Chapter 34 – Aren’t You My Wife?

I Treat You as a Brother
Xena (ch. 1-4), tamago (ch. 5+)
68 Chapters

Chapter 1 - He claims to be the gays’ heavenly dish Chapter 2 - Facing men head on Chapter 3 - xxr Chapter 4 - Online friends meeting Chapter 5 - An Intimate First Encounter with the Iron Straight Man Chapter 6 - Weird Roommate Chapter 7 - Mouth-Watering Tofu Chapter 8 - Super! ☆Fantasy School Love❤Story☆ Chapter 9 - Big Awesome… What? Chapter 10 - A Night of Passion Chapter 11 - Your Wife Likes to Cry Chapter 12 - Another Night of Passion Chapter 13 - Danger Lurking Everywhere Chapter 14 - Do You Have a Girlfriend? Chapter 15 - He’s Gay Not Feminine Chapter 16 - Going Home in the Middle of Business Chapter 17 - It's Hard to Think of a Chapter Name Chapter 18 - A Dangerous Situation Chapter 19 - Fang · Small White Flower · Mo Chapter 20 - Are You Lusting After My Charm? Chapter 21 - It's All Strategy Chapter 22 - Do You Want to Fight at the Summit of Niohuru? Chapter 23 - Gay Love at Every Corner?! Chapter 24 - An Assist From a Rival Chapter 25 - I Know Fang Mo, He’s Not That Kind of Person Chapter 26 - Suspecting Others of Stealing the Axe Chapter 27 - It's Settled Chapter 28 - That Man Still Doesn’t Have a Last Name Chapter 29 - It Appeared, The Straight Man’s Favorite Basketball Chapter 30 - A Storm of Jealousy Chapter 31 - Happiness Appearing Without Warning Chapter 32 - Ordinary Friendship for an Ordinary Straight Guy Chapter 33 - He Looked Good, Is That Not Okay? Chapter 34 - Aren’t You My Wife? Chapter 35 - Thirty-Five is Too Late Chapter 36 - It’s Not Too Late to Admit Your Mistakes After You’ve Pursued Chapter 37 - I Don’t Understand You Straight Men Chapter 38 - Completely Flat Chapter 39 - Another Kind of Chest-to-Back Chapter 40 - Master of Reasoning Chapter 41 - BigAwesome1’s Worries Chapter 42 - Fang Mo Joins the Reasoning Team Chapter 43 - Xu Xiran Can’t Be Outdone Chapter 44 - Making Use of Every Second to Date Chapter 45 - You Are Jealous Chapter 46 - A Great Detective’s Reputation Has Been Ruined Chapter 47 - Xuedi is About to Have the Night of His Dreams Chapter 48 - A Guy Friend’s Coat and a Wife Body Pillow Chapter 49 - Xu Xiran Takes it Off Chapter 50 - So Sour! Chapter 51 - Confidential Conversations With Gay Friends Chapter 52 - Do You Like Fang Mo? Chapter 53 - Can’t Bear to Cross-Dress, Can’t Win an Otaku’s Heart Chapter 54 - The Straight Man and His Last Stubbornness Chapter 55 - Do You Hear The Beating of His Heart Chapter 56 - Xiaoyao Who? Chapter 57 - Spring Dream Chapter 58 - Shock! He Had Such Thoughts About His Brother?! Chapter 59 - Amazing! His Brother Was Also Harboring Ulterior Motives?! Chapter 60 - Passionate! The Otaku’s Enthusiastic Offensive Play! Chapter 61 - A Few Tricks in Love (For Real) Chapter 62 - Love Letter Chapter 63 - Approximating as Being Kissed Chapter 64 - Couple Filter Chapter 65 - Is the Danmei Manga You Mentioned Good? Chapter 66 - Do You Want a Massage Chapter 67 - What is This Reaction Chapter 68 - Fantastic Anime Appreciation

34 – Aren’t You My Wife?

Translator: tamago


The atmosphere was somewhat awkward.

Professor Xu was much calmer than the two younger people. Seeing that they also noticed him, he smiled and nodded.

Fang Mo immediately greeted again, “Hello1Formal version of hello, Professor Xu!”

Xu Xiran was much more perfunctory than him and only raised the corner of his mouth to squeeze out a smile, then quickly pulled Fang Mo to step back.

However, Professor Xu took the initiative to talk. He sat in the second to last row slightly to the right, with a bit of a distance from Xu Xiran and Fang Mo, and when he spoke, the entire movie theater could hear him.

“Are you two also interested in this kind of film?” he asked with a smile.

Although he had his criticisms about him, he was a teacher after all, so he couldn’t be too rude. Xu Xiran responded, “We’re just here to casually watch.”

“Very nice,” Professor Xu said and pointed to the seat beside him, “Want to sit here?”

Fang Mo immediately froze.

Xu Xiran interpreted this as him being scared, and couldn’t help but frown.

“What’s wrong?” Seeing both of them standing still, Professor Xu felt puzzled.

After Xu Xiran hesitated for a short while, he moved his eyes a bit, and stopped at the person sitting to the left of Professor Xu. It was a boy who seemed to be about the same age as the two of them, was probably also a student here, and had straight eyebrows and good looks.

“No, it’s okay,” Xu Xiran smiled at Professor Xu, did not give a reason, and dragged Fang Mo to the last row where they sat on the left side.




“Do you know that boy?” Xu Xiran asked Fang Mo in a low voice after sitting down.

Fang Mo shook his head, and then showed a strange expression, “You mean, could that be… his… that?”

“Who knows,” Xu Xiran actually had the same hunch as well, “But to be like that and to also ask us to sit there, is he not sick?”

Fang Mo shrugged.

At this moment, Professor Xu unexpectedly stood up. He moved slowly the whole time, and when he passed by Xu Xiran and Fang Mo, he suddenly stopped and leaned over.

The two young men were startled by this move, and they stared stiffly at him with their eyes wide.

“Our auditorium is well-equipped, and even with the lights off, the cameras here are able to take clear pictures of the entire hall, so every move will be seen,” Professor Xu said in a low voice, “There have already been students who have been punished because of this.”

“Ah?” Xu Xiran was at a loss, “So?”

Fang Mo blinked his eyes twice, and slowly looked away.

Professor Xu didn’t say anything more and just smiled at them, then stood up, and walked towards the bathroom.

“What did he mean?” Xu Xiran still didn’t understand.

“I don’t know…” Fang Mo didn’t look at him, and his eyes drifted around.

“You can be punished for watching a movie?” Xu Xiran frowned, and just as he was about to say something more, he suddenly realized, “Shit, he thought we came here to do that!”

In the eyes of Professor Xu, they were a couple. Watching a literary film with very few other audience members, and specifically choosing to sit in the corner of the last row made it clear to him that they wanted to do something bad.

Seeing that Fang Mo was looking down without saying a word, Xu Xiran let out a long sigh.

“Forget it,” he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, “How do I say this… I’ve been getting used to it lately.”

Fang Mo suddenly laughed. He nodded inexplicably, and then said, “As long as you’re used to it.”




The movie was more boring than he had expected.

With a number of long shots and very few lines, accompanied by soothing music, it made a person sleepy. On the other hand, the cinematography was indeed quite beautiful. When the main character was dressed in red and rode a horse slowly through a golden forest, every frame was like a work of art. However, this scene, which contained no lines, happened to last for two whole minutes and made a person completely unable to focus.

Xu Xiran felt that he was probably lacking in artistic taste. Unable to watch the movie, he kept casually glancing at the audience in front of him. Not far away, he could vaguely see the outlines of Professor Xu and the boy next to him. Professor Xu was raising his hand, pointing at the screen, and leaning slightly to the side, whispering something to him. The boy was nodding frequently and responding every now and then. The two looked like they were really appreciating this art film.

“Are you feeling sleepy?” Xu Xiran asked Fang Mo as he slightly leaned his body.

No response.

He was about to turn his head when his shoulders sank. Fang Mo had already fallen asleep, sound asleep.

Xu Xiran originally wanted to tell him that this was too boring and that they should leave, and if they had time, they could even go and eat some beef noodle soup. But now, it was no longer convenient.

He kept his upper body still, carefully lowered his head, and looked at the side profile of the person leaning on his shoulder. The color from the screen was very bright, which distinctly reflected the contours of Fang Mo’s face. His skin, which was already fairer than most boys, was covered in a hazy glow.

For a moment, Xu Xiran couldn’t tell whether or not the light came from the screen. Fang Mo could have probably been bright himself.

He reached out his hand and carefully parted Fang Mo’s bangs, so that he could see the rest of his face.

It was a pity that the picture suddenly went dark.

The screen was pitch black, and it became hard to see the person beside him.

Xu Xiran looked forward again, and quickly yawned.  He rubbed his eyes, decided to give up resistance, and leaned against Fang Mo.




They slept leaning against each other until the end of the movie, and ultimately, they were finally woken up by someone else.

Xu Xiran opened his eyes in a daze, and in front of him stood Professor Xu, who didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Before he could come back to his senses, there was a sudden light that shone on his shoulder.

Fang Mo suddenly sat up straight, then wiped the corners of his mouth in a panic.

“Everyone’s already gone,” Professor Xu looked at them, “Wake up, if you don’t leave, you’ll impact the cleaning of the staff.”




Xu Xiran’s shoulder was wet.

He originally felt that his shoulder was sore and wanted to press down on it and stretch it. When he touched it with his palm, he suddenly felt that something was wrong. He frowned and looked at his slightly damp palm, then glanced at Fang Mo with disgust.

“You’re disgusting!” he said.

Fang Mo ignored him and continued to wipe his mouth.

“Look, the color here is darker.” Xu Xiran deliberately moved closer to him, forcing him to look at his wet shoulder, “How much did you drool? Are you thirsty now?”

“You’re so annoying. I didn’t mean to!” Fang Mo pushed him.

“I don’t care, you made it dirty, so you help me clean it,” Xu Xiran insisted, “Once I change out of it after I shower tonight, I’ll send it to your dorm.”

“Who cares about you?” Fang Mo was clearly suppressing a smile, “If I didn’t drool, would you not wash the clothes you’re wearing today?”

“In any case, you’re the one who got it dirty now,” Xu Xiran saw that he had done something bad and still didn’t obediently admit it, and suddenly some evil thoughts came to his heart, “Look, everyone already thinks you’re my wife, so what’s wrong with helping me wash my clothes?”

He originally thought that Fang Mo would protest why he was his wife, but he didn’t expect that after being stunned for a moment, Fang Mo would be focused on something else.

“Why does your wife have to do your laundry?” Fang Mo said, “If your wife does your laundry, what will you do?”

“I’ll make money to support the family.” Xu Xiran said as a matter of fact.

Fang Mo turned around and reached his hand out to him with his palm up, “Then where’s the money?”

Xu Xiran patted his hand, “I don’t have it.”

“Then support the family my ass,” Fang Mo rolled his eyes at him, “If you only ask and don’t give, no one will marry you.”

Hearing this, Xu Xiran suddenly became emotional, and sighed, “Ai, I also feel like I can’t find someone.”

Fang Mo glanced at him, as if he wanted to say something, but in the end, he held back.

“If only the girls in real life are like those in AVG2Adventure game, like an otome game or a Japanese visual novel/dating sim game games,” Xu Xiran said, “Cute, with many options and dialogues to choose from, and a file to read from if you make a mistake.”

“Actually… a girlfriend is not a necessity,” Fang Mo said. “Why do you have to trouble yourself? You’re relaxed and stress-free right now, does that not make you happy? Besides, you already have Xiaoyao. You still want to play around?”

Xu Xiran smiled and shook her head, “She’s not real though.”

Fang Mo glanced at him, “How are you this sober?”

Xu Xiran shrugged and made no comment. After walking a few more steps, he suddenly thought of something, and laughed again, “Then how about this, when we’re thirty, and if you’re still single and I’m still single, we can make do and spend our days together.”

Fang Mo’s footsteps paused.

“No, thirty is too early. A man is a blooming flower at thirty, let’s wait until thirty-five.” Xu Xiran said as he nodded.

“Who wants to make do with you?” Fang Mo suddenly quickened his pace and rushed forward, “You have no money, and you need me to do your laundry.”

“I’ll have money by then. If I still don’t, then I’ll wash your clothes for you, okay?” Xu Xiran followed happily, “Then you make money to support the family, and I’ll be the house cook and wash my hands and make soup for you and call you husband.”

Fang Mo turned back and said to him very seriously, “Disgusting, I don’t want that!”




Asking Fang Mo to do his laundry was of course just a joke. Xu Xiran’s hygiene habits were a bit better than the average college guy, but he wouldn’t count himself as being too diligent. There was a coin laundromat near the school, and he would usually save a pile of dirty clothes and carry them over for washing on a regular basis. Having one extra or one less piece of clothing made no difference.

He thought Fang Mo wouldn’t take it to heart.

But unexpectedly, a few hours later, Fang Mo knocked on his bedroom door, asked him why he hasn’t taken a shower yet, and made him quickly change out of his clothes.

Xu Xiran was a little confused, “What are you doing?”

“I’m here to wash for you,” Fang Mo said, “Hurry up, I’ll wait right here.”

When he said this, he was standing in the hallway without entering the door, so he naturally didn’t realize that there were other people in the dormitory besides Xu Xiran.

Feeling the bewildered gazes from behind, Xu Xiran was feeling extremely embarrassed, “No, it’s fine. I was only kidding. I can just wash it myself.”

Fang Mo didn’t appreciate this, “Stop talking nonsense, just take it off now. You can save yourself from making fun of me about it in the future.”

“Am I that kind of person?” Xu Xiran refused to admit it.

Fang Mo nodded, “Yeah you are.”

After saying this, he reached out his hand again: “Hurry up. Doesn’t your shoulder hurt? Take it off and I’ll wash it for you.”

Xu Xiran was slightly surprised. No wonder he was so obsessed with helping him wash. He was still worried that his shoulder would be uncomfortable after being pressed for too long, and that it would be inconvenient to move.

“It won’t affect me, I always use the coin laundromat outside of Xiaonanmen3Meaning little south gate,” Xu Xiran said, “You should try it too, it’s much easier than hand washing it yourself.”

Fang Mo raised his hand a little higher, “Then give me some coins.”

Xu Xiran was at a loss. In any case, the clothes of this season were not too heavy and thick, so it wouldn’t take too much trouble to wash them. Right in front of Fang Mo, he took off his only shirt.

“Here,” he handed over the balled-up clothes, “Then wash it well.”

Fang Mo reached out to take the clothes, but his eyes were fixed on a strange place.

Xu Xiran followed his eyes and looked down at his stomach, “What? Is something there?”

“Nothing,” Fang Mo turned around quickly, “I’m leaving.”

After saying this, he ran in the direction of the stairs at the other end of the hallway.

Xu Xiran didn’t understand. He was still shirtless and wanted to quickly take a quick shower while he was at it, so he turned around and went back in the room, only to find that all three of his roommates were looking at him. 

One of them even looked a bit envious.

“How nice,” said the man, “My girlfriend has never done my laundry before.”

Another laughed loudly, “That girlfriend of yours, it’s already not bad if she doesn’t ask you to help her wash!”

Xu Xiran stiffly said, “No, he got my clothes… forget it.”

He got my clothes dirty. But why did they get dirty? It’s because he went to the movies with me, fell asleep on my shoulder, drooled a puddle on it, and worried that my shoulder was uncomfortable and that I couldn’t wash it myself.

It seemed like after explaining, the problem would only get bigger.

Xu Xiran decided to ignore them and to just hurry and take a shower. Just as he walked to his drawer to get a change of clothes, he suddenly heard a cry a distance away from the door. The voice wasn’t close, and the sound wasn’t loud, but it did make him a bit concerned.

This was because it sounded like Fang Mo’s voice.

This was an all-boys dormitory, so it was not unusual to walk around shirtless. Xu Xiran hurried out to take a look in the direction of the stairs from which the voice came. There was no one in his sight, so he hesitated, then jogged over.

When he reached the stairs and looked down, Fang Mo was sitting on the steps at the corner in a daze.

“What happened?” Xu Xiran asked.

Fang Mo turned his head. His face was scrunched up, and he looked pitiful, “Come here, give me a hand.”



Author’s note:

On why Xu Xiran is not bad-looking but doesn’t have a significant other.

He is the type to always say that he wants a girlfriend, but does not take any action in real life. All his emotional energy is put into the two-dimensional world, and so he can’t get enough moe from a living girl.

But recently, he seems to suddenly be affected by the cuteness of a certain someone by his side.


  • 1
    Formal version of hello
  • 2
    Adventure game, like an otome game or a Japanese visual novel/dating sim game
  • 3
    Meaning little south gate


helo i'm tamago~ hope u enjoy my translations (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)

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