22 – Do You Want to Fight at the Summit of Niohuru?1Originating from the TV series Harem: The Legend of Zhen Huan, after Zhen Huan returned to the palace, she changed her name to Niu Gulu (Niohuru) Zhen Huan, and took vengeance and turned to the dark side from then on. Niohuru is one of the eight major Manchu surnames and the Niohuru were a prominent Manchu clan during the Qing dynasty
Translator: tamago
Editor: ling
It was 8:30 in the evening when Fang Mo was walking around in the small garden not far from the dormitory area where he had fed the cat.
“It went too smoothly, way too smoothly,” he said quickly, lowering his voice, “so smooth that I’m starting to feel uneasy.”
Zou Shun sat down on the side and looked at him, “Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Why doesn’t he find it strange at all?” Fang Mo sighed, “I’m literally full of flaws2As in accidental signs that he’s gay!”
“Ehh…” Zou Shun was helpless, “How am I supposed to know what he thinks?”
Fang Mo walked up to him, “You know, he still thinks I’m dumb.”
Zou Shun didn’t give him much face, “To be honest, you really don’t seem very smart right now.”
“At least I’m smarter than him,” Fang Mo sat next to Zou Shun. “It’s unbelievable that he hasn’t seen through my moves yet.”
“Maybe it’s because there are flaws all over you, that you’re actually invincible in front of him,” Zou Shun said. “This is called victory without a move.”
“Ai, speaking of moves,” Fang Mo sighed, “I don’t know if the move you taught me will work or not.”
~
Fang Mo had privately lamented to Zou Shun before, telling him that he was afraid he would not be able to get ahold of himself when he was alone with Xu Xiran, and inadvertently reveal his hidden thoughts.
Zou Shun had given him an idea, saying that since this was the case, he might as well catch a thief while playing thief, and that it was better to strike first. He told Fang Mo that before Xu Xiran finds anything wrong, he should take the opportunity to ask him in a joking manner if he thinks of him that way. That way, he will be able to confirm his innocence, while forcing the other party to think more about it.
This way in the future, if Fang Mo’s actions ever make him feel like a line has been crossed, he will be more inclined to subconsciously find the problem within himself, and reflect on whether it’s because of his own strange thinking.
“To get a straight man to develop feelings for you, you must first take the initiative to create an ambiguous atmosphere,” Zou Shun instructed him at the time, “Let him suddenly ‘ba-dump’ in his heart, and you’ll already be halfway there.”
What he said made sense, and Fang Mo took it seriously and immediately put it into practice.
But when the time came, Fang Mo could only inwardly sigh in his heart. Zou Shun was rich in both theoretical knowledge and experience so he was well-adept in guiding him, but when it got to his turn, why was it so ineffective?
Last night, Zou Shun had also tearfully complained to Fang Mo because his damned straight man was acting too hot and cold.
Having heard those same words countless times already, Fang Mo had developed a terrible impression of that man in his heart. Zou Shun’s prospects were not bad, whether he wanted to have a fling or a serious relationship, there was no shortage of choices. And yet, he wanted to hang his neck on this crooked tree. Zou Shun said that he had already come out to him, so if that man really kept him around on purpose simply because Zou Shun liked him, that would really be too much.
Unfortunately, it was inconvenient for him to say those words to Zou Shun. Firstly, he was afraid that Zou Shun would be uncomfortable listening to all of this, and secondly, he felt that Zou Shun wouldn’t listen at all. Even if Fang Mo scolded him fiercely when he complained, as long as Fang Mo began to persuade him to give up or started to criticize the man for being too much, Zou Shun would awkwardly start to say good things for the man.
Fang Mo was the same. After all, if Zou Shun persuaded him to give up on Xu Xiran, he probably wouldn’t be able to do it either.
It may be true that it’s only when you have been thoroughly hurt before, will you truly know pain, know how to be afraid, and learn to hide. Otherwise, if you really like someone, how could it be so easy to simply give them up? When people fall in love, their voice of reason becomes vulnerable.
Fang Mo could only secretly scold that straight man in his heart, while inwardly praying that he would be more sincere to Zou Shun.
~
“Actually, I kind of still don’t get it,” Zou Shun looked at him with a helpless expression, “What is it about Xu Xiran that attracts you so much? Besides his face.”
”Isn’t the face important?” Fang Mo asked in reply.
“It’s important, but it’s not that important,” said Zou Shun. “Looks can serve as the basis of feelings, but if you want those feelings to develop further, you have to have something else that attracts you, right?”
“There is. He has a nice body doesn’t he? He’s tall, has a nice voice, his hair is soft and fluffy, and his hairline is healthy and full of volume. He also has crescents on each fingernail,” Fang Mo said, feeling a little excited, “…and his butt is very perky.”
“……”
Zou Shun frowned while slightly leaning back away from him.
“Just keep your mouth shut and it’ll be perfect.” Fang Mo emphasized.
“He must need to have some charm in his personality!” Zou Shun shouted.
Fang Mo hesitated for a while, and although he opened his mouth, he didn’t make a sound.
“You…” Zou Shun finally broke down, “No, I can’t help it, I didn’t want to say it, but I don’t think it’ll work out with this man, I really don’t. From listening to what you’ve been saying, he really doesn’t have that capability in him. Some so-called straight men are able to bend only because they are not straight enough, do you understand?”
Fang Mo looked at him but didn’t say anything.
“The vast majority of people in this world are bisexual, but everyone is biased to different degrees,” Zou Shun said. “A real straight man can’t be bent, and that Xu Xiran seems to be exactly this type. With things like feelings, the more you give, the harder it is to give up. Even if it’s just because of looks at first, if you keep chasing and chasing, the feelings you have for him will become your one-sided attachment towards him, and the longer you drag this on, the more you’ll seriously get hurt. If all you like is his face right now, I advise you to calm down. There are so many good-looking men in the world, so there’s no need to give yourself these problems.”
“……”
“Momo, I’m really doing this for your own good,” Zou Shun looked at him seriously. “I don’t want to see you sad in the future.”
Fang Mo faintly furrowed his brows.
“…Because I’m always sad now.” Zou Shun said.
Fang Mo swallowed everything he wanted to say.
He didn’t immediately speak up in the face of Zou Shun’s questioning just now, but it was not because he couldn’t think of good things about Xu Xiran. There were no street lights where they were, and the lighting was not good in the moonlight, so Zou Shun couldn’t see this, but when Fang Mo tried to think about how to answer that question, his face turned red.
It was not that he couldn’t come up with what was good about Xu Xiran, but that when he thought of those good things, he couldn’t restrain his sudden fluster or his racing heartbeat.
He could talk about Xu Xiran’s many shortcomings. He was a bit silly and didn’t know it, and often felt very good about himself. He was addicted to hobbies that made people feel speechless and want to retreat. His nerves were also unbelievably thick, but adding all of these together would still not cause Fang Mo disgust.
When he thought about all of that, he couldn’t help but smile.
This was the dummy who would accommodate his tastes, care for his safety, do him a disservice by being clever, and think for his sake in the details that many ordinary people often ignore. He was very gentle, very kind, and very good of a person.
That day when he secretly patted him with the back of his hand under the table, Fang Mo’s heart was shaken by that gentle pat.
Yang Lin obviously didn’t harass him, he lied. He felt guilty about it, but he also didn’t feel too guilty.
In any case, it was clear that Yang Lin was targeting him. He purposely took the seat next to him and forced Xu Xiran to sit diagonally opposite him. He kept kicking his shoes, and when Xu Xiran was paying, he deliberately turned his head and made a provocative expression at him. The low air pressure that day was not imagined, but rather created. Knowing that Yang Lin later tried to tell Xu Xiran his troubles and come out to him, Fang Mo was very grateful for his impulsive behavior that night.
Neither were innocent that day. What mattered was who had the last laugh.
In his final analysis, he was able to win not because of his clever means, but because Xu Xiran favored him.
Not all straight men were as good-looking as he was, nor were they as caring. It was precisely because he knew that Xu Xiran didn’t like him that way, that Fang Mo was more certain that all the good in him was pure and genuine.
Fang Mo didn’t know if this was considered charisma, it was too hard to say. If he wanted to ramble and tell Zou Shun everything in detail, I like that he tells me he eats everything and that it’s perfect for us to eat together. I like that when I rinse my mouth to wash away the weird taste of shiitake mushrooms, he immediately finds me candy to eat. I like that he’s always carrying cat food, I like that he still has no prejudice against homosexuality even after being harassed so many times, I like the way he’s open to talking about such trivial things without worrying about being courteous, I like that his smile is like sunshine… That would all definitely make Zou Shun not know what to say, and it would make Fang Mo feel very embarrassed.
Seeing that he had been silent, Zou Shun reached out to pat him.
“What’s with your expression?” His tone sounded exasperated. “You’re acting like I’m some bad guy forcing you to break up with him.”
“…I just think he’s very good.” Fang Mo said.
“If you say so,” Zou Shun didn’t look at him, “In any case, it’s you who’s in trouble, so it’s not my business.”
Seeing that he was a little unhappy, Fang Mo put his arms around his shoulder and shook it back and forth, “I understand, I really understand. I took it all into account, so don’t worry about it.”
Just then, a vibration came from the pocket of his pants. He received a new message on his phone.
Once he looked at his phone, Fang Mo immediately gasped. Xu Xiran sent him a concise message with just one sentence.
[“How about let’s just try it like you said!”]
Fang Mo’s eyes widened, then stared at the phone in a daze. Zou Shun, who was sitting beside him, brought his head close to him with a curious expression on his face.
“Try? Try what?” he asked.
Fang Mo licked his lips, and then laughed at him, “What else could it be!”
“Damn,” Zou Shun was surprised, “He really agreed?”
Fang Mo smiled uncontrollably, as he wrapped his arms around Zou Shun’s neck and shook him even more violently.
“He actually agreed. How is he this dumb? Don’t you think he’s dumb?” He asked repeatedly while swaying, “A good start is half of the success, so I’m at least a third into success, right?”
“Yes, yes, yes, a third, a third,” Zou Shun pushed him hard as he suffered, “My head’s getting dizzy! Let go! Someone is staring at us, stop!”
“The hell is here to look at?” Fang Mo was in a good mood, “Have they never seen a handsome guy before?”
After he said this, he raised his head and was stunned.
Someone really was watching, and it was a person he happened to know.
On the side of the road, less than three meters apart, a xuedi named Yang Lin was staring at him with his eyebrows slightly raised, as well as at Zou Shun, who was struggling in his arms.
Author’s note:
Xiao Yang: Heh, how naive, would I really quit that easily?
Translator corner:
aahh Fang Mo’s thoughts on Xu Xiran…?
