He originally thought transmigrating was scary enough, but who knew that He Huan would just pop out to tell him that he not only transmigrated but also lived a hundred years. Making full use of his protagonist halo, he not only became an exceptional expert with a large harem, he even gave himself a personality disorder to watch his 18-year old self in nostalgia as he reminisced on his youth. And this entire course of events, he didn’t remember any of it?
Just a second ago, he had been on the way home from an exam, but now he’d suddenly become a hundred-years-old? He remembered that he used to be extremely lively and optimistic. Just what had he experienced to become such a damned existence like He Huan?
He stood in front of the mirror in a daze. If what he said was true, then he could understand why he felt a sense of familiarity when looking at that face. Thinking about it carefully, a protagonist who doesn’t get pursued by a bunch of cannon fodder and has to face sabotage upon transmigration really didn’t conform to the norm. If he’d followed the model and was cast into the blood and carnage of the Jianghu straight out of leaving the examination hall, perhaps, it was relatively normal to have his world views slightly skewed?
“He Huan” had a feeling that he was about to be convinced by such reasoning and hurriedly slapped himself awake. He peered at the mirror doubtfully, “Something’s not right. Although I can’t remember what I used to look like, isn’t this change a bit too big?”
Raising his head to look at him, the real He Huan absentmindedly said, “Cultivators that have successfully reached the Nascent Soul stage can adjust one’s appearance according to their whims.”
“Plastic surgery is a side benefit of cultivation?” Hearing these words, “He Huan” was stunned. Not only could he walk towards the peak of humanity, but he could also become a handsome guy. Wasn’t this simply like that novel Dragon Proud Sky from Qidian?
Seeing his own body exposing a dumbstruck expression, He Huan actually felt quite amused as he scanned him in fascination. Chuckling, he added, “This is what it’s like to be blessed with intelligence. Don’t you think you’ve gotten smarter in your actions and mannerisms compared to before? This is all because of this Master ah.”
This…indeed, he didn’t have this many inner thoughts before. He deeply understood that he was the type of character who wouldn’t even be able to survive three episodes in those dramas he watched. Seeing his own performance now, although it wasn’t enough to communicate with He Huan, who had thought process complexities that exceeded the standard, if he was put into the same drama, he’d be able to survive until the grand finale. His IQ would evolve from that of a minor character’s to one of an important supporting role’s!
Pleased, he received this new ‘high IQ’ assessment, he even felt that the person in the mirror suddenly looked a lot more pleasing to the eye. Holding a hand to his chin, “He Huan” appraised him and probed, “I say, wonderful Grand Palace Master He, can you not always address yourself as ‘this Master’? It sounds like those palace intrigue harem back-stabbing dramas, every time I feel as if you need to go sign for an abortion the next second.”
His tone was somewhat disrespectful. He stared at He Huan’s expression hoping to expose any flaws, but in the end that person didn’t reveal a single hint of unhappiness and even laughed. His tone was gentle, “Is that so? In the demonic path, it’s much more atmospheric to be addressed as such, but in private, it doesn’t really matter if you want me to use ‘I’.”
Although he’d already half-believed He Huan, he still couldn’t help testing this person. The result was that he’d been given a carefree answer, it didn’t even seem like He Huan was displeased. Then he thought that as a renowned Demon Lord, there didn’t seem to be a reason for him to pretend to be civil with an ordinary nobody. Unconsciously, he began to believe it a bit more. “He Huan” suddenly looked at him in puzzlement, “You know what palace intrigue dramas are?”
“What makes you think that I wouldn’t know?”
Sure enough, he’d listened and changed the way he addressed himself. At this point in time, he’d already more or less believed it. He sighed, “You’re really me? Do I really develop to become so abnormal in the future?1 Do I really develop to become so abnormal in the future? – 我未来居然发展得这么变态吗？ 变态 could mean both abnormal and perverted, in this case, both fits. I might change this later depending on if I get more context.”
Seeing that he’d finally started to accept his words, joy flashed through He Huan’s eyes and he reached out to pat the mirror in comfort, “You can look at it from another perspective. For example, you have powers that surpass the masses and are a hit among the ladies.”
Even though young people more or less had dreams of achieving success and fame, but to wake up and suddenly be thrust into said success and fame was still very disconcerting. He didn’t know why but if it was before his transmigration, the very idea of becoming some kind of cultivation big shot would probably have made him laugh himself awake. However now, rather than being happy, his heart only felt more at a loss, as if…could he have matured?
It’s just, he hadn’t even done anything, but once he’d woken up, he had suddenly matured already? Even fruits don’t mature this quickly, alright? Or did that lightning directly zap him to maturity?
Or could it be what he’d guessed yesterday? That he really had lived in this world for a long period of time, with this period being a hundred years. Moreover, he was living as He Huan? Isn’t this a bit too overwhelming?
For some reason, he felt as if the him right now didn’t seem to match with the him in his vague memories. He shook his head, “This all seems so surreal to me, like I’m floating as if in a dream.”
He Huan wasn’t surprised by his reaction. Thinking for a moment, he feigned a serious expression and said, “Then you can just pretend to have been fooled and accept this explanation for now.”
“Your tone makes me feel as though you really are just toying with me.”
He really couldn’t be serious with this person, but at least now he understood that He Huan didn’t seem to want to do anything to him. After carefully thinking about it, it was kind of like how women prided themselves on their intellect, men prided themselves on the size of their XX instrument, and in this case, cultivators naturally prided themselves on their Yuan Ying. During his career in web surfing, what he hadn’t ever seen was a male protagonist who would use a murderous face to glare at his own Yuan Ying. Which cultivation world does not have people treating their Yuan Yings delicately, pooling all kinds of treasures at their feet, and raised luxuriously? Even the most vicious of villains didn’t have the habit of abusing their own Yuan Ying.
Thinking of this, that gaze full of satisfied gentleness He Huan used was clearly one that men used to inspect their lifetime’s worth of accomplishments, as he examined his newly acquired ultra-plush sized Yuan Ying.
Suddenly awakening to the prospects of being a Yuan Ying, “He Huan” made a decision in his heart and nodded firmly, “Then, I will first act as your Yuan Ying?”
“That would be for the best, yes.”
Cheerfully accepting this suggestion and seeing as they’d successfully come to an agreement, He Huan smiled as he motioned for the other to come closer. Sure enough, it was only when his body really did come close enough to press against the mirror that he shifted to the other’s ear, gently saying, “However, you were originally my Yuan Ying, if you dare to run, this Master will hunt you down, erase your consciousness, and devour you.”
This person really was an evil Demon Lord! What amiableness? That was all just a disguise!
Knowing that He Huan really meant the threat, “He Huan’s” heart froze. However, now he at least believed that he was this person’s Yuan Ying. However, since he was also this body’s owner, he couldn’t help but feel distressed over their present situation. Remembering that He Huan said he exited seclusion ahead of schedule, “He Huan” deduced that was probably the amount of time the body’s original owner needed to awaken, he asked concernedly, “Speaking of, there wouldn’t be any side effects for coming out early, would there?”
As if not expecting him to catch on to this point, He Huan’s eyebrows moved, like he needed to re-evaluate his Yuan Ying’s intelligence. In contrast, his answer was airy, “Nothing much, only that my meridians are tangled and there could be a qi-deviation.”
“How come that sounds really scary?”
Just hearing these symptoms, “He Huan” who had just accepted his new status as an enlarged Yuan Ying started to worry, though He Huan didn’t seem even the least bit panicked. Gently raising his hand to brush at the mirror surface, he said, “It is pretty scary, but it’s you who’s in my meridian tangled body, as for me, I won’t be affected in the least.”
Fine, he could now confirm with complete certainty and more, this person was definitely the first to ever mistreat their Yuan Ying, this type of villain! So that was the reason why he came out to help him change into a different set of robes!
Glaring at the original who was wearing a look as if watching something amusing, the big Yuan Ying ground his teeth, “Boss, let me tell you that you’ll easily lose your Yuan Ying like this.”
Seeing him really starting to panic, He Huan finally became a little more proper, smiling, “I’m just playing with you, as long as you continue to cultivate, your meridians will naturally heal themselves. Once we achieve ascension and successfully complete the body forging step, every injury will be evenly split between us, from then on, tribulation can only get easier.”
“Does body forging mean I get to have my own body?”
Even though he was a Yuan Ying soul, his ability to catch onto key points was exceptional. The moment he heard that he could gain his own body and get rid of his abnormal state of being, he immediately felt as if he now had a clear direction for his future. As for sharing pain evenly, for the sake of rebirth, he could still temporarily tolerate this not-so-friendly setting.
“I can’t always just address you as ‘you’ all the time, I need to choose a name for you.”
The Yuan Ying in question was currently racking his brain studying. As for the proper He Huan, he completely lacked any of the enthusiasm towards tribulations, his mind was off elsewhere. Glancing at his Yuan Ying, which seemed to have regained the will to live, he appreciated this youthful look of being able to climb back up with even the slightest bit of hope. Really, it’d been too long since he’d seen it.
He internally sighed, but still maintained a teasing smile, “Just look at you, this worried sick expression, you are bound to live a hard-working life. Since this is the case, then I’ll just call you He Ku2 He Ku (何苦)- a complimentary name to He Huan(何欢) which means “of what suffering/pain”. Putting He Huan and He Ku together in Chinese references the philosophical 生亦何欢，死亦何苦 which is “No joy in life and no pain in death”..”
Of course he wanted his own name, even just any other random form of address was better than He Huan’s big Yuan Ying soul. Though for some reason, that expression He Huan was always wearing would make him subconsciously feel that he wasn’t serious, so he instantly protested, “How come it sounds like those innocent bystanders that get slaughtered by some wuxia protagonist?”
But who knew that all He Huan would do in the face of his protest was sincerely stare at him, “Are you not?”
Fine, according to the course of events that had just occurred, he certainly would have been unwittingly killed by that godly thief, who would have gotten killed by the real big BOSS He Huan in the end… so he really was the so-called collateral damage?
Tragically accepting the reality that his combat ability wasn’t enough to fight for a name change, He Ku could only think on this injustice to fuel his motivation to study harder and improve every day. Sooner or later, he would be able to reclaim his own naming right, however, considering a certain someone’s personality, he still preserved his skepticism, “Are you sure that once we ascend, I will get my own body?”
“Of course, you are me, why should I lie to myself?”
He Huan responded very smoothly, smooth to the point that He Ku felt that it was him who was overly paranoid. And yet, this didn’t obstruct him from noticing that ever since he admitted his identity as his Yuan Ying, all the previous gentleness and good-nature flew off to the ends of the universe and beyond. Truly cruel. It hasn’t even been a few minutes yet, but did his status really just go from big and cute Yuan Ying to hard labourer constantly being poked fun at in the blink of an eye? Men really were beasts that showed their true selves after gaining the body ah!
Aware that his status was rapidly lowering, He Ku finally retaliated in indignance, “I am you, and yet you’ve been incessantly ridiculing me all this time.”
This question really did stump He Huan, he’d always believed himself to be someone who treated others with gentleness and propriety, but even if that exact quality landed them on the bed together, it still didn’t hinder the process of chatting happily with each other. But how come when it came to being stuck with his Yuan Ying, he couldn’t help but want to tease him and see him flustered, he even felt particularly delighted?
He couldn’t figure out an answer even after thinking over it multiple times, in the end, he could only lay on his couch and sigh, “Perhaps, this is the thrill of self-abuse?”
Towards this, He Ku chose to hold up a middle finger to the him in the mirror, angrily shouting, “The fuck, pervert!”
End of Chapter 7
THISBRRRR: Hello! For those of you getting a little confused and want clarification, basically both He Huan also comes from the modern world and has transmigrated into this cultivation world (He Huan and He Ku REALLY are the same person). He Huan came to the world and has lived in it for 100 years, then he created his other self, He Ku, who he restricted his memory to be at just when he transmigrated. They have 100 years of experiences and memories separating them. He Huan was once He Ku, but that doesn’t mean He Ku will be He Huan. Either way, at their core, they are the same people with the same tastes (“aesthetics”), character, etc…
Also, happy birthday to my dad! XP I might eat spaghetti later today for dinner. Hope y’all enjoyed the chapter!
- 1 Do I really develop to become so abnormal in the future? – 我未来居然发展得这么变态吗？ 变态 could mean both abnormal and perverted, in this case, both fits. I might change this later depending on if I get more context.
- 2He Ku (何苦)- a complimentary name to He Huan(何欢) which means “of what suffering/pain”. Putting He Huan and He Ku together in Chinese references the philosophical 生亦何欢，死亦何苦 which is “No joy in life and no pain in death”.