too,” Chang Tian said, “Are you not going to talk about that?”

Hearing this, Fang Mo immediately looked at Xu Xiran with his eyes wide.

“Oh God, don’t bring that up,” Xu Xiran held his forehead, “Your wife is watching you, careful, she might come and grab your ears.”

Hearing this, Chang Tian hurriedly looked back, and was relieved to see that his girlfriend was chatting happily with several other people and didn’t even pay attention to this side of the room.

He looked at Xu Xiran again with a smile, raised his hands, and made a heart in front of his chest, “I’ll serve you again next time, I’m sure you’ll be satisfied.”

After he said this, he hopped and went away.

The two left behind were Fang Mo, who was solemnly looking at Xu Xiran, and Xu Xiran, who was full of embarrassment.

“You’ve felt his chest,” Fang Mo said.

“How’s that possible,” Xu Xiran flatly denied, “That’s weird! We were out on the street, and there were people coming and going, he’s such a pervert. He insisted on rubbing them against me to share his experience of wearing them!”

He supposed that this was what Liu Xiaochang had seen.

“…So, if there was no one around, you would touch them,” Fang Mo spoke again.

Xu Xiran actually hesitated for a moment before denying it, “It’s still really weird even if there’s no one around. Whether I see him as a man or a woman, it’s still weird. If he takes it off and lets me feel it alone, then it’s okay.”

“So you just want to touch a girl’s boobs!” Fang Mo concluded.

Xu Xiran was a little embarrassed, with a stiff expression, “…Who wouldn’t want to, don’t you?”

Fang Mo really didn’t want to. Suffering from the inconvenience of saying anything, he suddenly felt like he was enduring humiliation as a part of an important mission.

“So did it feel real?” He couldn’t help being a little curious.

“How would I know,” Xu Xiran said with a grieved face, “I don’t have anything to compare it to.”

Fang Mo was hesitating on whether to comfort him or make fun of him, when the director from not far away clapped her hands, announcing the end of the break.

There was no need to record the rehearsal every time, so with nothing else to do, Xu Xiran sat with him on the edge of the venue and watched the rehearsal staff walk up and down the middle of the floor in harmony with the music.

“Be honest,” Fang Mo asked Xu Xiran in a low voice, “If it suited you, would you also be like him?”

Xu Xiran shook his head, “I can’t, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

He was shifting focus. Fang Mo felt that Xu Xiran’s attitude just now was clearly yearning for it.

“The point is not the girlfriend. But if you had one,” Fang Mo asked, “and if you looked okay when you dress up like that, would you do it?”

Xu Xiran fell into deep thought, before replying, “…Definitely not every day.”

This meant that he only wanted to indulge in this hobby on occasion.

Fang Mo felt rejoiced. Thank goodness that Xu Xiran wasn’t suitable for this.

“When’s your birthday?” he asked again.

“What?” Xu Xiran was puzzled, “Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?”

“I want to give you a birthday present,” Fang Mo said, “I’ll buy you some fake boobs, and let you hang them in your dorm, so that you can feel them anytime, anywhere, to enrich your life outside of school. That way, you can occasionally wear them by yourself, and pretend to be with your girlfriend and wear a lolita skirt on a date.”

“Are you insane,” Xu Xiran’s face turned red, “Have you been infected by him?”

“Ai,” Fang Mo sighed, “After all… With your hobbies, I don’t think you’ll have a chance to touch the real thing in the future. How pitiful.”

“Are you cursing me?”

“Didn’t you say that the other day?” Fang Mo looked at him, “that you feel like you can’t find someone.”

“I can still dream,” Xu Xiran said, “Maybe someday it will come true.”

“…Then what if the person you find is completely flat, with no ups and downs at all? What will you do then?”

Hearing this, Xu Xiran hesitated for a long time, then finally heaved a long sigh, “That would really be devastating.”

Fang Mo remained silent, bit his lip, and looked forward at the rehearsal scene in front of him.

Originally, he wanted to deliberately tease him, but in the end, he only made himself unhappy. Fang Mo felt that he was a little stupid and brought this upon himself. No matter how much closeness and importance Xu Xiran had shown towards him, it didn’t mean anything after all. Some things could not be that easily changed.

“However, it’s hard to say,” Xu Xiran suddenly said again after being quiet for a long time, “If I really find someone and they happen to be completely flat, it must mean that I really, really like this person. That’s not too bad. If I can meet the one, then I’m already pretty lucky.”

Fang Mo turned his head to look at him again.

“My birthday is December 24th,” Xu Xiran said, “If you want to give me a gift, you should get something else. If you really dare to buy me that, I’ll write your name on it and hang it on your door.”

Fang Mo lowered his head: “…You don’t know my goodwill. I want to send it to you because I really think you’ll need it.”

“Actually, that thing might not necessarily feel that real to the touch,” Xu Xiran said, “Don’t look at Chang Tian bragging on and on, he actually doesn’t have anything to compare to either. His girlfriend is completely flat.”


“It’s clear that paying attention to this doesn’t matter in true love,” Xu Xiran said.

“…Then what do you pay attention to?” Fang Mo asked him.

Xu Xiran thought for a while, then suddenly smiled, “How would I know? I’m single.”

Fang Mo sighed, “Oh.”

The two sat there for a while without saying a word, until the members of the club finished walking around and memorizing their steps, and then started their second round of putting everything together.

“Why didn’t Zou Shun come to talk to you today?” Xu Xiran suddenly asked.

Because he was misunderstood by you last time, Fang Mo thought. He purposely didn’t come over today to disturb the two of them while they were alone and getting along with each other.

“Don’t know. There are so many people here with so much going on, so maybe he didn’t notice that I was here.” Fang Mo said.

Xu Xiran nodded, “That simply means he doesn’t care about you enough.”

“Didn’t you also not notice me in the beginning?” Fang Mo said.

“I noticed you, as soon as you walked in I noticed you,” Xu Xiran smiled and pointed in the direction of the door, “You stood there and watched for a long time, right?”


“It’s just that I didn’t pay attention when you quietly came over to me.”

“Oh,” Fang Mo nodded, “then you do care about me more than him.”

Xu Xiran moved his brows a bit, and then returned to his usual calm expression. The two of them went back to paying close attention to the rehearsal, with neither of them saying a word. 



Author’s note:

*One day in the future.

*Fang Mo: I can also work hard and make my pecs big!

*Xu Xiran: Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t!


  • 1
    In Chinese, the words for transgender is more like cross gender
  • 2
    天 (tiān) meaning sky
  • 3
    甜甜 (tiántián) meaning sweet


helo i'm tamago~ hope u enjoy my translations (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)

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3 thoughts on “Chapter 38 – Completely Flat”

  1. MC to himself: I’m unbelievably witty
    Me: As you can see here folks the Dunning-Krueger Effect has just claimed its latest victim


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