Chapter 37 – A Lifetime

Editor: mako

Proofreader: jlycen

I just wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.

He Li gritted his teeth and looked at me, “I’ve been with you for four years, but you want to write it off like this?! Do you really think that I’ll let you go quietly? You have such great expectations!”

My whole body was trembling, and I didn’t know whether it was because of his words or because I was in too much pain.

Here, Lu QingFan took out a checkbook from his pocket, tore off a blank check, and handed it to He Li. He said to him without any expression, “Thank you for taking care of JiYu for these four years. The Pei family won’t treat you unfairly, so write down the expenses incurred, and I will pay you back in full.”

Enraged by Lu QingFan, He Li tore the blank check into pieces and threw it at Lu QingFan’s face.

He gritted his teeth and looked at me. “Pei JiYu, do you think that with the support of the Pei family, you will be able to leave me? Let me tell you. There is no way that could happen!”

“Mr. He, you look at yourself too highly. With or without the support of the Pei family, JiYu will still be able to leave you easily.” Lu QingFan continued in a cold voice, “At the start, the relationship had been agreeable on both sides. Now, since JiYu no longer loves you, it’s really too unsightly of you to make such a fuss.”

He Li was so furious that he trembled all over. He turned to me, raised his voice, and asked, “Pei JiYu, let me ask you, do you really not have feelings for me?”

At this point in time, I was in such great pain that I couldn’t speak. I had also never felt such pain before – it was as if a sharp ax was splitting me from the inside. After rummaging for the candy box filled with painkillers in my coat pocket,  I opened the lid with trembling hands.

However, when He Li saw that I didn’t answer, he became even angrier and raised his hand to knock over the painkillers from my hand. The colorful tablets scattered everywhere and fell to the ground, making a crackling sound that seemed to pull apart the nerves in my brain.

“You really don’t even have a smidge of feeling towards me, and rather eat candy at this time!”

He Li’s voice seemed to come from a very distant place as I only felt that my limbs were cold and I had difficulty breathing. I clutched my chest and knelt down slowly.

Gradually, my vision blurred, and I seemed to see Lu QingFan and He Li surrounding me anxiously.

The intense pain was like huge waves coming down, drowning me. In a split second, I lost all feeling. 


It was like having a long dream, and when I woke up in the hospital, I couldn’t figure out where I was for a moment.

Meng SiQi was staying vigil by my bedside. When he saw me wake up, he sighed in relief.

He said to me, “JiYu, you were in such immense pain that you went into shock.”

I managed to slowly recall what had happened.

“Where are they?” When I opened my mouth, my voice was as hoarse as a damaged gong.

Meng SiQi’s face immediately scowled when I mentioned Lu QingFan and He Li.

“They’ve been waiting outside.” Meng SiQi’s voice was very cold, “Both of them deserve death for agitating you.”

“They didn’t know I was sick.”

However, now they knew all about it.

Meng SiQi asked, “You’re willing to see them?” 

I shook my head. “No, I’m very tired right now and want to sleep a little longer. Let them leave.”

“I’ll tell them to go.”

My limbs were still cold and numb, like I was in an ice cellar.

I grabbed onto him, hesitated for a moment, and asked, “How… how is my condition?”

His body stiffened, and he replied, “Don’t worry, you’re in good shape.”

“Then tomorrow’s treatment…”

Meng SiQi said hastily, “The second stage treatment can wait. It doesn’t matter. Your blood test results are not up to standard, but this is a common situation, so there’s no need for you to make ridiculous assumptions.”

Even a fool could deduce that something was wrong.

For some time, I was silent before giving him a forced smile. “I understand. I won’t make assumptions.”

He grabbed my hand. “It’s really ok. Nothing will happen to you.” 

“Yes, nothing will happen to me.”

On the contrary, the situation was clear to me.

I pushed him. “Quickly go to work. I’m going to sleep, so there’s no need for you to worry about me.”

While leaving the ward, he sent me a worried look. 


As I laid on the bed alone, I gazed at the ceiling quietly.

How strange that at such a moment, I was not afraid at all and even felt relieved.

Nonetheless, I still felt a little dispirited and wanted to give up prolonging my life. Life comes and goes. One cannot force it. I had tried again and again, but it still turned out like this.

Anyway, death was not too terrible. I just had to close my eyes as if the sky had darkened and everything would immediately be over.

Even so, I still wanted to believe in miracles.

However, if a miracle doesn’t come, I wouldn’t be disappointed either.


I didn’t wake up until the next morning.

As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Meng SiQi lying bent over by my bed with sunken eyes and some stubble growing on his jaw. There was no one who could sleep soundly like this.

He appeared more like a patient than me.

When I lifted my hand to touch his hair lightly, he groaned and opened his eyes slowly.

I was a little embarrassed. “I’ve woken you up.” I immediately pulled my hand on his head back and said, “I can’t help but want to touch you.” 

Meng SiQi pulled my hand back and put it on his cheek. “You are welcome to touch me as much as you want.”

I laughed. “Meng SiQi, for you to say such embarrassing words without feeling shy, you are really getting more and more thick-skinned.”

He gazed at me deeply. “I’m only willing to speak such words because you are the one listening to it. I want to spend my whole life telling you honeyed words.” He buried and rubbed half of his face in the palm of my hand slowly.

I told him, “Ok, tell me a lifetime of honeyed words then. I will listen to it.”

Hearing that, Meng SiQi stopped talking.

I also felt the palm of my hand getting moist and warm.

He was crying.

In the end, he couldn’t pretend to know nothing, unable to lie to himself anymore.

I pretended that I did not see him cry and continued, “A lifetime is a long time. A really, really long time.”


It was a long time, so I hope that you’ll be able to meet another person. A person who could listen to a lifetime of your honeyed words until the end.

But what a pity, that person would not be me.

For that, I’m truly sorry.


Could be found lurking around BL novels. The translator for 法医穿越记事 (Forensic Traversing Notes) and 人人都爱裴即玉 (Everyone Loves Pei JiYu).

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